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Confessions of the Other Mother: Non-Biological Lesbian Moms Tell All
 
 
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Confessions of the Other Mother: Non-Biological Lesbian Moms Tell All [Paperback]

Harlyn Aizley (Editor)
4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (15 customer reviews)

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Book Description

May 1, 2006
After author Harlyn Aizley gave birth to her daughter, she watched in unanticipated horror as her partner scooped up the baby and said, "I'm your new mommy!" While they both had worked to find the perfect sperm donor, Aizley had spent nine months carrying the baby and hours in labor, so how could her partner claim to be their child's mommy?

Many diapers later, Aizley began to appreciate the complexity of her partner's new role as the other mother. Together, they searched for stories about families like their own, in which a woman has chosen to forgo her own birth experience so that she might support her partner in hers. They found very few. Now, in Confessions of the Other Mother, Aizley has put together an exciting collection of personal stories by women like her partner who are creating new parenting roles, redefining motherhood, and reshaping our view of two-parent families. Contributors include Hillary Goodridge, who was one of the lead plaintiffs in the case for same-sex marriage in Massachusetts, stand-up comedian Judy Gold, and psychologist and author Suzanne M. Johnson.

This candid peek into a previously unexamined side of lesbian parenting is full of stories that are sometimes humorous, sometimes moving, but at all times celebratory. Each parenting tale sheds light on the many facets of motherhood, offering gay and straight readers alike a deeper understanding of what it means to love and parent in the twenty-first century.

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

More than 15 years into the lesbian baby boom, Aizley's collection of first-person accounts by nonbiological lesbian mothers is a long time coming. Nonlegalistic and (mostly) nonharrowing, these tales are only tangentially about powers of attorney, two-parent adoption, and custody battles, instead illumining what it is to be mom and not-mom at the same time. Some pieces explore the feelings of envy and loss of would-be but infertile mothers learning to accept their easily pregnant partners. Others examine the "lesbian daddy" role, as in Polly Pagenhart's exceptional "Confessions of a Lesbian Dad"; and the lesbian stepmom role, like CNN reporter Mary Cardaras's "Family of the Heart." The most moving essay, "And You Are?" by Hillary Goodridge, describes the peril of being the other mother who is a legal and familial cipher, unrecognizable as "real" family to either partner or child in the eyes of anyone but them. These essays explain what it is to be biologically estranged from your spouse and child(ren) and the daily struggle for approval and acceptance that these women face in society and sometimes even in their own homes and hearts. (May)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist

What of the "other" mother, the one who provides loving maternal care and some or all material support but hasn't gestated or given birth to the child? The contributors to this book of answers to that question don't shy away from "other" moms' jealousy for the "flesh-on-flesh, boundaryless nurturing" of the breastfeeding bond; the ambivalence of being 40-plus and hitherto "too busy healing my inner child to have my own kids"; or such wrenching experiences as a disharmonious split with a mentally ill partner who wouldn't allow visiting privileges, let alone partial custody ("even when it became clear my ex could no longer parent[,] . . . I didn't have a chance because I was a biological stranger in the eyes of the court"). Editor and biological mom Aizley's representative selection of the voices of those who, to the usual maternal trials and tribulations, add the difficult, revolutionary task of creating and defining unusual roles within and outside of their homes constitutes a valuable addition to the gay studies and women's issues shelves. Whitney Scott
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

Product Details

  • Paperback: 208 pages
  • Publisher: Beacon Press (May 1, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0807079634
  • ISBN-13: 978-0807079638
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.4 x 8.4 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (15 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #184,173 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

 

Customer Reviews

15 Reviews
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Average Customer Review
4.3 out of 5 stars (15 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

8 of 9 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars All the wrong things... with a few exceptions., April 19, 2010
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This review is from: Confessions of the Other Mother: Non-Biological Lesbian Moms Tell All (Paperback)
All the wrong thoughts to be bringing into this new stage in your life. The word "confessions" in the title should have clued me in to the fact that this book wasn't going to be about all the beautiful things happening to my partner. I don't disagree that other mother's really do have these thoughts, but its not a celebration book by any scope of the imagination. Do NOT give this book as gift to the "other mother" in your life.
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8 of 9 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Much Need Voice, November 4, 2006
This review is from: Confessions of the Other Mother: Non-Biological Lesbian Moms Tell All (Paperback)
This book provides a much needed voice to the world of parenting essays and writing. The essays range from serious to hysterical, covering a wide range of experiences. I highly recommend the book for all parents, gay, straight, biological or non-biological. It's about being parents.
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11 of 14 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Fun fun fun!!, June 8, 2006
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This review is from: Confessions of the Other Mother: Non-Biological Lesbian Moms Tell All (Paperback)
This book was really great. As a "other mother" myself, I was thrilled to hear about this book, and it is all it says it shouls be- funny, sad, cute. I loved reading it, and have telling friends to buy it!
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Inside This Book (learn more)
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
lesbian dad
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Aunt Emma, United States, New York, Shirley Partridge, Tel Aviv, Santa Cruz, San Francisco, Hillary Goodridge
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