So you've got these fond hopes for blissful love, professional glory, fame, and fortune. But in the back of your mind there's that nagging fear. The man of your dreams will laugh in your face. Your hated office rival will come up with some whizbang marketing idea and get promoted, while you'll be asked to "help out with the phones." Steven Spielberg will buy the rights to your screenplay, spend $40 million producing it, and the critics will savage the film, mercilessly singling out your work for especially contemptuous, poisonous derision. But hey, everybody fails sometime. It's inevitable. So don't fear failure. Embrace it. In Complete And Utter Failure, Neil Steinberg joyfully explores the many fascinating facets of failure, from pointless failure (a brief history of several very dumb attempts to climb Mount Everest) to product failure (Reddi-Bacon, smokeless cigarettes, and Baby Jesus dolls) to institutionalized failure (the horrifying Dickensian spectacle of the National Spelling Bee, in which 8,999,999 children out of 9,000,000 fail in an excruciatingly public and humiliating fashion). This delightful book is filled with surprising and useless arcana--who really invented the telephone, what turned on Isaac Newton--guaranteed to help you annoy people at cocktail parties. Along the way Steinberg meditates on his own myriad miscues and disappointments, beginning with his failure to perform a magic trick in front of the neighborhood kids at age four (he blames Captain Kangaroo). Complete And Utter Failure is a wonderfully literate, witty book that issues a ringing message for our times: If at first you don't succeed, have a scotch and forget about it.
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Book Description
Editorial Reviews
From the Publisher
So you've got these fond hopes for blissful love, professional glory, fame, and fortune. But in the back of your mind there's that nagging fear. The man of your dreams will laugh in your face. Your hated office rival will come up with some whizbang marketing idea and get promoted, while you'll be asked to "help out with the phones." Steven Spielberg will buy the rights to your screenplay, spend $40 million producing it, and the critics will savage the film, mercilessly singling out your work for especially contemptuous, poisonous derision. But hey, everybody fails sometime. It's inevitable. So don't fear failure. Embrace it. In Complete And Utter Failure, Neil Steinberg joyfully explores the many fascinating facets of failure, from pointless failure (a brief history of several very dumb attempts to climb Mount Everest) to product failure (Reddi-Bacon, smokeless cigarettes, and Baby Jesus dolls) to institutionalized failure (the horrifying Dickensian spectacle of the National Spelling Bee, in which 8,999,999 children out of 9,000,000 fail in an excruciatingly public and humiliating fashion). This delightful book is filled with surprising and useless arcana--who really invented the telephone, what turned on Isaac Newton--guaranteed to help you annoy people at cocktail parties. Along the way Steinberg meditates on his own myriad miscues and disappointments, beginning with his failure to perform a magic trick in front of the neighborhood kids at age four (he blames Captain Kangaroo). Complete And Utter Failure is a wonderfully literate, witty book that issues a ringing message for our times: If at first you don't succeed, have a scotch and forget about it.
From the Inside Flap
So you've got these fond hopes for blissful love, professional glory, fame, and fortune. But in the back of your mind there's that nagging fear. The man of your dreams will laugh in your face. Your hated office rival will come up with some whizbang marketing idea and get promoted, while you'll be asked to "help out with the phones." Steven Spielberg will buy the rights to your screenplay, spend $40 million producing it, and the critics will savage the film, mercilessly singling out your work for especially contemptuous, poisonous derision. But hey, everybody fails sometime. It's inevitable. So don't fear failure. Embrace it. In Complete And Utter Failure, Neil Steinberg joyfully explores the many fascinating facets of failure, from pointless failure (a brief history of several very dumb attempts to climb Mount Everest) to product failure (Reddi-Bacon, smokeless cigarettes, and Baby Jesus dolls) to institutionalized failure (the horrifying Dickensian spectacle of the National Spelling Bee, in which 8,999,999 children out of 9,000,000 fail in an excruciatingly public and humiliating fashion). This delightful book is filled with surprising and useless arcana--who really invented the telephone, what turned on Isaac Newton--guaranteed to help you annoy people at cocktail parties. Along the way Steinberg meditates on his own myriad miscues and disappointments, beginning with his failure to perform a magic trick in front of the neighborhood kids at age four (he blames Captain Kangaroo). Complete And Utter Failure is a wonderfully literate, witty book that issues a ringing message for our times: If at first you don't succeed, have a scotch and forget about it.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
8 of 9 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Donald Trump needs to read this book!,
By
This review is from: A Complete and Utter Failure: A Celebration of Also-Rans, Runners-Up, Never-Weres & Total Flops (Paperback)
A wonderful, hilarious, beautifully written, and inadvertently profound book. Neil Steinberg, previously the author of an eye-popping compendium of college pranks ("If At All Possible, Involve A Cow"), takes what would seem the most dismal of subjects and turns it into an empathetic and celebratory meditation on an underappreciated trait that binds us all together, the capacity to screw up, time and time again. Plus, how can you not love the writing of someone who describes Hostess SnoBalls as "without corollary among the foodstuffs of the planet" and "unique to the point of freakishness"? Like a lot of other people, I suspect, I loved this book so much I bought 20 copies and gave them out as presents; I'm actually glad it's out of print, for the sake of my bank account.
4 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A great weekend read,
By
This review is from: A Complete and Utter Failure: A Celebration of Also-Rans, Runners-Up, Never-Weres & Total Flops (Paperback)
Perhaps a more accurate title for this book would be "Perspective." Steinberg's theme of failure is explored from all sides and from top to bottom, the way some people get fascinated by glass paperweights. His writing style is concise but brings a laugh every couple of pages. It's a shame that such an entertaining read should be out of print. I came across a copy in a "clearance" bookstore for $4 and was intrigued by the title.
3 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
This novel is for those who face life's tragedies with humor,
By A Customer
This review is from: A Complete and Utter Failure: A Celebration of Also-Rans, Runners-Up, Never-Weres & Total Flops (Paperback)
If you ever "won" in a spelling bee, this book is a must read. Neil Steinberg captures the curious tragedies of life, however much they might try to masquerade. He finds the blunders obscuring the genius in patents, products and people. I do have to say that Mr Steinberg overuses his own experiences as the prism through which to view the world of stumbling. But then, I think he also needs and relishes criticism, and I don't want to disappoint. Overall, I want to thank Neil Steinberg for the occasional out loud chortle that surprised and disturbed both my family and strangers on airplanes as I read his book.
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