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Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman [Kindle Edition]

JB Lynn
4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (149 customer reviews)

Kindle Price: $3.99
Sold by: HarperCollins Publishers
This price was set by the publisher

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Book Description

Maggie Lee is not your average hitwoman. For one thing, she's never killed anyone. For another, after hitting her head in the car accident that killed her sister, her new best friend is a talking lizard—a picky eater, obsessed with Wheel of Fortune, that only Maggie can hear.

Maggie, who can barely take care of herself, is desperate to help her injured and orphaned niece get the best medical care possible, so she reluctantly accepts a mobster's lucrative job offer: major cash to kill his monstrous son-in-law.

Paired with Patrick Mulligan, a charming murder mentor (who happens to moonlight as a police detective), Maggie stumbles down her new career path, contending with self-doubt, three meddling aunts, a semi-psychic friend predicting her doom, and a day job she hates. Oh, and let's not forget about Paul Kowalski, the sexy beat cop who could throw her ass in jail if he finds out what she's up to.

Training has never been so complicated! And, this time, Maggie has to get the job done. Because if she doesn't . . . she's the mob's next target.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Besides being a writer, JB Lynn is a compulsive reader, a runner (of sorts), an enthusiastic cook (who doesn't get the appeal of the Food Network), and someone who has an irresistible urge to eavesdrop at all times.

JB has a great love of her husband, dogs, coffee, purple ink, spiral notebooks, running gear, hot showers, and '80s music. Given enough time, all of these things will eventually show up in her books.

Product Details

  • File Size: 710 KB
  • Print Length: 398 pages
  • Publisher: Avon Impulse (January 24, 2012)
  • Sold by: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B006IY9C2O
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #39,957 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
4.6 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
12 of 12 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Absolutely LOVED LOVED LOVED this one! January 26, 2012
By Molly
Format:Kindle Edition
Oh. My. Friggin'. Gosh. This was AWESOME! I had a bit of a mix up, and got to read this a little later than planned, but again I say. Oh My Friggin' Gosh! It was so worth the mix up to be able to jump into this and spend a night reading this novel in it's entirety. I just could NOT put down J.B. Lynn's awesomely hilarious, suspenseful, sexy novel.

Margaret May Lee. Aka a neurotic hitwoman. Who talks to lizards. Yup. I thought the same thing. But, let me tell you. It was FANTASTIC! This lady is one bad butted woman. Her character was so complex and intriguing, witty, sassy and comedic all rolled into one. I laughed at her comments, her thoughts, her vocals when she was having her convos with the lizard. Which, mind you is NOT the gecko from the TV commercial.

After tragically loosing her sister and brother in law in an accident that leaves her niece in a coma, Margaret accidentally bumps into a man in the hospital and nearly clobbers him to death with a chair when she seems him trying to kill a young, innocent child. That is one of the many incidents that will change her life forever. She meets a man who offers her a proposition. Along the way, she finds herself confiding in this not a gecko lizard and bumping into sex cops.

Holy moly, I better stop there. I do NOT want to give this story line away. I'll say this...grab a copy of this book NOW! You'll laugh, laugh, laugh your head off as you follow Maggie on her mission of making a little cash to pay the bills. Throw in the talking lizard, the sexy cop, the up and down suspenseful twists, and you've got yourself one heck of a 5 Book worthy novel. I can seriously see this turning into a series....hint hint, Ms. Lynn! Maggie Lee would definitely make an awesome person to make come back in other novels.

This review originated at Reviews By Molly in part with a blog tour.*This review is based on a complimentary copy which was provided for an honest review*
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9 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars LOVED IT January 24, 2012
By Dottie
Format:Kindle Edition
I loved this! I read it in a few hours! I'm not someone who usually buys into any sort of magic or make believe, but this was really engaging and funny! Maggie is a fantastic likeable heroine, and Godzilla (a.k.a GOD, a talking lizard) is hysterical.

I usually stick to contemporary commercial fiction because I, personally, rarely believe fantasy, but I'd read JB Lynn's "FIRST VICTIM" and loved it, so I figured I'd give this a shot! I TOTALLY bought it. Maggie finds herself in an impossible situation for all the right reasons, and I was really moved by her struggle; feeling stuck but having no real choice but to protect her niece.

