Confessions of a Prairie Bitch: How I Survived Nellie Oleson and Learned to Love Being Hated [Paperback]

Alison Arngrim (Author)

Book Description

Release date: June 14, 2011

Confessions of a Prairie Bitch is Alison Arngrim’s comic memoir of growing up as one of television’s most memorable characters—the devious Nellie Oleson on the hit television show Little House on the Prairie. With behind-the-scenes stories from the set, as well as tales from her bohemian upbringing in West Hollywood and her headline-making advocacy work on behalf of HIV awareness and abused children, Confessions of a Prairie Bitch is a must for fans of everything Little House: the classic television series and its many stars like Michael Landon and Melissa Gilbert; Gilbert’s bestselling memoir Prairie Tale... and, of course, the beloved series of books by Laura Ingalls Wilder that started it all.

Editorial Reviews

Review

“Hilarious and heartbreaking.” (Atlanta Journal-Constitution )

“Arngrim, decades past her ‘Little House On The Prairie’ years, dishes lots of great on-set stories, talks about what being a kid actor in the 1970s was actually like and discusses her own painful family history with frankness and humor....Delightful.” (NPR.org )

“Spunky Alison Arngrim, who played Nellie [Oleson], gets my kudos...Alison has a knack for yanking people’s chains in a good way. And her new bestselling memoir, Confessions of a Prairie Bitch, is such an absorbing read, I just had to give the woman a call for some bitch talk.” (Michael Musto, Village Voice )

“’Confessions of a Prairie Bitch’ says it all: Neither Arngrim nor Nellie could ever be called boring.” (Entertainment Weekly )

“Courage, moxie, chutzpah , cajones. Alison Arngrim has them all in spades. In “Confessions of a Prairie Bitch,” she bares her soul and manages to share her story with grace, dignity, and her inimitable humor. Simply put, I love this book and I love her. ” (Melissa Gilbert )

“Alison Arngrim, familiar to a generation of TV viewers as the petulant Nellie Oleson of ‘Little House On The Prairie,’ is dishing the dirt on Walnut Grove.” (AOL PopEater )

“Arngrim displays a healthy sense of humor.” (Chicago Sun-Times )

Arngrim looks back on playing the pint-sized sociopath in her memoir, “Confessions of a Prairie Bitch,” in which she merrily recalls show creator and star Michael Landon, that infamous blond wig, and how Nellie inspired her lifelong obsession with villainy.” (New York Post )

“Alison Arngrim is a talented actress and an author who has patched together a meaningful life and created a book whose pages…fly.” (Phyllis Diller )

“As a city bitch myself, I loved this book! It’s nice to see how the other half lives. Alison Arngrim’s memoir is a hilarious, moving, and dishy Hollywood tale.” (Margaret Cho )

“Alison Arngrim is a fine actress and a true comedienne. She has always been the kind of ‘Bitch’ who tells it like it is. So, readers beware, you are in for an eye-full of reality told with a remarkable sense of humor.” (Carol Channing )

“Whoa, Nellie! “Confessions of a Prairie Bitch” is a book that you will keep stored under a haystack in the barn, to dip into whenever you need a shot of something that will keep you down on the farm.” (Bruce Vilanch )

From the Back Cover

For seven years, Alison Arngrim played a wretched, scheming, selfish, lying, manipulative brat on one of TV history's most beloved series. Though millions of Little House on the Prairie viewers hated Nellie Oleson and her evil antics, Arngrim grew to love her character—and the freedom and confidence Nellie inspired in her.

In Confessions of a Prairie Bitch, Arngrim describes growing up in Hollywood with her eccentric parents: Thor Arngrim, a talent manager to Liberace and others, whose appetite for publicity was insatiable, and legendary voice actress Norma MacMillan, who played both Gumby and Casper the Friendly Ghost. She recalls her most cherished and often wickedly funny moments behind the scenes of Little House: Michael Landon's "unsaintly" habit of not wearing underwear; how she and Melissa Gilbert (who played her TV nemesis, Laura Ingalls) became best friends and accidentally got drunk on rum cakes at 7-Eleven; and the only time she and Katherine MacGregor (who played Nellie's mom) appeared in public in costume, provoking a posse of elementary schoolgirls to attack them.

