Most Helpful Customer Reviews
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23 of 27 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
The litany of a Liar, May 2, 2007
Absolutely amazing that this person can create excuses for all his behavior. He had one goal in life - to get to the Presidency - and everything he did was to advance that goal including marrying Dina his 2nd wife. This woman was in the wrong place at the wrong time and got enmeshed in the web of lies and avarice that ruled McGreevey's life. How incredible that everybody else is the cause of what he did - no responsibility from him, no true apology to his wife for what he did. He robbed his wife of the ability to trust anybody else and left his daughter with the legacy of her father's lies and continued hypocrisy. His sexuality has nothing to do with the morally corrupt person he is. He continues to lie and try to rehabilitate himself in the eyes of the public - remember this is what he has done over and over! Don't fall into the trap of believing any of his explanations; you may want to believe in the goodness of people but this man has no redeeming values at all. I am sorry that Oprah ever had him on her show - he was great theater at that time- but he is such a manipulator. This is so sad for Dina's daughter but also for his older daughter who is of an age to understand what has gone on.
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111 of 142 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
You are missing the point, September 21, 2006
I think folks are missing the point of the book in many respects. It is not psycho-babble, nor is he trying to explain away political transgressions. He is being completely honest for the first time in his life. If you read the whole book it is very clear why he made the decisions he did. Unless you have lived what he went through, spending your formative years being told you were abomination and mentally ill, and watching a society allow hateful behavior toward gays in all of its institutions, you cannot understand why he chose to try to conform to what is considered normal behavior. This story is not unique to McGreevy; literally thousands of men and women are living the story in this book every day. I find his words inspiring, honest, and candid. This issue is not going away, folks. Many of you are going to find out you have gay sons and daughters. Then you will understand the McGreevy story. As the son of a Baptist minister, McGreevy's story is mine. I praise him for having the courage to write it and I thank those of you who bash it, because then more people will buy it and get it out there. It is a very important book.
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21 of 26 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
But What About Dina?, September 24, 2006
I'm half way through "The Confession," and I'm sure I will finish it. Indeed, it's well written. And it certainly offers an inside look at what it's like to grow up as a gay person and to feel the need to hide who you really are. It's painful reading at times.
One cannot help but to feel for James McGreevey and to sympathize with how society has made it unbearable for people like him to be honest with their families, their employers, their friends, their colleagues and themselves. But by having this book be all about him, McGreevey so inadequately addresses the feelings of Dina, the wife he left behind.
In my view, McGreevey has done a real disservice to the thousands and thousands of women who learn their husbands are gay. What about Dina's feelings in all this? She's the one who will ultimately have to deal with McGreevey's coming out for the rest of her life.
I know this firsthand. My wonderful ex-husband of 17 years came out in January 1996 when our two kids were 15 and 13. He, like McGreevey, had been married twice -- once to his high school sweetheart, with whom he also had a child, and then to me. While I have always felt my ex-husband's pain and certainly recognize and abhor the discrimination that gays still experience, I can say with all candor that it's the "surviving straight spouse" who is ultimately left to pick up the pieces -- and often times in total isolation. After all, the gay man who comes out is warmly welcomed by the gay community from Day 1. But his wife has few with whom to turn.
I remember being shocked, sad beyond words, embarrassed and in total disbelief. My life and the lives of our children were turned upside down overnight. My entire belief system was shaken. I'm a resourceful person and, thank God, quickly figured out how to tap resources to help me begin to understand it. But it's been a painful and long process, and one that only time and faith have helped. I've been changed forever by my ex-husband's shocking revelation. But life indeed goes on, and, thankfully, I've been able to find happiness again. But....the experience will never go away. I shudder at the thought of the many women out there who live in rural areas, who aren't financially independent, who don't have familiues who support them (when they learn their husband is gay), or who aren't as resourceful. My heart goes out to them all.
The incredible betrayal that Dina certainly feels cannot be explained adequately. As my therapist told me shortly after my ex came out, "Your husband spent years and years coming to terms with this. Now it's your turn."
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