Confessions of a Counterfeit Farm Girl [Paperback]

Susan McCorkindale (Author)

Book Description

Release date: October 7, 2008

A laugh-out-loud memoir about a city slicker who discovers that Manolos and manure just don?t mix.

At her husband?s prompting, suburban mom and New York career woman Susan McCorkindale agreed to give up her stressful six-figure job. Together, they headed down south to a 500-acre beef farm, and never looked back. Well, he didn?t look back. She did. A lot.

From playing ?spot the religious billboard? on the drive to rural Virginia, to adapting to a world without Starbucks, to planning bright-orange hunter-resistant wardrobes for the kids (?We moved here to get away from the madness of Manhattan only to risk getting popped on our own property?), this is her hilarious account of how a city girl came to love?or at least tolerate?country life.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Susan McCorkindale, a former marketing director at Family Circle, is now a freelance advertising copywriter in the wilds of Virginia. But she still loves the New York Giants, Bruce Springsteen, and the Jersey Shore. This is her first book. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

• Paperback: 349 pages
• Publisher: NAL Trade (October 7, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0451224930
• ISBN-13: 978-0451224934
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.3 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (79 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #196,905 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Praise for 500 Acres and No Place to Hide...

"500 Acres and No Place to Hide ... will just as easily make readers laugh as wipe tears from their eyes."
-- Kirkus Reviews

"Silly, funny, poignant and heart breaking all at the same time."
-- BigRedCouch.com

"McCorkindale is serious girl-crush material. Her humor and wit are brilliantly funny."
-- AParentinSilverSpring.com

"Saucy, but deeply honest. McCorkindale's wit and wisdom are amazing."
-- Laura Collins, Author, Eating with Your Anorexic

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

26 of 27 people found the following review helpful

1.0 out of 5 stars Don't Waste Your Money March 27, 2011

By Stormy Apgar

Format:Paperback

I bought this book thinking it sounded like an interesting, light read. I started it on the first of several long distance flights and the best thing I can say about it is that this book is responsible for me finally purchasing a Kindle. I struggled through the first section as the author proudly explains in excruciating detail how she took home a six-figure income while doing as little as possible, coercing her already overworked subordinates to do her job for her. So now I'm on the airplane wishing I had access to a book store so I could put this book next to the barf bag on the back of the seat in front of me. Chapter after chapter the book did not improve. The writing style was irritating. She uses "footnotes" to give you even more detail about her current topic than you ever wanted and as I made it about 1/3 of the way through the book I realized it wasn't going to improve as she trashes everyone she meets as not worthy of her time, stupid, not dressed in the designer styles she thinks they ought to be wearing, etc. etc. The crowning moment being when her new community finally gets the Starbucks she has been longing for and she complains about that too because the barista was too polite and didn't give her the "dose of rudeness" she craves with her coffee. This is a self-absorbed woman who did have some great experiences but was too busy whining to even notice. I skimmed through a few later chapters to see if her attitude improved as the book wore on but I found no indication of that. My time is too valuable to read something so pathetic when there are so many wonderful authors out there so I did not finish this book. I also decided it was unfair to subject the next poor soul who got my seat on the plane to this miserable book so I put it in the recycle bin in the airport and promptly ordered a Kindle so I will never again be without an option should I ever find myself reading such a waste of paper again.

20 of 23 people found the following review helpful

1.0 out of 5 stars Could not stand her voice October 21, 2009

By K.A.T.

Format:Paperback

I wanted to like this book--I thought I would like this book. Unfortunately, Susan McCorkindale is entirely out of touch with the average reader/person. She complains to no end about how hard it is to live in her brother-in-law's house that is "practically a four-star hotel." How annoying it is that the contractors aren't getting their renovations done on time (more items that would cost a FORTUNE). How inconvenient it is to have to spend 2 hours at the DMV--HEY SUSAN, ANYONE WHO HAS EVER MOVED TO A NEW STATE, OR EVEN A NEW HOME, SPENDS TWO HOURS AT THE DMV. AND MOST OF US HAVE JOBS THAT WE HAVE TO TAKE VACATION TIME FROM TO DO IT. She is condescending and comes off as a huge snob. I would never, ever recommend this book to ANY LIVING PERSON.

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful

2.0 out of 5 stars Kind of painful and boring November 8, 2010

By Hannah108

Format:Paperback

Usually books like these are up my alley but this was very disappointing. I am so surprised to see there is going to be a second book. The author tries way too hard to be funny and her use of subtexts is annoying. Looks like she was trying to copy a Jen Lancaster book (who IS funny). It seemed kind of offensive to hear about her time working at Family Circle and how she often bought $700 skirts. My guess is the average Family Circle reader is not in that category. In one subtext, she uses the term J A P and I just don't think she should have gone there. Don't waste your money.