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The Complete A**hole's Guide to Handling Chicks
 
 
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The Complete A**hole's Guide to Handling Chicks [Paperback]

Karl Marks (Author), Dan Indante (Author)
3.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (97 customer reviews)

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Book Description

May 1, 2003
Congratulations, man! By picking up The Complete A**hole’s Guide to Handling Chicks, you are just pages away from finally understanding:

- How a five-dollar date can get you laid
- How to stop being friends with girls and start getting them in the sack
- Where you’ll have the best odds of finding a one-night stand, and how to get rid of the chick the next morning
- How to trick a woman into thinking you’re classy, even if you have holes in your underwear
- Why fat chicks always try to keep you from banging their hot friends, and how to finally stop these evil creatures
- How to stop your wife from nagging you into an early grave
- Why it’s possible to watch six hours of football, put the moves on your neighbor’s hot daughter, and leave the toilet seat up in the same day
- And much more

The Complete A**hole’s Guide isn’t like all the other candy-ass relationship books on the market; it doesn’t cover issues like romance, love, and finding Miss Right. So, if that’s what you’re looking for, there are plenty of other books you can hide under your skirt as you skip out of the store. This book is about controlling the women in your life, and never having to say you’re sorry . . . EVER AGAIN!

We’ll take you from the day you’re born to the day you die and show you how women can be manipulated, frustrated, and ultimately dominated throughout the course of a man’s life. By illustrating the insanity of the female mind, we’ll show you why the flawed chick psyche causes them to continuously fall for the a**hole, no matter how many times they get burned.

If you’re not interested, that’s fine. We’re sure there are ballet classes you need to attend before your wine and cheese party. However, if you are ready, then grab a six-pack, order a pizza, and get your hand out of your pants because you’re about to read the most perverse, sadistic, and hysterical relationship book ever written. Enjoy!

Frequently Bought Together

The Complete A**hole's Guide to Handling Chicks + I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell (movie tie-in): with 16 page photo insert + Assholes Finish First
Price For All Three: $37.20

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  • I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell (movie tie-in): with 16 page photo insert $11.18

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  • Assholes Finish First $15.85

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin; 1st edition (May 1, 2003)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0312310846
  • ISBN-13: 978-0312310844
  • Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.5 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.1 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (97 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #60,936 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

97 Reviews
5 star:
 (49)
4 star:
 (10)
3 star:
 (5)
2 star:
 (8)
1 star:
 (25)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
3.5 out of 5 stars (97 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

164 of 219 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Stranger than fiction but mostly spot on!, May 11, 2005
By 
Jenna1959 (APO, AE Germany) - See all my reviews
This review is from: The Complete A**hole's Guide to Handling Chicks (Paperback)
This is without a doubt the funniest damn thing I have read in the last ten years written by two individuals who either learned or have always been animals with women. Their insights while many times exaggerated (one assumes for comic effect), are dead on target about 95% of the time. What these (and all other) players understand that girly men and wussies do not, is that it's not about brutalizing, injuring or manipulating women. It all about men giving away their personal power to women they are attracted to. It's not that women are attracted to bad boys, as much as bad boys possess many of the traits that women are attracted to. Women, especially beautiful women are approached constantly and are used to making most men uncomfortable as well as bend over backwards to gain their approval. So when they finally meets a man who doesn't cower, meets their every thrust and parry without missing a beat, doesn't shower them with compliments they've heard a hundred times and actually pokes fun at them........he separates himself from the rest of the pack (of mostly nancy boys and panty waists). Bad boys are generally confident, cocky and not easily intimidated (least of all by women). These guys (the authors) truly "get it" and if you take that much away from this masterpiece in disguise, you'll start "getting it" as well, more often than you ever have in your entire life! Buy the damn book!
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13 of 16 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious, July 29, 2003
By A Customer
This review is from: The Complete A**hole's Guide to Handling Chicks (Paperback)
This might be the funniest book I have ever read. If you get it for the sheer comedic value, it's the best buy in the store. But despite how completely over the top it is, there is some actual advice in there too. The section on $5 dates is a must for any guy, and the 69 deviant sexual positions in the back could make Andrew Dice Clay blush. I've heard of some of them like the Hoover, and the Angry Dragon, but Arabian Goggles, the Crazy Fireman, and the Flying Camel....I was in tears.
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16 of 22 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Funny as hell, July 2, 2004
By 
Rami Munder (Irving, TX United States) - See all my reviews
This review is from: The Complete A**hole's Guide to Handling Chicks (Paperback)
I've only read about the first 30 pages and it cracks me up at every other sentence.. I can tell I'll enjoy this book.
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Inside This Book (learn more)
First Sentence:
It all started one day when your parents were drunk and Dad attacked your nearly passed-out mom after she had finished her third glass of white zinfandel. Read the first page
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
sorority chicks, college chicks, other chicks
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Little League, Miss America
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This book is supposed to be Humorous people! 1 Aug 4, 2010
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