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Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman [Kindle Edition]

JB Lynn
4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (98 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $7.99
Kindle Price: $3.79
You Save: $4.20 (53%)
Sold by: HarperCollins Publishers

If you buy a new print edition of this book (or purchased one in the past), you can buy the Kindle edition for only $1.99 (Save 47%). Print edition purchase must be sold by Amazon. Learn more.


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Kindle Edition $3.79  
Mass Market Paperback $7.19  
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Book Description

Maggie Lee is not your average hitwoman. For one thing, she's never killed anyone. For another, after hitting her head in the car accident that killed her sister, her new best friend is a talking lizard—a picky eater, obsessed with Wheel of Fortune, that only Maggie can hear.

Maggie, who can barely take care of herself, is desperate to help her injured and orphaned niece get the best medical care possible, so she reluctantly accepts a mobster's lucrative job offer: major cash to kill his monstrous son-in-law.

Paired with Patrick Mulligan, a charming murder mentor (who happens to moonlight as a police detective), Maggie stumbles down her new career path, contending with self-doubt, three meddling aunts, a semi-psychic friend predicting her doom, and a day job she hates. Oh, and let's not forget about Paul Kowalski, the sexy beat cop who could throw her ass in jail if he finds out what she's up to.

Training has never been so complicated! And, this time, Maggie has to get the job done. Because if she doesn't . . . she's the mob's next target.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Besides being a writer, JB Lynn is a compulsive reader, a runner (of sorts), an enthusiastic cook (who doesn't get the appeal of the Food Network), and someone who has an irresistible urge to eavesdrop at all times.

JB has a great love of her husband, dogs, coffee, purple ink, spiral notebooks, running gear, hot showers, and '80s music. Given enough time, all of these things will eventually show up in her books.

Product Details

  • File Size: 509 KB
  • Print Length: 400 pages
  • Publisher: Avon Impulse (January 24, 2012)
  • Sold by: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B006IY9C2O
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #10,188 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Absolutely LOVED LOVED LOVED this one! January 26, 2012
By Molly
Format:Kindle Edition
Oh. My. Friggin'. Gosh. This was AWESOME! I had a bit of a mix up, and got to read this a little later than planned, but again I say. Oh My Friggin' Gosh! It was so worth the mix up to be able to jump into this and spend a night reading this novel in it's entirety. I just could NOT put down J.B. Lynn's awesomely hilarious, suspenseful, sexy novel.

Margaret May Lee. Aka a neurotic hitwoman. Who talks to lizards. Yup. I thought the same thing. But, let me tell you. It was FANTASTIC! This lady is one bad butted woman. Her character was so complex and intriguing, witty, sassy and comedic all rolled into one. I laughed at her comments, her thoughts, her vocals when she was having her convos with the lizard. Which, mind you is NOT the gecko from the TV commercial.

After tragically loosing her sister and brother in law in an accident that leaves her niece in a coma, Margaret accidentally bumps into a man in the hospital and nearly clobbers him to death with a chair when she seems him trying to kill a young, innocent child. That is one of the many incidents that will change her life forever. She meets a man who offers her a proposition. Along the way, she finds herself confiding in this not a gecko lizard and bumping into sex cops.

Holy moly, I better stop there. I do NOT want to give this story line away. I'll say this...grab a copy of this book NOW! You'll laugh, laugh, laugh your head off as you follow Maggie on her mission of making a little cash to pay the bills. Throw in the talking lizard, the sexy cop, the up and down suspenseful twists, and you've got yourself one heck of a 5 Book worthy novel. I can seriously see this turning into a series....hint hint, Ms. Lynn! Maggie Lee would definitely make an awesome person to make come back in other novels.

This review originated at Reviews By Molly in part with a blog tour.*This review is based on a complimentary copy which was provided for an honest review*
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8 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars LOVED IT January 24, 2012
By Elise
Format:Kindle Edition
I loved this! I read it in a few hours! I'm not someone who usually buys into any sort of magic or make believe, but this was really engaging and funny! Maggie is a fantastic likeable heroine, and Godzilla (a.k.a GOD, a talking lizard) is hysterical.

I usually stick to contemporary commercial fiction because I, personally, rarely believe fantasy, but I'd read JB Lynn's "FIRST VICTIM" and loved it, so I figured I'd give this a shot! I TOTALLY bought it. Maggie finds herself in an impossible situation for all the right reasons, and I was really moved by her struggle; feeling stuck but having no real choice but to protect her niece.

Overall, it reminded of a quirkier, funnier Janet Evanovich. If you like the Stephanie Plum series, but want something new- definitely pick this up!
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Fast and Fun Read January 29, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition
JB outdid herself with this one. The characters she wrote are real and fun and vulnerable and gutsy. The main character - Maggie - is someone I'd want to hang out with even if she is 'remarkably unremarkable'. Patrick - her hitman mentor/hot cop - could buy me a beer any day. And Godzilla is a lizard I'd love to have around, even if I'm not a lizard lovin' person. I can't wait to see what JB has in store for us next.