Arngrim relays all this and more with biting wit, but she also bravely recounts her life's challenges: her struggle to survive a history of traumatic abuse, depression, and paralyzing shyness; the "secret" her father kept from her for twenty years; and the devastating loss of her "Little House husband" and best friend, Steve Tracy, to AIDS, which inspired her second career in social and political activism. Arngrim describes how Nellie Oleson taught her to be bold, daring, and determined, and how she is eternally grateful to have had the biggest little bitch on the prairie to show her the way.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 320 pages
• Publisher: It Books; Reprint edition (June 14, 2011)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0061962155
• ISBN-13: 978-0061962158
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.3 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (294 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #143,350 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

New York Times Best Selling author of "Confessions of A Prairie Bitch: How I Survived Nellie Oleson and Learned to Love Being Hated", Alison Arngrim is best known to viewers world-wide for her portrayal of the incredibly nasty "Nellie Oleson" on the much loved, long running hit television series "Little House On The Prairie," and continues to amuse audiences through her many film, television and stage appearances.

Her films include "For the Love of May" with Ru Paul and Patricia Neal, and "The Last Place On Earth" with Billy Dee Williams and Phyllis Diller, the French detective comedy, Jean Pierre Mocky's "Le Deal" and most recently, the hilarious Christmas comedy, "Make the Yuletide Gay".

In addition to her seven years on "Little House," Alison guested on such cult classics as: "The Love Boat," "Fantasy Island" and the NBC movie of the week, "I Married Wyatt Earp," starring Marie Osmond.

She mocked her own status as an "ex-child star" on Jay Leno's Tonight Show, during their month long parody, "Hollywood Survivor" and continues to be a frequent interview subject on everything from "A&E", "E! Entertainment", "TV Land" and "VH-1", to CNN and the Travel Channel. The TV Land network honored her undying image as TV' worst bitch, by declaring her the winner of their 2006 award for, "Character Most Desperately In Need Of A Time Out".

Alison's stage work includes, "Sirena: Queen of the Tango", "Butterflies Are Free," "Hidden In The Laughter", "Dear Brutus," "The Wool Gatherer," "Cry Of Players", the French bedroom farce, "In One Bed And Out The Other," Michael Kearns' "AIDS/US II," as well as the role of "Rita" in the 2005 GLAAD Award nominated production of "Last Summer At Bluefish Cove" and the abusive, trashy yet tragic "Ray Lee" in the Ovation Award Nominated musical-drama, "Flirting with Morty"

As a stand-up comedian, Alison has headlined at nightclubs such as the Laugh Factory, the Comedy Store and the Improv in Los Angeles; as well as the Laurie Beechman Theatre in New York and assorted comedy venues all across the United States and Canada.

Her one woman show "Confessions of a Prairie Bitch", which started at Club Fez in New York in 2002, has now become a world-wide phenomenon, having been performed to packed houses in New York, Los Angeles, Boston, Chicago, San Francisco, Seattle, Maui, P-Town, and across the entire nation of France, where Alison performs entirely in French to standing room only crowds in her all French version titled: "Confessions d'une Garce de La Prairie" which continues to receive multiple standing ovations.

In 1986 when her friend and "Little House husband" co-star, Steve Tracy, passed away due to complications of HIV/AIDS, Alison immediately began volunteering at AIDS Project Los Angeles. Her duties ranged from working on the Southern California AIDS Hotline and the APLA food bank, (APLA's Necessities of Life Program,) to chairing the steering committee of the volunteer speakers bureau and developing "Safer Sex" workshops. She has provided AIDS education to doctors, nurses, prison inmates, service clubs, churches, department stores and schools, written AIDS education articles for the magazines "Frontiers" and "Designers West", and spent seven years hosting the APLA educational cable television show, "AIDS Vision". In 1992, Joel Wachs presented Alison with a resolution by the Los Angeles City Council commending her on her work on behalf of people living with HIV and AIDS.

From 1989 through 1993 she served as Program Manager at Tuesday's Child, an organization assisting children and families affected by HIV and AIDS. From 1989 through 2003 she served as both hostess and producer for the comedy stage at the AIDS Project Los Angeles Annual Summer Party, (on the backlot of Universal Studios), where through an evening of raucous entertainment, featuring name comedians, she helped to raise hundreds of thousands of dollars for people living with HIV.