Overall, it reminded of a quirkier, funnier Janet Evanovich. If you like the Stephanie Plum series, but want something new- definitely pick this up!
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Fast and Fun Read January 29, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition
JB outdid herself with this one. The characters she wrote are real and fun and vulnerable and gutsy. The main character - Maggie - is someone I'd want to hang out with even if she is 'remarkably unremarkable'. Patrick - her hitman mentor/hot cop - could buy me a beer any day. And Godzilla is a lizard I'd love to have around, even if I'm not a lizard lovin' person. I can't wait to see what JB has in store for us next.

Because there has to be a sequel. Or I might have to join Maggie in becoming a slightly neurotic hitwoman.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Don't let the hit woman thing turn you off!! August 8, 2014
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I really liked this book. I have been avoiding this series based on principle because it is about a hit woman. I just couldn't wrap my brain around the concept of liking a woman who murders people for a living. But I read some reviews and decided to give it a shot-it's always coming up at the bottom of the amazon page about other books that are similar to the ones I purchase. So Maggie is a very lovable character-she is so damaged and has experienced so much loss your heart just goes out to her. She doesn't set out to be a hit woman and she isn't trying to be some badass, she is just trying to earn some extra cash to help care for her niece who is in a coma as a result of a car accident that killed her parents. She isn't out to just whack "innocent" people. She's trying to take out a man who threw his son down a flight of stairs and is all around mean scumbag. Then she is inadvertently put into a position of needing to take out another hit man who is trying to hurt her and her family. I am not sure how this is going to be dealt with in future books cause I don't really condone what she's doing but at the same time, it's not much different than military operations that take our terrorists-these guys have hurt a lot of people kind of got what they had coming to them. The story line is great-the talking lizard is actually pretty funny. I thought that was going to be a turn off too, but its actually pretty funny. I like the way her attraction to some hunky guys are portrayed-it's not head over heels love at first site type of relationship. I was glad that she didn't just jump right into bed with Paul-she was going to and the interruption was a downer, but in the end it was for the best. And she continued to keep her wits about her and didn't go all sappy and lovestruck over him. Read more ›
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars I thought everyone talked to animals July 8, 2014
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Personally, I also talk to lamps, and I'm not nuts either. It's particularly helpful when they respond. Ah, but I don't kill people. Pretty fun story. Who knew a hit woman hero could be so engaging.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars I like it.
Hilarious. Needs more action. Please me Patrick is bit really married and that Maggie will turn to be a bad ass!!
Published 16 days ago by Peaceloveandpat
4.0 out of 5 stars Just what I was looking for
I was looking for something light and funny to fill the void left by the lack of new Kyra Davis Sophie Katz books. Read more
Published 24 days ago by nitah
5.0 out of 5 stars Entertaining and hilarious
This book had me laughing all way through. What a great story and can't wait to read next book in this series. Maggie a unique character. Love chemistry with her and Patrick. Read more
Published 26 days ago by lulu Bak
3.0 out of 5 stars Ok for an easy read - nothing special
This was an easy weekend afternoon read. I bought it as the primary character had been compared to "Stephanie Plum" but she was NOT. Read more
Published 29 days ago by Gloria E. Tripp
3.0 out of 5 stars Three Stars
An enjoyable read, an amusing voice. I'll read the next in the series.
Published 29 days ago by the2masks
4.0 out of 5 stars i especially enjoyed the conversations with her lizard
Humorous well written. It's a quick read.i especially enjoyed the conversations with her lizard.
Published 1 month ago by Kathleen pape
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
love the book
Published 2 months ago by thomas l shuler
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Fun!
I absolutely adored this book. It is full of laughs, and also some suspense! It's great fun and I'm already reading the next book in the series!
Published 2 months ago by melissa
4.0 out of 5 stars Maggie is Indeed Neurotic
I love Maggie, in some ways she reminds me of myself, I think. I'm interested in seeing what happens next, and what about Armani?
Published 2 months ago by Kindle Customer
4.0 out of 5 stars Four Stars
Quirky and fun! Highly recommended!
Published 2 months ago by Julie Chiles
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More About the Author

When a fan told her that she's a "fabulous author", a "great sport", and a "very cool chick", JB Lynn immediately thought, "that's what I want my obituary to say!".

A Jersey Girl transplanted to the Sunshine State, JB (you can call her Jen) writes laugh-out-loud suspense and mysteries, along with goosebump-raising thrillers.

She also guzzles coffee, spoils her dog, wastes endless hours daydreaming, and does her best to be a "cool chick" (but if you ever see her running, swimming, or biking, you'll know how dismally she fails).

Find out more about JB and her books at


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