Customer Reviews

The Compleat Gentleman: The Modern Man's Guide to Chivalry

5 star:		(11)
4 star:		(11)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

How does one become a compleat gentleman? According to Brad Miner, the first step is to desire to be one (as the word should be defined, not necessarily as we use it today).

Mr. Miner does not take the "Etiquette" by Emily Post approach to the subject. A gentleman does not follow a checklist of do's and don'ts. No checklist can address every circumstance in which the gentleman may find himself.

Rather, the author attempts to show the aspiring gentleman how he should think, for if a man understands the principles that inform gentlemanly behavior, he will need no checklist.

Mr. Miner succeeds in his lesson. Though certain points are made repetitiously, the breadth of the author's knowledge of history and of the classics is not only apparent, but also helpful. The book would be interesting as a history of Western Civilization even if it did not address the topic under consideration.

The compleat gentleman, according to Mr. Miner, strives for balance between the should be, and the can be. So, while he desires to meet the highest moral and spiritual standard, the true gentleman is not, as my father once said, "So heavenly minded that he is of no earthly good."

If you want a book to tell you what to wear and when to wear it, what to say and when to say it, and how to respond to specific circumstances, do not read this book.

If, on the other hand, you want to be challenged to think like a man and live like a man, I recommend "The Compleat Gentleman."

With the large number of books being published these days, one might think there are ample books already available on any given subject. The subject of the Gentleman may be a counter-example to that idea. Brad Miner's book, The Compleat Gentleman, attempts to fill the void of books describing and defending the virtues of a gentleman.

Most of the first chapter centers on the actions of the men onboard the sinking Titanic, both the hit motion picture and the true history. While watching the movie in the theater with his son, the laughter of some teenagers behind him at the words of a gentleman made him realize what constituted chivalry in the early 1900s have been lost on the current culture. In this chapter he uses the men of the Titanic to define some elements of the gentleman and set up the rest of the book.

Chapter 2 begins Mr. Miner's deep plunge into the history of chivalrous tradition. The natural starting point is Arthurian legend since "King Arthur is the lightning rod of the chivalric imagination." Two threads are developed in this chapter that are often interwoven: the literary history of chivalrous tradition and historical information on the training and activities of knights. He not only discusses the chivalric elements of Arthurian legend but also the issues of historical reliability of the traditions. He continues on to training of the page, squire, and the knight, which leads historically to the Knights Templar.

The position of the knight faded away, but the code of chivalric conduct remained. "The model of the true knight was gradually supplanted by the beau ideal of the complete gentlemen, which-arguably-reached its zenith during the long reign of England's Queen Victoria." This transition is brought to bear in Chapter 3 in a discussion of the plethora of literature on gentlemen's code of conduct in the midst of the Victorian era.

The first three chapters are the foundation for the next three. A set of values and characteristics being established historically, Mr. Miner defines three main categories essential to the gentleman: the warrior, the lover, and the monk. Chapter 4 focuses on the martial spirit of the gentleman. According to Mr. Miner's analysis, honor is to be valued above, even at the expense of death and key to this is being prepared for anything. He colors his report with a bit of history and evidences from his own experiences.

Switching back to a more historical analysis, Mr. Miner examines the courtly love tradition in Chapter 5. After a brief tangent on women in the military, Mr. Miner comes to the conclusion that in love the goal of the gentleman is "to allow a woman to be what she wants to be." His ideal woman is "the architect of her own happiness."

Mr. Miner begins his discussion of monks in Chapter 6 pointing out what seems to be an inherent contradiction in the categories of the gentleman. "At any time have there been `lover monks'?" Instead of women, Mr. Miner focuses the affections of the monk on learning and truth. The monk qualities of the gentleman then are education and self-discipline.

After all of the build up from historical analysis, Mr. Miner gets to the application of what it means to be a gentleman today. For today's warrior courage, strength, and honor are necessary, as well as always being prepared. For today's lover, he reiterates "What does a woman want most? To have her own way. This is the key to both conjugal joy and social harmony." For today's monk he also reiterates the necessity of education. Mr. Miner sums up this chapter, in part, by reflecting on some of the codes of our armed forces and how those are examples of codes of conduct for the gentleman.

The final chapter is on the art of sprezzatura, roughly meaning restraint, though Mr. Miner spends time throughout the book playing with slight variations of meanings. The gentleman "is possessed of the commingling of restraint and detachment that is sprezzatura and that we can easily call cool."

