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Confessions of Super Mom [Hardcover]

Melanie Lynne Hauser (Author)
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (23 customer reviews)


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Book Description

August 18, 2005
“Every superhero has an Origin. To tell the truth, it’s a little embarrassing. I wasn’t put into a rocket and sent to Earth by my parents just as my home planet exploded. I wasn’t given a special ring by visiting aliens. I wasn’t bitten by a radioactive spider. No, it wasn’t anything nearly so glamorous; my beginnings are quite humble. I was merely the innocent victim of a Horrible Swiffer Accident.”

Meet Birdie Lee, clerk at Marvel Fine Food and Beverages and an average, middle-aged single mother of two teenagers. Until one ordinary morning when, on the floor of her bathroom, Birdie discovers a Stain of Unknown Origin—a stain so intense that nothing can remove it. When all her attempts fail, Birdie does the unthinkable: She loads her Swiffer with every cleanser she owns, aims, and shoots. Suddenly, Birdie becomes endowed with extraordinary powers. Now Birdie must somehow balance it all—her smug ex and his overachieving new wife; two teenagers and a string of PTA meetings; her own budding romance; and her beloved town of Astro Park, whose very existence is threatened by a mysterious force sneaking its way into every household. A delightful, well-earned escape, Confessions of Super Mom is an amusing vindication of the overlooked everyday heroism that is a woman’s life.

Praise for Confessions of Super Mom by Melanie Lynne Hauser

Confessions of Super Mom is a delightful read. Smart, zany, and touching, it is the perfect remedy for overwhelmed mothers everywhere.”
—Karen Quinn, author of The Ivy Chronicles

“Forget the laundry, forget the dishes. Escape into the world of Super Mom for a few hours... you’ll be glad you did. Melanie Lynne Hauser’s quirky characters sparkle brightly as a newly Swiffered floor, and her writing shines like freshly polished glass.”
—Meg Cabot, author of the Princess Diaries and Every Boy’s Got One

“Never has there been a more appealingly down-to-earth heroine or a superhero with more enviable powers. Moms everywhere will wish they could be like the Super Mom of Melanie Lynne Hauser’s charming, funny, and heartfelt novel... and will ultimately realize they already are.”
—Pamela Redmond Satran, author of Babes in Captivity

“Forget the speeding bullets, locomotives, and tall buildings—with wit, humor, and some sage motherly advice, Melanie Lynne Hauser’s Super Mom finally gives readers a true hero for our time.”
—Jennifer O'Connell, author of Dress Rehearsal and Bachelorette #1

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Like its title character, this debut novel has a secret identity: while it appears too adorable at first, and too typical, it's unexpectedly poignant and packs an emotional punch despite the cheery veneer. Birdie Lee is a divorced, mild-mannered single mother of two who's proud of how she's raised her kids. She's a grocery store cashier with an obnoxious ex and an extensive knowledge of cleaning products, who's looked down upon by the town's über-parents, Patty and Lex Osborne, beloved producers of patriotic snack foods. But when Birdie passes out after mixing incompatible cleaning solvents, she develops a scrubby-yet-soft right palm and the uncontrollable urge and ability to clean filthy bathrooms in a single swipe. Suddenly Super Mom, Birdie realizes that not only can she prevent underage drinking and improper car-seat use but that the Osbornes are plotting to control children subliminally through marketing and use them as guinea pigs. The cuteness cup runneth over now and then, but at the heart of this story is a narrative about a lonely, wronged woman who just wants to do right by her children and stand up to an uncontrollable world. Hauser slips in soliloquies on motherhood and womanhood that, though brief, are moving, showing us Birdie Lee's heart and in that, the wishes and dreams of super moms everywhere. (Sept.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist

