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The Complete Dream Book of Love and Relationships: Discover What Your Dreams and Intuition Reveal about You and Your Love Life Paperback – June 1, 2010

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 256 pages
  • Publisher: Sourcebooks Casablanca (June 1, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 140223774X
  • ISBN-13: 978-1402237744
  • Product Dimensions: 0.8 x 5.5 x 7.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #970,759 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Gillian Holloway has a PhD in psychology and has been working with dream analysis for more than 20 years. She teaches college courses in Dream Psychology, Nightmares, and Intuition at Marylhurst University in Portland, Oregon. She lives in Vancouver, Washington.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

From the Introduction:

It is difficult knowing who is right for you and who is wasting your time, who is trustworthy and who is unstable, unscrupulous, or even dangerous. We try to apply logic to the situation, and that helps. But most of us in the dating world find that we are perfectly capable of making terrible mistakes and of caring quite deeply about someone who has few redeeming features or who just isn't a good fit for us.

Friends can tell you what they believe about the situation and what they find is true for them; a therapist can tell you guidelines about relationships in general. Family members can tell you what they hope you will find in life.

What you need, though, is someone who knows your secrets, your emotional nature, your history of sabotage, your fear of intimacy, and your fear of winding up alone. You need someone who is absolutely and unreservedly on your side, who agrees that a solid, loving relationship is worth the quest.

In the pursuit of finding and nourishing love, you should take advantage of all the advocates, advisers, and supporters you can find, but the one resource you absolutely must take advantage of is your deeper mind. This part of your psyche takes in volumes of information, even subtle or subliminal clues; it recognizes patterns sometimes in an instant; and it knows and understands your personality without judgment and the ways your quirks and your strengths impact your style of relating and your approach to love.

The bottom line is that the deeper mind is one of your most accurate and potent advisers, and it tends to speak to you through your dreams and your intuition.

How Dreams Work

From the 1950s through the 1970s, a psychiatrist named Montague Ullman rocked the comfort zone of his colleagues by starting a worldwide movement that significantly changed the way people view their dreams. Known today as peer dreamwork, Ullman's technique is used to explore the feelings and potential meaning of a dream. Before the movement, dreams were considered diagnostic tools that therapists used to reveal what types of problems their patients might have. Ullman believed that, though dreams may be useful in that regard, they are far more than diagnostic tools. In a nutshell, here are his three main concepts that opened the door to the modern exploration of how dreams work:

1. Dreams focus on the present in an attempt to make sense of current challenges, to preserve well-being, and to process information and stimulation. Dreams are simply the product of your mind constantly sorting through information and stimulation, and often presenting a distilled version of events in story form. Even when the past is woven into our dreams, it is because the deeper mind is trying to make sense of questions and goals we face in the present.

2. Dreams belong to the dreamer. Anyone who remembers and thoughtfully considers the meaning of a dream may perceive its implications and benefit from it. There is nothing inherently clinical or dangerous about attempting to discover the meaning in a dream.

3. Exploring dreams with friends or in a peer dream group can be an enriching process in which mutual support and exploration can benefit the entire group. Ullman encouraged people to form groups to share and discuss their dreams in a thoughtful, respectful style, so that individuals could explore their dreams among friends and peers, draw conclusions, and consider the implications for themselves.

More About the Author

I grew up in a rural setting, surrounded by the best of the everyday world. We lived on property that adjoined the McKenzie river in Oregon. I lived in a messy but idyllic world of horses, dogs, kittens in the barn, and long rainy seasons by the fireside where I fell in love with books. These early passions are still my foundation. The most important truths I know come from nature and from our collective wisdom and wanderings.

I was a fantastic student in early life, and a fairly unimpressive one in college. I could seldom find a place to park, and this mirrored my frustration at feeling there was essentially no place for my gifts and perspective. I settled on pretending to be content--that seemed the best bet, given that actual happiness and fitting in appeared to be out of the question.