She currently serves as California Chair, National Spokesperson and Founding Board Member on the National Advisory Board of The National Association to Protect Children (www.PROTECT.org), fighting to give children a legal and political voice in the war against child abuse. As an activist for the improvement of child protection laws, she has spoken before the California Senate and worked on legislative and political campaigns in several states, including Virginia and New York, in addition to PROTECT's work on federal legislation in Washington, D.C.

She has appeared on numerous television news programs discussing the legal and political issues surrounding child abuse and molestation. She came forward to tell the world about the sexual abuse she suffered in her own life, during her 2004 interview on Larry King Live.

She continues to be interviewed on this and other topics on Nancy Grace, CNN's Showbiz Tonight, The Insider, Court TV and Bill O'Reilly's The Factor.

She takes pride in the fact that so many people enjoyed hating her as a girl and is more than happy to give them the opportunity to do so in the future.

For more info:
Website: http://www.hgd.com/alison/
French Website: http://www.alison-arngrim.com/
Facebook: www.facebook.com/alison.arngrim
Tumblr: http://alisonarngrim.tumblr.com/
Twitter: www.twitter.com/arngrim

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

264 of 275 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A delightfully honest, funny, poignant, joy to read! June 22, 2010

By Cosmic-Surf

Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase

As with many, I went through the list of 'Prairie' books as they were released. As a reader, I do not necessarily look to 'relate' to the author's life, because we are all clearly different, even though I have spent my life in the entertainment business and my work is still in it. What I do look for is the author's honesty in the details they do choose to share. I also like it if the author realizes that not all their readers have shared in their experiences. It is almost like wanting my doctor to talk to me in terms I can understand and relate, rather than in medical jargon. And even me having been in the business for most of my life, I can still read an actor's autobiography and go: "What in the world is he or she talking about?!"

First came Gilbert's 'Prairie Tale.' I liked the book, but the author failed to realize that her readers are, for the most part, completely removed from her reality. She relates to the reader as a 'peer,' failing to realize that they will mostly have little clue as to what it is like to be in her shoes (i.e. not everyone can run up to Montreal to find out what their boyfriends are up to). Many readers will also like to know what was it like 'being' in the Little House ambience. Gilbert goes through her Little House years rather fast, so if you blink, you may miss it. This is understandable, because she grew up there, so it became, for her, daily routine, but her audience may be wanting a bit more since this was not their routine, and may be hungry to know more. And it seemed that her book was more a therapeutic catharsis rather than sharing one on one with her readers. Again, understandably so, and the approach she chose, so I took it as that and went with it.

Then came Melissa Sue Anderson's book, which in my view was pretty much a waste of paper. She remains as aloof in her accounts as she was with her co-stars in her years working in 'Little House.' What Arngrim would later explain about Anderson in her own book is clearly what I perceived about her reading it. Cold, removed and basically "I am not going to tell you much about me, so do not bother me by asking."

Finally, after much waiting, came Alison's book. Since what I knew of her was that she was witty, honest, open and just totally delightful, I could not wait to read her accounts. Yes, unlike some people, I do not hold the actor accountable for what their character does! As soon as the book arrived, I started glancing through it and immediately realized this was going to be an even better ride than I expected! Having finished the book, I have to say that it was even more so. I did not want it to end! She is charming, funny and completely open. She holds little back. But what I liked most is that she talks to her readers not only as 'friends,' but also knowing that their experience is not like hers. Therefore, she makes it clear to understand and relate to. In doing this, the gap that could be there between her and her readers is eliminated and she comes across as a person, rather than a celebrity many cannot relate to. Now, Alison could have easily followed in Melissa Gilbert's path, since both her and Melissa G. were pretty much raised in the business, making it hard to see life from the outside, but she did not. This is an enormous credit to her, because it is not easy to do. What this means to me is that she can relate to the business 'outsiders' as with the 'insiders' and does not talk down to, but on equal terms. Clearly, she not only appreciates her fans, but also completely understands their curiosity and aims at placating it. To someone in the business, it becomes pretty much run of the mill what a set looks like, what the crew does and what others in the cast are like. They tend to disregard that fans may be craving to know every detail, because to the actor, it is a daily reality they have stopped being in awe of. Alison seems to understand this and speaks to her readers with the same awe they have. Her attitude is pretty much, "you and I are not much different, let me share about my life with you and how wonderful my Little House 'behind the scenes' years were." Alison also shares about her own child abuse, and does so handling a very delicate subject in quite a remarkable way. She is indeed quite a woman.