Ever since her divorce, Birdie Lee has been trying to do it all. She is a grocery-store cashier who does her best to be a good mom to teenagers Martin, a lovable geek, and Kelly, who finds her mother terribly embarrassing. One morning, after the kids have gone to school, Birdie goes after a stubborn stain in the bathroom. An ill-advised mixture of all the cleaning products in the house knocks her out cold; on waking, Birdie possesses miraculous cleaning powers and an uncanny ability to anticipate when children are in danger. After her initial shock, Birdie revels in her newfound power and sets about protecting kids everywhere. Meanwhile, she realizes that the company behind the popular Patriot Pops cereal, New Cosmos Industries, run by self-made millionaires Lex and Patty Osborne, is not quite the innocent, all-American, family-values operation it purports to be. Super Mom has found her archnemesis. This silly but fun twist on the superhero tale comes packaged with a socially responsible message about consumerism, but it doesn't get in the way of the high jinks. Beth Leistensnider
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

Product Details

  • Reading level: Ages 14 and up
  • Hardcover: 320 pages
  • Publisher: Dutton Adult (August 18, 2005)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0525949100
  • ISBN-13: 978-0525949107
  • Product Dimensions: 9 x 6.1 x 1.1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (23 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,817,930 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Hailing from the Hoosier state (where I grew up in the shadow of the Indianapolis 500 racetrack), I'm a late bloomer who is just now figuring out what I want to be when I grow up. Having tried my hand at telemarketing, candy striping for a nursing home and acting under my maiden name, Melanie Miller (Most Academy Award-Worthy Performance: The title role, complete with bear costume, in the gut-wrenching exploration of good touch/bad touch entitled "What's the Matter, Little Bear?"), I put everything on hold in order to marry, have two children, and spend my time making sure they didn't stick their fingers in electrical sockets. (Both the husband, and the children.) I put in a brave couple of years with the PTA, driving my sons to soccer practices, track meets and orthodontist appointments. In short, I was in training to become Super Mom.

At an age when many women throw themselves back into their careers after raising their children, I looked around and realized I never had one in the first place. So I turned to the one thing I did know: Books. So I wrote one. It stank. I buried it out in my backyard, next to the compost heap. I wrote another book. It didn't stink quite so much; still, nobody wanted to publish it. I wrote another book. It stank the least of all, and led to my current, wonderful literary agent, but still it went unpublished. Then I wrote CONFESSIONS OF SUPER MOM. So far, nobody has said that it stinks. In fact, so many people like it that I wrote the sequel, to be published in 2007. And finally, at long last, I have a career. (And old men in nursing homes everywhere breathe a huge sigh of relief.)

 

Customer Reviews

23 Reviews
5 star:
 (15)
4 star:
 (6)
3 star:
 (1)
2 star:    (0)
1 star:
 (1)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
4.5 out of 5 stars (23 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Fun and original, November 28, 2007
By 
Tanya (Chandler, AZ USA) - See all my reviews
I really enjoyed this book. It was funny, adventurous and definitely original. With all of the same old, same old out there it's great to find something that isn't completely predictable. A good light read that didn't disappoint!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Great Lazy Afternoon Escape, July 27, 2006
By 
templedelasol "leigh32" (Southern California, USA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Confessions of Super Mom (Hardcover)
Loved this book - a real guilty pleasure. Deep? No. The plot is formulaic, but the way she twists the details made me continually curious as to how she would play with this formula. I'm a mom and a sci-fi fan- a great book for fantasy loving moms. Also, I could relate to her deep concern for children and wanting to make the world a better place. I share the fantasy. Highly recommended beach read.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars Fun to read, March 9, 2006
This review is from: Confessions of Super Mom (Hardcover)
This was a really fun book to read. I'm glad that a friend of mine suggested it to me. The characters were easy to relate too and it was well written.
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Inside This Book (learn more)
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
dented minivan, total asswipe, cartooning club, super mom, trusty sidekick, nice tonight, daring young man
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Doctor Dan, Patriot Pops, New Cosmos, Astro Park, Pied Piper, Wonder Woman, National Enquirer, Birdie Lee, Lex Osborne, Moulton Pharmaceuticals, Carl Sayers, Jamie Flugal, League of America, Merciless Gaze, Patty Osborne, Teacher Association, Hawthorne School District Parent, Peeping Tom, Peter Parker, Adam West, Horrible Swiffer Accident, Jimmy Nelson, Police Commissioner Borden, Doesn't Birdie, Super Time Out
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