Customer Reviews

The Complete A**hole's Guide to Handling Chicks

5 star:		(49)
4 star:		(10)
3 star:		(5)
2 star:		(8)
1 star:		(25)

 

 

This is without a doubt the funniest damn thing I have read in the last ten years written by two individuals who either learned or have always been animals with women. Their insights while many times exaggerated (one assumes for comic effect), are dead on target about 95% of the time. What these (and all other) players understand that girly men and wussies do not, is that it's not about brutalizing, injuring or manipulating women. It all about men giving away their personal power to women they are attracted to. It's not that women are attracted to bad boys, as much as bad boys possess many of the traits that women are attracted to. Women, especially beautiful women are approached constantly and are used to making most men uncomfortable as well as bend over backwards to gain their approval. So when they finally meets a man who doesn't cower, meets their every thrust and parry without missing a beat, doesn't shower them with compliments they've heard a hundred times and actually pokes fun at them........he separates himself from the rest of the pack (of mostly nancy boys and panty waists). Bad boys are generally confident, cocky and not easily intimidated (least of all by women). These guys (the authors) truly "get it" and if you take that much away from this masterpiece in disguise, you'll start "getting it" as well, more often than you ever have in your entire life! Buy the damn book!

This might be the funniest book I have ever read. If you get it for the sheer comedic value, it's the best buy in the store. But despite how completely over the top it is, there is some actual advice in there too. The section on $5 dates is a must for any guy, and the 69 deviant sexual positions in the back could make Andrew Dice Clay blush. I've heard of some of them like the Hoover, and the Angry Dragon, but Arabian Goggles, the Crazy Fireman, and the Flying Camel....I was in tears.

I've only read about the first 30 pages and it cracks me up at every other sentence.. I can tell I'll enjoy this book.

Too many people say "Women like bad boys.", thus "nice guys finish last". That is a bit misleading.

The truth is we call winners, alpha males, etc. "bad boys" and "dangerous". Why? Because those that actually create and succeed and get power are often those that know, control, and manipulate the "system"...that is, the integrated business, legal, and social system. "Nice guys" are usually men who don't know the system...nice simply equates to naive...and that is why nice guys work their life away for "bad boys".

But men love "bad boys" too. We love action heros that break the law...Arnold, Dirty Harry, Deathwish. Why? Because deep down we all know that those that break or bend the law make important things happen. Columbus paved a path of cultural destruction and instituted slavery all the way to our nation, cowboys killed indians and Mexicans clearing a nation for others to live in, the Boston Tea Party, the Revolutionary war (and every war) was orchestrated by "bad boys" and actually fought by "nice guys".

And you don't even have to get away with breaking the law. Criminals are loved for their indescretions...from the Crip who killed a cop to the president who got a BJ, most people, men and women, not only have some level of respect for people for daring to have principles of living beyond the laws of other men. They are no one's b!tches. As the Godfather said "I don't apologize - to take care of my family, and I refused to be a fool, dancing on the string held by all those bigshots."

Anyway, women, like everyone, are looking to increase their odds of becoming a 'winner' too. Winner meaning power...the power to not work, the power to travel, the power to buy what they want, the power to not take crap from anyone. So when looking for a mate, they look for signs that a man is a winner: shoes, cars, looks, the ability to communicate, and 'winning' behavior. Acting impolite indicates that a person might just see through the social system, and actually might actually be or become a winner...instead of the zillions of nice mediocre guy.

Frankly, men look for female winners too, but are too egotistic to allow them to be superior than they are. Thus men typically look for good looking women who are a bit dumber than they are. That way the man has someone who makes them look good in front of others, has something nice to screw, and a good-looking baby maker...and yet can't interfere with the decision making.

I'd say generally wanting to be a winner is a good thing. Just try to not to be shallow or immature with how you define 'winning'...or you will lead a shallow and immature life. The best thing really is to become a mature winner yourself first, then find a matching mate.

Concerning the book, it immaturely pushed the women like bad boys theory too much without specifically explaining why. The truth is you can be a winner and be a good husband too, but you had better be ready to bend the law...think Brando Godfather. Not Pacino Godfather. The later was simply TOO willing to break laws...and he lost his wife for it.

The book was quite entertaining, it kept men's feelings pretty real (rare for today's wussy world), and actually had some usable advice for men at their various stages of life. Due to the lack of books about men's sexual needs and about examining the totality of a man's life, I give this book four stars.

I cannot think of any book that would more offend Big Feminism or the avatars of political correctness than this one. I'm not surprised that the authors used cover names when publishing it. The premise of the book is, unless you're rich or famous, you have to be a SOB to consistently pick up women. There is much truth in this assumption. That women are receptive to bad boys appears undeniable even if it is profoundly depressing to those of us who treat them kindly. The writers here want to teach their readers how to become a**holes so they can become more successful obtaining the pleasures that the opposite sex has to offer. In the case of this reviewer, however, it's too late. I seem to have a biological predisposition to being nice to women I like--this desire, I believe, is actually rather healthy but is counter-productive in the short-term. I do think that there is great humor in many of their rules, asides, and stories. Accusations of misogyny will (and have) be directed towards these guys, and, although I would like to defend them, I cannot. They make some sweeping generalizations that are not completely accurate, but I think that's all part of the Andrew Dice Clay tone they adopt. To them, it's all in good fun. It won't be to feministas, who complain on a daily basis about the average man's lack of submission, so one can only imagine the conniptions they'll have after reading this. Let's hope it becomes a classic in Womyn's Studies departments across the country.

