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455 of 513 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Look Just a Little Bit Harder Beneath the Surface..., July 12, 2005
This review is from: Confessions of a Video Vixen (Hardcover)
This book was very straightforward and well-written. Karrine's story is very true-to-life and frightening, but not for the reasons that you might think...
After I read the book, I realized that I've read about "Karrine" before. Her face and individual details of her life may vary from others, but her background is the same as many top porn stars. It's all there: the extreme neglect of her parents, violent beatings, rape, abuse and mental cruelty. All done to her before the age of 16. Jenna Jameson (#1 porn star) has a similar background and biography.
Look a bit deeper at this book (forget about all the glamour and the videos and hip-hop stars for a second). What do we learn here? We learn that if families and friends devalue and abuse young girls and cause them to hate themselves and their own bodies, you can virtually guarantee a future stripper, hooker, or porn star. Why? Because she's been taught all her life that she's stupid, she's unlovable, and she's a waste, except for her mouth and the private part between her legs. It shouldn't surprise anyone that she uses it to get things in life.
Karrine didn't create herself - the people and systems that allow girls to get abused and abandoned (her mother beat her - her Dad wasn't there for her) created her and the other women like her. She doesn't deserve our scorn, she needs counseling, support, and love. There but by the grace of God...who's to say that any of us women wouldn't have been in her shoes given the same circumstances.
This is not to say that Karrine always made the right decisions. She abandoned her son with her abusive husband, and she got hooked on alcohol and designer drugs. She used people, and she allowed herself to be used repeatedly. Women who are devalued tend to develop a "warped" irrational way of thinking.
From reading this book, you kind of understand that Karrine will never really get out of the game. She's too far engulfed in it. Behavioral science has already proven that there are only three things that spur you to change your life dramatically in a short period of time: a near death experience, extreme illness, or a deep religious experience. (For example, Vanity, a sex kitten from the 1980's and Prince protegee' did not change her ways until her drug habit nearly caused her death and she lost her kidneys - now she is a married born-again Christian). Barring any of that, I expect that Karrine will continue her sexpot ways. After all, it's gotten her this far.
All that being said - this is a cautionary tale. It is OUR caution that we should protect, love, and nurture our young girls. Otherwise, we can expect to churn out many more Karrine's in the world.
And another thing - this book points out that it takes two to tango. Sure, it was wrong for Karrine to put herself out there in such a scandalous manner. But it's also equally as sick and demented for men to "trade" and prey on damaged and defective young ladies.
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138 of 153 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
Fascinating yet sad, July 6, 2005
This review is from: Confessions of a Video Vixen (Hardcover)
Although this is a tell-all book, something that some of the readers may find appalling, there are important lessons to be learned from Confessions of a Video Vixen. I believe that there will be a few aspects of Karrine's story that are relatable: many women have low self-esteem, many seek to be loved and feel valuable. Unfortunately, based on the writer's childhood and family environment, she wasn't provided with a stable and loving upbringing. She sought acceptance through sexual relationships and she has no self-respect, both of which contributed to her downfall.
Because of her unfortunate foundations, it is sad and fascinating to see the path she traveled that led her to experience so many unfulfilling and sometimes dangerous sexual relationships with men in the entertainment and sports industries. I believe that Hollywood paints such a false and misleading picture of success - the more money you earn, the more material things you acquire, and the more you associate with the so-called in-crowd, the more valuable you are. Unfortunately, this is far from the truth and the book serves as a good wake-up call.
Although Ms. Steffans went through much pain and heartache, maybe her story can be a harsh reminder that self-esteem cannot be based on the acceptance of others - people can let you down - and your true value isn't based on the false security of materialism, things come and go.
This book should be read by young women who believe that being a video ho is something to be proud of. This book will show you the downside of the industry that isn't often publicized -- and if some young lady's life can be altered - perhaps Karrine's story is worth telling, even if everyone doesn't agree with how she's telling it.
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23 of 25 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Don't kill the messenger ..., January 6, 2006
This review is from: Confessions of a Video Vixen (Hardcover)
I read this book at a bookstore in about 2 hours two months ago & it was an engaging page turner.
Like most, I was just a bit curious after getting just tidbits of her personal story during various media promotions.
Readers will interpret this book one of two ways ... A) Take all of her sordid tales for what they're worth with moments of awe, compassion and skepticism while ultimately gaining a broader appreciation for the "real world" out there OR B) Angrily criticize her every move and judgment as she discloses chilling, deeply personal acts that don't always paint her in any better light than the beaus she bedded.
I for one fell in category A.
I don't by any means approve of much of the lifestyle she lived as an adult, but it's really not for me to judge.
I will admit just reading through names of her patnaz and lots of unflattering intimate deatils of cats like Usher, Diddy, Ice T, Shaq, Brandy's brother (yes, Brandy's lil bro), Dr. Dre, Xzibit, DMX, Ja Rule, Merlin Santana and Kool G. Rap ... (the list goes on) makes for that "driving by an accident and trying not to look, but ultimately giving in" effect. Juicy, juicy details are what I've been discussing with family and friends ever since.
But don't get it twisted and miss the big picture. This really is a cautionary tale more than trashy (bad) romance novel in scope.
Ms. Steffans was raped as a teen, physically abused by her mother and had an absent father for most of her young life. That background couldn't be different from my cushy, sweet as pie childhood by comparison AND BECAUSE of this I think it's important to try to relate to her experiences humbly without casting judgment over the decisions she made in adulthood.
A lack of rushing to judgment doesn't mean you co-sign as I see it.
If Wilt Chamberlain, Dennis Rodman and countless other high profile celebrities can write books like this -- and be praised -- I don't see how soooo many can react so angrily to Ms. Steffans, especially when she speaks the truth.
Again, a lot of the decisions she made in the book were appalling by my standards.
But this is a good read if for no other reason than getting people to understand society's own ills when it comes to how it breaks down, degrades and even destroys women (in effect creating the "Gold Diggers" Kanye raps about).
That's the truly shocking discovery to me.
She might've gained financially by name-dropping so many high profile stars who are living just as foul and don't deserve pity.
But, again, having read this book, I can honestly say Ms. Steffans' name-dropping just gives her story the kind of bite to make people see the true-life ills of our society as is.
Like most rappers, you can't hate on her for painting a picture of what's before her eyes.
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