Because there has to be a sequel. Or I might have to join Maggie in becoming a slightly neurotic hitwoman.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Smiles June 5, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
JB Lynn has a wonderful writing style and fabulous imagination. I smiled throughout the entire book just conjuring up the pictures the words inspired. A must read.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Move Over Stephanie March 14, 2014
By BKLvr
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This was a fun romp with an accidental hitwoman. Who would have thought that was possible? This was my first read by this author but if she can keep this going, she'll be real competition for Janet Evanovich. While this book was not as Laugh out loud funny as the Stephanie Plum series, Maggie is every bit as likeable, quirky and incompetent as Stephanie. Her supporting characters, the three witches, her new employer, her fellow hitman, are all so much fun and super crazy. I'll definitely read another in this series. Nice for Stephanie to have such stellar company to fill this niche.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Screwball comedy with a cynical edge January 26, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition
Veering from wildly funny to desperately sad, Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman is an entertaining dark comedy caper.

Maggie Lee survives the car accident that kills her sister and brother in law, leaving her niece, Katie, comatose. Maggie's parents are no help, her father is doing time for murder and her mother is in a psychiatric hospital. Maggie hasn't seen her sister in years and her three aunts are their own special type of crazy. A chance encounter with a hitman in the hospital brings Maggie to the attention of a mob boss who makes an unusual proposition. With a little help from God (not THE God), a killer cop and a psychic colleague Maggie just might be able to pay Katie's hospital bills, if she can become a killer.

As bitter and cynical Maggie is, her quick wit and devotion to her niece renders her likeable. Her background is messy and rife with tragedy so it's no wonder Maggie is able to embrace the unconventional. The leap from call center agent to hitwoman is a big one but somehow the author convinces us that her motivation is plausible.
Maggie's mentor, Patrick, is a mysterious figure whose reasons for helping Maggie are murky. I'm not sure I really like him but he is an intriguing character.
The most irresistible character is Godzilla, aka God, Katie's pet lizard now in Maggie's care. Maggie isn't sure if she is going as crazy as her mother or not as the lizard starts talking to her. Smart mouthed, opinionated and endearing, God makes for a hilarious sidekick.

The plot is cohesive even though it requires the reader to suspend belief. Between talking lizards, stoned aunts, hot police officers and a blackmailing hitman the story teeters on the edge of absurdity but is tempered by the darker elements of the story. Combining crazy characters and screwball comedy with a cynical edge, Confessions of a Neurotic Hitwoman is an enjoyable romp and a great start to a new series.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Enjoyable Read
The first book in series was an enjoyable and fast paced book. Read entire book within 24 hours and then purchased the rest of books in series. Loved the characters.
Published 6 days ago by Andrea0908
5.0 out of 5 stars Love love love this series!!!!
One of the most fun books that I have read in a long time. JB Lynn is an amazing writer and I look forward to the next book in the series.
Published 6 days ago by Marcia Roeder
5.0 out of 5 stars Fun light read
Quirky light reading, perfect for someone who doesn't have the time or attention span for a heavy story. I look forward to reading more in the series.
Published 10 days ago by Rebecca A. Schlanert
5.0 out of 5 stars Thoroughly enjoyed this book.
This is the first book I have read of JB Lynn. I couldn't put it down. Will be buying the next one right away.
Published 13 days ago by Kindle Maniac
4.0 out of 5 stars An Amusing Train Wreck
Who knew a professional "hit person" could be such a disorganized mess? The main character, Maggie, was in a serious accident and when she awakens in the hospital, she... Read more
Published 16 days ago by JustMe900
5.0 out of 5 stars What a great start
What an enjoyable find this was. Maggie is a simple person who has led quite an un-extraordinary dad, albeit with a criminal father and insane mother. Read more
Published 20 days ago by D. T. Haddrill
4.0 out of 5 stars READ AND ENJOY
Published 20 days ago by T. M. Krentz
5.0 out of 5 stars Janet Evanovich to the third power! Like Lays potato chips, you won't...
If you enjoy Janet Evanovoich, you will LOVE this writer. Funny, yet thrilling. You won't be able to put each one of them down.
Published 21 days ago by Mary E. Gallagher
5.0 out of 5 stars Maggie is Fun to read about
Love the story. Writer is funny. I'm glad JB Lynn's friends convinced her to write these books. There were quite a few grammatical errors and missing words but that's just due to... Read more
Published 29 days ago by Linda
5.0 out of 5 stars plot that kept me turning the page
I read the description of the book and thought it sounded like a good read. Very enjoyable and will continue to read more in the series.
Published 1 month ago by Nannette Lombard
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More About the Author

When a fan told her that she's a "fabulous author", a "great sport", and a "very cool chick", JB Lynn immediately thought, "that's what I want my obituary to say!".

A Jersey Girl transplanted to the Sunshine State, JB (you can call her Jen) writes laugh-out-loud suspense and mysteries, along with goosebump-raising thrillers.

She also guzzles coffee, spoils her dog, wastes endless hours daydreaming, and does her best to be a "cool chick" (but if you ever see her running, swimming, or biking, you'll know how dismally she fails).

Find out more about JB and her books at


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