I have to add this as well: Alison's wit is phenomenal! There are times in reading her book in which she has you laughing so hard you literally start crying. Her matter of fact look at life in Hollywood, Simi Valley and the 1800's prairie is just hilarious.

If you are even a remotely interested fan of 'Little House on the Prairie,' you HAVE to get this book!

59 of 63 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars funny and unexpectedly touching June 16, 2010

By Margaret E. Powell

Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase

As a girl who grew up with Little House on the Prairie, I knew that I would enjoy this book. A Nellie Oleson tell all? I mean, who WOULDN'T want to read that!? And as a behind the scene look at the world of Little House, Prairie Bitch is detailed and funny, with wonderful descriptions of her costars. What I didn't realize when I pre-ordered it was Alison's work for survivors of sexual assault and her background as an assault survivor, along with the work she's done for years in support of people living with AIDS. She took what could have just been a breezy and funny childstar memoir and gave it deep substance and importance.

38 of 41 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars The Best Bitch in Town! June 17, 2010

By Corey A. Doyle VINE™ VOICE

Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase

While I watched Little House a few times as a kid, I didn't become a big fan until recently when I re-read the books from childhood and bought the boxed set when it was on sale at B&N. As a child, Nellie scared the daylights out of me - mostly because I was bullied a lot in school and she reminded me of those mean girls. As an adult, I kind of loved her brazen bitchy style. While she was annoying, she was pretty damn smart. I did like how she grew up though and was sad to see her leave the show (but was thrilled when she came back for visits).

Since I read "Prairie Tale" Amazon suggested that I may want to preorder Confessions of a Prairie Bitch... and I did, immediately. It sounded like a much more enjoyable read than the former book. While I liked Prairie Tale okay I didn't relate much to Melissa at all. I didn't grow up rich. I didn't have a seemingly great family. I didn't drink until I was 21. I never rebelled. So while her story was interesting to me, I couldn't really relate. It was also told in more of a dramatic sad fashion, than in the dark-humor fashion that I greatly prefer and understand.

I got Confessions the day it was release and it killed me to have to finish my book I was reading before I could delve into it (I'm anal like that). I kept looking at the cover just KNOWING a great story lied beneath it's pink pop art cover. While you can't always judge a book by its cover, this one is exactly what its cover depicts - sassy, spunky, edgy and hilarious.

While I didn't have a gay father, I had a similar abusive relationship with my older brother so from the early stages of this book I felt like Alison was a kindred spirit. It's rare to meet someone that has and appreciates dark humor and isn't weirded out by it. I'm also a Daddy's girl and am proud to this day when people tell me that I remind them of him in looks and wit. While I was never an actor (well unless you count the local theater!) I could really relate to a lot of Alison's stories and life. Even if I couldn't, I know that I would still enjoy this book so much more than the other prairie tales because it plays it real.

If you are looking for a backstory on some of the antics on the Little House set they are here in abundance. Alison tells the truth about everything and doesn't sugar coat a thing, including just what was beneath Charles' trousers and what Melissa Sue was really like. If you are just looking for a fun memoir to read, look no further. This book is a great read, even for the non-LHOP fan!

Beyond Little House, Alison delves into what became her life's work afterwards beyond her stand-up routine, her fight for AIDS rights and for [...]. I honestly had no idea such a law existed to protect relatives of abuse victims and am aghast that such a law even EXISTS in this time and day! I plan on signing up immediately and I hope that you do as well (especially after reading her novel).

The bottom line is that it's easy to take a life of sadness and heartache and turn it into a lifelong sorrow. I hear all too often "woe is me" and "life isn't fair" and yet most of these people complaining don't even know what unfair or true sadness is. The beauty of this book is that never once does Alison wax poetic about the crappy hand life dealt her, she chucks it up to a life lesson and something to grow from and moves along. Alison's wit and candor may not be your cup of tea, but you have to admit to admiring her brass set of balls and her positive outlook on life.

By far the best book I've read this year and one of the best memoirs ever. I hope to read more from Alison and that she makes a stop somewhere near the lonely state of Ohio on her tour!!