The Complete A**hole's Guide to Handling Chicks (Paperback)

~ (Author), (Author) "It all started one day when your parents were drunk and Dad attacked your nearly passed-out mom after she had finished her third glass of..." (more)
Key Phrases: sorority chicks, college chicks, other chicks, Little League, Miss America

Editorial Reviews

Product Description

Ever wonder why the a**hole always gets the girl? The answers are all here in this cradle-to-grave primer outlining how women can be manipulated, frustrated, and ultimately dominated through-out the course of a man's life. With no political correctness, no B.S., and no holds barred, who else but an a**hole could teach guys the essentials: -Dating in college (i.e., getting blackout drunk and having sex) -Women give sex to get love, men give love to get sex -Breaking up is not hard to do-if you do it first -How to cheat on your wife without getting caught -Everything that pornos are afraid to teach men about sex -And much more! With 'practical' advice throughout (inclu-ding tests, trivia, charts, and sidebars) and tons of hilarious tips to read aloud at parties, men will never be intimidated by women again!

Product Details

• Paperback: 288 pages
• Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin; 1st edition (May 1, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0312310846
• ISBN-13: 978-0312310844
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.4 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.1 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (92 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #9,597 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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  #27 in	Books > Entertainment > Humor > Parodies
  #28 in	Books > Entertainment > Humor > Love, Sex & Marriage
  #66 in	Books > Health, Mind & Body > Relationships > Marriage

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

142 of 165 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Stranger than fiction but mostly spot on! , May 11, 2005

By	Jenna1959 (APO, AE Germany) - See all my reviews

This is without a doubt the funniest damn thing I have read in the last ten years written by two individuals who either learned or have always been animals with women. Their insights while many times exaggerated (one assumes for comic effect), are dead on target about 95% of the time. What these (and all other) players understand that girly men and wussies do not, is that it's not about brutalizing, injuring or manipulating women. It all about men giving away their personal power to women they are attracted to. It's not that women are attracted to bad boys, as much as bad boys possess many of the traits that women are attracted to. Women, especially beautiful women are approached constantly and are used to making most men uncomfortable as well as bend over backwards to gain their approval. So when they finally meets a man who doesn't cower, meets their every thrust and parry without missing a beat, doesn't shower them with compliments they've heard a hundred times and actually pokes fun at them........he separates himself from the rest of the pack (of mostly nancy boys and panty waists). Bad boys are generally confident, cocky and not easily intimidated (least of all by women). These guys (the authors) truly "get it" and if you take that much away from this masterpiece in disguise, you'll start "getting it" as well, more often than you ever have in your entire life! Buy the damn book!

38 of 48 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars You gotta be kiddin' me, November 13, 2003

By	The newest a**hole (Austin, Texas) - See all my reviews

If you're some dude who can't get lucky and you need advice on how to do it, DON'T BUY THIS BOOK. The advice is mostly made up and I doubt much of it will help. BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you have even an ounce of sense of humor and want to spend the next month with milk spurting out of your nose and your ribs separating from your body from the convulsions of laughter, buy the book right friggin' now.

I don't have the words to describe how ridiculously hysterical this thing is. I saw it in a Barnes & Noble and couldn't believe they'd even sell it. When I opened the pig up, I laughed out loud on every single page I looked at.

I took it home, AND I SWEAR TO GOD, my grandmother (68, but very cool) picked it up. I thought I was going to die. She went to the last chapter (Divorce and death) and she fell on the couch nearly crying she was laughing so hard. She was very excited to learn that you can have sex until the day you die.

Anyway, long story short (too late for that) BUY THIS BOOK NOW FOR YOURSELF, YOUR WIFE, YOUR BROTHER, YOUR MISTRESS AND EVERY SINGLE PERSON ON YOUR CHRISTMAS LIST. I gotta go sit down now - I'm still out of breath from cracking up while I was on the toilet.

127 of 167 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Outrageous Fun. , March 7, 2005

By	Bernard Chapin "Ora Et Labora!" (CHICAGO! USA) - See all my reviews (TOP 500 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)

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I cannot think of any book that would more offend Big Feminism or the avatars of political correctness than this one. I'm not surprised that the authors used cover names when publishing it. The premise of the book is, unless you're rich or famous, you have to be a SOB to consistently pick up women. There is much truth in this assumption. That women are receptive to bad boys appears undeniable even if it is profoundly depressing to those of us who treat them kindly. The writers here want to teach their readers how to become a**holes so they can become more successful obtaining the pleasures that the opposite sex has to offer. In the case of this reviewer, however, it's too late. I seem to have a biological predisposition to being nice to women I like--this desire, I believe, is actually rather healthy but is counter-productive in the short-term. I do think that there is great humor in many of their rules, asides, and stories. Accusations of misogyny will (and have) be directed towards these guys, and, although I would like to defend them, I cannot. They make some sweeping generalizations that are not completely accurate, but I think that's all part of the Andrew Dice Clay tone they adopt. To them, it's all in good fun. It won't be to feministas, who complain on a daily basis about the average man's lack of submission, so one can only imagine the conniptions they'll have after reading this. Let's hope it becomes a classic in Womyn's Studies departments across the country.