I don't know how anybody could say this book is a disappointment. This is the funniest book I have ever read. And not only is it funny, it's actually surprisingly instructive as well.

Rather than just try to tell you how to get lucky with women, the authors go way deeper. It's really more of a life book than a dating book. They talk about, not just the relationships you have with women when you're 25 and trying to get a date, but the ones you have when you're a kid, when you're in college, when you're a young adult, when you're married and even when you're too old to care about women any more. The book shows you how you can get the best of women whether you're trying to hook up or if you're just trying to get a promotion.

The charts and quizzes are absolutely hysterical. I assumed the book wouldn't be anything more than (...) jokes but it's really much, much better. You'll laugh at their jokes but when you're done laughing, you'll realize that they just gave you a clever new way to handle women. I think it's a great book. Anybody who gave it one star must have serious issues with their masculinity or are just too damn jealous of these guys to be objective.

Some of the advice is standard: don't be needy, show value, exploit insecurity. But these guys go a step further: what do you do when you are in your 30s and 40s and 50s? The answer: get married before you turn 40 because women will not trust a man over 40 who has never been married. Of course, they go on to talk about cheating on your wife(always deny, never leave a trail), finding a wife with money(reminds you of the Sam Kinison routine: homelessness is solved by either getting a job or sleeping with someone who has a job), make sure you have a wad of cash for the divorce and take steps to protect your assets. And speaking of Kinison---these guys write like they are channeling him. It is often harsh, sometimes inappropriate, and usually a distortion of the truth, but isn't all humor?

If you're some dude who can't get lucky and you need advice on how to do it, DON'T BUY THIS BOOK. The advice is mostly made up and I doubt much of it will help. BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you have even an ounce of sense of humor and want to spend the next month with milk spurting out of your nose and your ribs separating from your body from the convulsions of laughter, buy the book right friggin' now.

I don't have the words to describe how ridiculously hysterical this thing is. I saw it in a Barnes & Noble and couldn't believe they'd even sell it. When I opened the pig up, I laughed out loud on every single page I looked at.

I took it home, AND I SWEAR TO GOD, my grandmother (68, but very cool) picked it up. I thought I was going to die. She went to the last chapter (Divorce and death) and she fell on the couch nearly crying she was laughing so hard. She was very excited to learn that you can have sex until the day you die.

Anyway, long story short (too late for that) BUY THIS BOOK NOW FOR YOURSELF, YOUR WIFE, YOUR BROTHER, YOUR MISTRESS AND EVERY SINGLE PERSON ON YOUR CHRISTMAS LIST. I gotta go sit down now - I'm still out of breath from cracking up while I was on the toilet.

OK, OK, so you think the title is ridiculous and you're sure that this book is nothing more than a bunch of boozed up fraternity idiots lying themselves silly about all the women they claim to get. And, to an extent, you'd be right. I haven't heard this much raunchy humor since junior year at UCLA. Every other word is slut and whore and beer and drunk and dude.

But I gotta tell you, and this comes from a guy who's got his Ph.D. in one of those majors that you'd cross the street to get away from, the guys who wrote this book have a tremendous amount of insight, knowledge and humor.

Interestingly, rather than just talk about the bar scene and pick-up lines (which is what I expected when I got the book as a gag gift), they give you instructions on how to live your life from the day you're born till the day that you die. And if you can stomach a bunch of obscene words and penis jokes, the advice is really good, the insight into human nature is fantastic and I can't tell you how many times I ended up shaking my head and saying "you know what, these guys have got a point."

Now, don't get me wrong, it's rough and tumble and, if you're not prepared for some hard core put downs, you might want to find an idiot's guide or something. But if you really want to laugh, and pick up on a surprisingly large number of good ideas when dealing with the opposite sex (and women, you want to learn what goes on inside a guy's sick, twisted head) this is the book you want to get.

I'm as shocked to be praising this book as you probably are to be reading this review but, trust me, this book is good fun and you'll definitely have a conversation piece.

Just don't tell anybody I told you so.......

A buddy of mine at work bought this book for me. I was reading it during our Christmas party and had about 10 guys around me cracking up. I'm sure the booze helped but one guy was laughing so hard, he threw up. I read it on the subway home and some guy next to me was leaning over my shoulder reading and laughing, too. He said he was going to go over to B&N and buy it immediately.

So you've got about 12 guys in a row who thought this was the best thing since sliced bread. And then I got home.

My wife took one look at it, threw it in the garbage, screamed at me for 20 minutes and vowed that she would never have sex with me again. I haven't talked to her since.

Of course I went out the next day and bought another copy of the book and spend every morning commute laughing my behind off. Any book that can win me friends, impress my buddies AND GET RID OF MY SHREW OF A WIFE shouldn't just be rewarded with a solid review, it should get the Nobel Peace Prize, Pulitzer and Oscar all wrapped up in one.

Buy the book, show it to your wife, get some peace and quiet for the first time.