When I picked up The Compleat Gentleman, I expected more of a book on conduct. To a great degree, I was pleasantly surprised by Mr. Miner's emphasis on historical analysis and definitions, as well as a discussion primarily focused on character rather than conduct. This is to Mr. Miner's credit. However, much of the historical information became tedious. I found myself bored through Chapters 2 and 3 and mostly kept reading in hopes that Chapter 7 would be worth it. Not only was some of the information tedious, but particularly the overview of the debate on Arthurian legend was irrelevant to the rest of the book.

The chapter on sprezzatura, I think, would have fit better before discussing the applications for today's gentleman. But disorderliness is somewhat characteristic of this book. At several points Mr. Miner begins talking about a future chapter, apologizes for getting ahead of himself, and returns to the point where he started. This often made the book feel unorganized and perhaps not well thought out (surely he has a Word processor and can rearrange his points!).

What makes this book a worthwhile read is: 1) the topic is not discussed often enough, so any discussion of it is worth the time, 2) many "academic" discussions of literature and history are brought into a layman's understanding, and 3) Mr. Miner draws out many conclusions that would make the world the better place were they practiced by men. For a Christian perspective read my full review by adding dot com to my name.

I could have easily put the book down towards the beginning, but about half way through it became more difficult to do so. In the end it was worth the time, and I would expect to read it again within the next 5 to 10 years. Overall: B-

Many men reflect in quiet moments that they are not, perhaps, what something inside them longs to be. We have every material comfort our ancestors longed for, and many they couldn't have conceived, and yet, as our President put it in 2000, so much prosperity, to so little purpose.

What is lacking is these men are not gentlemen, or at least that they are intellectually divorced from the ideal. This book is an outstanding review of the entire idea, grown so alien to us in our age of no-fault divorce, baby-daddies and crass materialism.

As Miner sets forth in his introduction, the book is neither a manifesto nor a particular call to action, but instead a concise (a bit too concise, in my opinion) history of what it has meant to be a gentleman, from the birth of the idea to what it means to be a gentleman in the modern world.

I cannot imagine a better gift for a young gentleman on the verge of graduation. This book has the potential to make the reader a better man.

The modern era has left void the definition of an ideal Man. If the "primitive wild man" of the men's movement leaves you thinking there must be another option, then Mr. Miner's "Compleat Gentleman" is for you. Using a concise (very concise) review of selected ages, Mr. Miner simultaneously presents an image of the ideal "compleat gentleman" and lays out several broad avenues for further investigation should you care to take him on. I found his book both a call to which I could aspire and a guide to start me on my way.

This is a story of how men should act. It's nice to see that everything being written about men today isn't oriented to making them look like jerks.

Mr. Miner seems to be a contrarian. In this day and time it seems that the general rule is to blame men (for everything) and to make them the (...) of any joke (just watch almost any TV show). This book, on the other hand, talks about manhood. What it means to be a man, how a man acts with dignity, restraint, and discernment. "And yes," he says, "there are rules, they are based on an ancient ideal based on service to one's God, country, family, and friends." Rules that are simple to understand but arduous to apply and worthy of a lifetime of struggle.

The rules of being a man do not mean that they negate or demean the increased rights that women have achieved in the world, but that the rules for men are not identical to those for women.

This is a highly enjoyable book. It relates back to the history of the age of chivalry with its three masculine archetypes - warrior, lover and monk. The book is filled with examples from the past and the present of the man our increasingly uncivilized age demands.

While other reviewers have done an admirable job, I would merely like to point out that this book's strengths are much greater than the sum of any perceived weaknesses.

I have most books available on "The Art of The Gentleman" and consider this one a most valuable addition. If you are serious in pursuing this lifelong quest, this volume will prove essential.

Even now it is at my side since I am in the midst of a third re-reading.

Up front, the only serious disagreement I have with the author is his support for putting women in combat. I understand his reasoning, but his lack of military experience causes him to oversimplify the question.

I find it entertaining that readers here were offended and surprised that a book with a picture of a sword on the cover and references to chivalry (which means, roughly, "horsemanship" -- knighthood) would speak positively of service in war. If you think that nonviolence in the face of evil is the more gentlemanly route (other than in very strict circumstances), then fine. Be the gentleman while your wife and children are killed before your eyes by a criminal. I, on the other hand, will be doing my utmost to defend them. (Defend your wife and children, that is, mine will already be safe.) Those who are disturbed by the use of violence in this "less hostile and disgusting world" should stop using freedoms that were bought for them (not by them) with spilt blood. And perhaps check out a wonderful country such as, say, Somalia, and tell me if the world is *really* less hostile.

