Confessions from an Honest Wife: On the Mess, Mystery & Miracle of Marriage [Paperback]

Sarah Zacharias Davis (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 1, 2006

Women often enter marriage with pipe dreams and romantic notions they've entertained since childhood. However, the realities of being a wife can soon bring discouragement as issues inevitably arise. In Confessions from an Honest Wife, emerging author Sarah Zacharias Davis lifts the shame and censorship that accompany these challenges. Davis presents composites of women who share candidly their most exhilarating, baffling, and sometimes-disheartening experiences. Covering a variety of subjects from acceptance and boundaries to submission, sex, and intimacy, Confessions lets women know they are not alone in their difficulties. Discussing both her personal accounts as well as the questions of women she's met and interviewed, Davis assures readers that through the triumphs and defeats of the marriage relationship, there can be growth, forgiveness, hope, and revelation of God's faithfulness in their lives.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

First-time author Davis, daughter of the highly regarded evangelical apologist Ravi Zacharias, delivers hefty contemplation on marriage as she superbly showcases the personal journeys of 20 married women. Davis emulates the 1960s consciousness-raising groups where women aimed to explore their lives with honesty and share in the commonality of life's experiences. Tackling the "heart" issues like sex, intimacy and forgiveness with refreshing frankness, Davis says healthy wives become more fluid over time, take risks by trusting with abandon and stay faithful even when emotional excitement is replaced by a calm rapport. One of her most poignant and telling chapters recounts the story of a woman whose life has been characterized by abuse. She is traveling to a new job, yet of all the things she might desire (house, finances, security, the return of her children from foster care), she longs for physical beauty and the power it confers. Davis's real-life composite characters are transparent in their story telling, not pretending to have all the answers, and this single ingredient makes the book all the more compelling.
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From the Back Cover

Imagine the strength and wisdom women would gain if we shared our hidden thoughts with each other. Is your marriage everything you hoped it would be-with effortless compromise, joyous companionship, and near-constant romance? Maybe-but probably not. And if you're like most women today, you don't feel comfortable admitting that you're disappointed. Sarah Zacharias Davis offers you a fresh perspective on the greatest issues wives face. Through twenty-one real-life accounts, Confessions from an Honest Wife tackles such touchy subjects as " submission and sacrifice " growth in adversity " boundaries and roles " sex and intimacy " and much more. This honest, reflective, and faith-filled book is a must-have for every woman who has ever felt the desire for a deeper, more authentic marriage relationship. Discover the growth, forgiveness, hope, and faith that come through being honest about the failures and triumphs in your marriage.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 192 pages
• Publisher: Revell (March 1, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0800730917
• ISBN-13: 978-0800730918
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.5 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,447,658 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Outstanding, February 8, 2007

By 

Ghost Writer "Cookie" (Woodbridge, NJ) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Confessions from an Honest Wife: On the Mess, Mystery & Miracle of Marriage (Paperback)

I have to say that I wish I had read this book a while ago. I loved it. It was honest, candid and remarkably well written. I've read several books on marriage, women's issues, but none of them can compare. A job well done for the first time author Ms. Sarah Zacharias Davis!

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars She has done a great service to women, June 5, 2007

By 

FaithfulReader.com (New York, New York) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Confessions from an Honest Wife: On the Mess, Mystery & Miracle of Marriage (Paperback)

I recently read a fascinating book called A History of the Wife by Marilyn Yalom. In the book, Yalom deftly navigates the waters of religion, sociology, anthropology and pop culture to map the ideas that have shaped a woman's presence in marriage from Adam and Eve through the present time. One of the challenges, however, of Yalom's work is the dearth of personal narratives from women for much of history. The quandary was a surprising reminder to me that women have been reading and writing in large numbers for a relatively brief amount of time.

However, if in several thousand years a historian wanted to pick up Yalom's work and trace the history of the wife from this present time to that then-present time, the task would be significantly different thanks to this newfound literacy and books like Confessions from an Honest Wife. Written by Sarah Zacharias Davis (daughter of well-known apologist Ravi Zacharias), it presents the as-told-to stories of 20 women as they grapple with issues in chapters like "Submission," "Sex" and "Boundaries."

There's also a chapter titled "Expectations," but the effect of the expectations that people bring to marriage can be felt on every page. As Shannon says in her chapter, "When we eventually married, I had many expectations for what our lives together would be like, but I never knew exactly what those expectations were or even that I had them, until they weren't met. Isn't that the way of expectations? We never think to voice them and talk them over beforehand, but when they aren't met it seems as if all heaven and earth hang on them."

Given that most of the women featured in the book came from homes where their parents filled what are often called "traditional" roles, most of the expectations in question are of decidedly conventional nature. And while many of these women are now wrestling with the lessons of their parents' marriages, there is still a decidedly conservative flavor to their musings. For example, wanting spiritual leadership from their husbands is a common theme among many of the narratives. This will be helpful to some and wearisome to others.

I found the chapters to be alternately frustrating (as when they reveal inner dialogue that is given to hyperbole: "I truly think it's entirely possible that no one is more selfish [than me] --- and I hate myself for it." Surely that statement is naive at best or indulgent at worst.) and refreshingly messy (as when Olivia sounds like she's trying to convince herself as much as the reader that she's willing to stay in her marriage despite intense longing for another man).

That said, there is a certain reserve in the prose that gives me the sense that Confessions from an Honest Wife could have gone even further in its exploration of "the mess, mystery & miracle of marriage." The process many of the women engaged in to deal with their issues in marriage is often truncated. The sense of journey is abridged. The answers, when they do come, come a bit too soon.

Answers, of course, are not the point of Confessions FROM an Honest Wife. Community, awareness, understanding, empathy...these are the book's loftier goals. And to these ends, it is a valuable source of wifely camaraderie --- a good and important read for married and single women alike as we all grapple with our own expectations of this state that will shape so many of our lives. While Sarah Zacharias Davis doesn't share much of her own married life in this book, her experience no doubt served as a catalyst for this collection of stories, and therefore she has done a great service to women. And to future historians.

--- Reviewed by Lisa Ann Cockrel

2.0 out of 5 stars Not as "honest" as I'd hoped, September 5, 2011

By 

Jessica A Dager - See all my reviews

This review is from: Confessions from an Honest Wife: On the Mess, Mystery & Miracle of Marriage (Paperback)

Since the premise of this book is that women are sharing honestly about marriage, I was disappointed at how vague some of the entries were. There were several entries that made veiled references to marital infidelity, but you really had to just guess what the person was talking about. It seemed counter productive so be so "honest" about one aspect of marriage, and then cloak another in generic language. It also seemed strange that adultery or pornography might be areas to be less open about, especially in these times.