Customer Reviews

The Complete ACOA Sourcebook: Adult Children of Alcoholics at Home, at Work and in Love

5 star:		(9)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

I'm 60+ years old and always wondered why in certain areas of my life I seemed to be just a 'cog off' in many of my thoughts and reactions to life. This book was one 'ah-ha' after another. I had worked through many of the 'glitches' on my own but it was a good feeling to finally understand from where they had come. Not in a blaming way, just in an understanding way. I would recommend it to anyone from an alcoholic family who 'wonders' why they react in ways that are not 'the norm' and have needs that they have spent a lifetime trying to fill without being able to.

This was one of the most informative and helpful books I've read on the subject. It helped define the specific issues all ACOA's face and yet may not have realized were related to the experience.

I'd highly recommend this book to all ACOA's and all of their family, friends or lovers that want to understand their loved one.

Adult children of Alcoholics are the same as we are at home, at work and in love. We are a breed of our own with many stumbles along the road to reality. I often wondered why I could start so many projects and yet abandon them long before completion, and why I never understood what normal was, taking myself and life too seriously and struggling to find appropriate levels of intimacy in all of my relationships.

Author Janet Woititz leaves no stone unturned, no symptom or characteristic of an Adult Child unexamined. The book is divided into three parts based on its subtitle: How ACoA's function at home, at work and in love. Each part begins with a personal message from the author as if she takes the reader by the hand to offer validation and to lead us bravely through to the next section.

There is even a chapter called "So You Love an ACoA" for those of us whose partners still totally don't understand what we survived.

Regarding the ACoA at work, Woititz discusses our tendency towards workaholism, burnout and the subtle sabotage we may create in our jobs. A variety of professions are disected: medical student, priest, foreman, counselor, supervisor, caregiver or any employee according to how the profession relates to the ACoA, what we need to look out for and how what we've been through grants us the knowledge of how to succeed in our chosen professions. The tail end of the book even features valuable guidance for Employee Assistance programs.

This book is filled with several "Aha!" moments for me (especially Chapter 2 "What Happened to You as a Child?" and Chapter 3, "Breaking the Cycle.") I recommend its timeless information to any adult who grew up with an alcoholic parent or any form of dysfunction.

Different from Woitiz's other books, this on covers the range of what could possibly be "wrong with" you. Before this series, it was impossible to figure out "what happened." Considering most adult children are highly functional, therapists are generally clueless. They don't believe you when you tell them you don't know or understand how or why other human beings work they way they do, or how to get what you want out of them (or when to go to another source!!) This book gets it. It also has a few extras/revisions/explanations that are not included in the separate editions, but make it a more useful book.

As someone who neither understood what was happening growing up, nor realized the damage that had been done, this book was a life saver. Because my childhood was nothing extreme (I wasn't abused or neglected) when I bought it I wasn't convinced I really needed it. After six months of collecting dust, I finally picked it up and quickly found myself in the middle of a full on (and much needed) psychological overhaul. It's amazing to me now how many things I'd never considered that now seem painfully obvious.

It brought my childhood into perspective simply by explaining the alternatives that never occurred to me. The emotional/psychological problems that I'd struggled with for years now have explanations. It explains that most of my day-to-day struggles are either a result of the examples that were set during childhood (or lack there of) or survival skills (now habits) that were necessary while growing up in an alcoholic household, but are no longer functional. For the first time I can look back and replay those childhood memories within the context of "Mom/Dad had a problem; I did not deserve to be treated that way."

While it is a bit repetitious (as some of the other reviews claim) for someone who is trying to break habits and change thought patterns that have been the norm for years, a little repetition is a good thing. It covers absolutely everything and it's a huge relief to finally get a handle on it all. It's painful to read at times as it opens old wounds and even creates some new ones, but overall it was life changing. A 400 page "Ah-ha" moment.

Although this book was helpful, I also recommend "Life-skills for adult Children" by Janet Woititz, because this book is thin and contains specific advice.

This is really a good book with lots of good information. It is very easy to read and helpful as a self help book.

This is a great book which offers beginner insight for understanding the life long affects of ACOA's. Highly suggested reading for anyone who is or is dating an ACOA. Explains focus issues in easy to read and relatable terms which includes real-life examples to further explain the information. Also includes possibly solutions and steps towards recovery.

I am a therapist specializing in the field of alcoholism. I recommend this book first for adults raised in alcoholic families. One client told me, "this is the story of my life", and he is twenty years old. She nailed it. This is invaluable information.

This book answered alot of questions for me. If you've ever wondered "why do I act this way?" and you come from an alcoholic family, check this book out - quick!