Mythologist Joseph Campbell said that we must be attuned to happy accidents in our lives because they often lead us into the life we were meant to live; not the life we have settled for, or strategically selected: the life we were meant to live. That gentle truth should be etched in every mirror so that when we see ourselves, we also see our possibilities.

While studying psychology in graduate school I began attending dream-sharing groups. We discussed the dreams we remembered, brainstormed about what they might mean, and then zeroed in on the beating heart of the questions that really mattered to us in the moment. I drove home each week from those groups feeling as if my soul had been washed and air-dried in a summer breeze. We did not always find perfectly tidy answers, but we did something far more important: we asked the questions that really mattered. There, I found the language of my unique, messy, non-judgmental, x-ray vision soul. My habit of looking into and through, rather than "at" things was no longer a learning disability, it was a gift. The off kilter way that dreams reflect life, without obscuring the interconnections, the spirit, and the meaning of events, this is the way I think and feel. Essentially, through a whim of exploration, a happy accident, I found my life.

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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Jillian T. Timothy on June 23, 2010
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this book does not only give insight and explanations regarding the meaning of dreams based on love and relationships, but it also provides on point instructions regarding tapping into and trusting ones intuition.....a truly remarkable book that unlocks the inner you that knows what and who is best for you.....a must read.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Amy Greenblatt on June 5, 2010
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How do you know if a romantic relationship is going to be a happy and healthy one? What does lasting love feel and look like? If you dream about breathing easier, feeling safe, and being befriended rather than infatuated, is that a positive sign for your new relationship? Read the chapter "Signs of Love" to find out. What about unpleasant dreams? Can they help you recognize bad love patterns so you can reject them and learn a better way of loving? Read "No More Crazy Love" to find out.

Your dreams can show you what your waking mind misses. They can show you false beliefs, unproductive love patterns and how your relationship style works. Do you approach love with a "Sparkler", "Princess Warrior", "Nature Spirit", or "Dolphin" personality style? Do you have "Negative Hallucinations", believe "Self Erasure is Necessary" or that "Beauty Leads to Love"? Do you settle for "Almost There" or "Half a Loaf"? Do you jump in to the "Rescue"? These descriptive names are fun ways to learn about ourselves and identify behaviors and ways of thinking that may not be working well for us. When we can name and describe something, we can change it for the better. As we learn the language of dreams, and to listen to our intuition, we recognize what we need, how we want to live, and who we want to be with.

I love Gillian Holloway's books. She teaches about dreams and intuition with clear writing and straight forward examples. She is a champion for listening to and honoring the underrated intuitive side of our psyches, our "deeper mind" that creates our dreams, and a theme that runs though her writing is that this part of our psyche naturally helps protect and turn us toward health and wholeness. Our overly rational culture makes this difficult to do sometimes, but example after example in this book shows us why it's worth it.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Gillian Holloway's new book, The Complete Dream Book of Love and Relationships, is a fascinating look at the connection between our dreams and our love life. The author provides real life experiences from her dream research to help readers understand how we can look to our dreams and intuition for guidance in preparing for, finding and troubleshooting the love in our lives. I especially loved her chapter, Signs of Love, which talks about people's experiences and dreams with love at first sight. How can that not be interesting and thought provoking? I would highly recommend this book for anyone interested in understanding what their dreams are trying to tell them about the romance in their lives. Gillian Holloway's writing (in all of her dream books) is clear, well written and easy to understand. I have read a lot of other books on dreams, but I find Holloway's the most informative and down to earth compared with other authors.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
This is an odd book, in a good way, as it tackles romantic love from a psychological point of view using three complementary angles: intuition, psychology of relationships and love-types, and dream work.

The virtue here is also the defect as the lack of focus makes the book wander about too many things in general. I would have preferred more oniric symbolism and more examples of romantic-related patterns and ways of interpreting them.

The book is written in a very easy and enjoyable way, and all the advice given is sound. Many of the stories told are very illustrative.

I prefer Holloway's 5-steps to dream interpretation, but this is a very enjoyable book, packed with lots of good advice on love and romantic relationships.
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