Yes, the author should have fought in Viet Nam when he had the chance. Alas, hindsight is 20/20, and at least he now realizes his failing.

I found his discussions of the Templars, in particular, fascinating. Aside from their questionable personal hygiene, they seem to exemplify the very highest sort of warrior ideal. It is also a relief to see a group of extraordinarily brave men get the credit that is their due, rather than more hateful lies about conspiracies to conceal the "divine feminine."

If you are a woman, you will be relieved to know that there are still men out there who "get it." If you are a man, you will understand what it is that you felt was wrong with our society's cult of weak men. This book will challenge you. It did me.

This is a superb book! Erudite. Witty. Sincere. Poetic. Inspiring. In a world where the principles of chivalry are, more often than not, held in contempt, The Compleat Gentleman is a book that challenges you to challenge yourself. This is a book that stays with you long after you've finished it and one that I will pass along to my son when he's old enough to understand it. He's a toddler now so I plan on keeping this book for a very long time.

What does it mean to be a gentleman? That is the concept that Miner seeks to explore and does so by examining history, delving into the great concept of chivalry and the time-honored traditions that have transcended generations and cultures to give a foundational view of the concept of a gentleman. While some cultures in some eras associated the concept of the gentleman with social status, title, wealth or birth; Miner argues that the concept is better represented by the concepts of true nobility - character, dignity, restraint and discernment.

Miner is a lover of history and traces the concept of manliness from the days of the knights and the proverbial Round Table to the "women and children first" mentality found on the sinking Titanic. He writes that three masculine archetypes emerge - the warrior, the lover, and the monk - to combine in the character that Miner calls "the compleat gentleman."

Miner's warrior is a man who has something to live for - and is willing to sacrifice his life either to protect it or even to further it. The warrior is not necessarily a man of war, but a man prepared to do battle for that which he loves. His life is marked by preparation for something great and then is lived out pursuing those ideals to which he is called. One great line Miner uses to explain his warrior is from the writings of the great philosopher Epictetus who said, "For it is better to die of hunger, exempt from fear and guilt, than to live in affluence with perturbation."

If Miner's gentleman is willing to die for something he loves, it is because he loves deeply and with great passion. While romantic love definitely makes the list, it is not the sole occupant - love of God, country, and cause are also worthy objects of a gentleman's passions.

Finally, Miner's gentleman is a monk. I loved this one. Miner tells us that the word monk comes from the Greek monakhos, meaning solitary - but Miner's concept of aloneness is time for reflection and study - viewed another way, the monk is a lover "of learning and of truth."

Running throughout the book is the theme sprezzatura - a concept Miner says underlies this "compleat gentleman." It is a self-awareness and self-restraint and differs like night and day from self-centeredness or even apathy. The concept is what Christians might refer to as meekness, a trait often associated with Christ, and clearly as misunderstood. Sprezzatura is the ability to think before one speaks, to grasp the gravity of words and actions; and even to know when inaction or silence is the best avenue. It carries with it a "James Bond" like persona where actions speak louder than words, and the words flow like honey from the lips of a man with a license to kill.

Miner doesn't delude himself or the reader into thinking that this "compleat gentleman" is around every corner; quite to the contrary, "all things excellent are as difficult as they are rare" writes Miner. He gives men something to strive for, something to hold up as an ideal and an understanding that throughout history there have been men who have risen above the standards of the day to truly be called gentlemen - and we sure need more of these in this day and time!

The Compleat Gentlemen is not a Christian book, nor does the author purport it to be so; but Christian men will agree with Miner's argument that men need to be men of honor and integrity. The book is a challenging read, but well worth the effort and I would suggest it for any man, especially for a young man considering the path of his journey.

I enjoyed this book. As a teacher, I see the rampant need in our young men for some training in manners, etiquette, and chivalry. I read this book in search of some ideas to share with my own boys in trying to instill in them the importance of being a gentleman as opposed to the way the majority of boys seem to looking at life today. I found that this book contains some good information that should be shared with every young man.

Minor does a good job in bringing our attention back to common decency. He likens the complete gentleman to the warrior in that he knows that there are things worth fighting for and he should be able to stand up and fight for what is right when the occasion calls for such action. I found that this book goes well will the martial philosophy that the modern day warrior lives by and is a book which those who aspire to live the warrior lifestyle would enjoy reading. 4 stars!

Bohdi Sanders, author of Warrior Wisdom: Ageless Wisdom for the Modern Warrior