Customer Reviews

Confessions of a Video Vixen

5 star:		(100)
4 star:		(126)
3 star:		(137)
2 star:		(71)
1 star:		(84)

 

 

This book was very straightforward and well-written. Karrine's story is very true-to-life and frightening, but not for the reasons that you might think...

After I read the book, I realized that I've read about "Karrine" before. Her face and individual details of her life may vary from others, but her background is the same as many top porn stars. It's all there: the extreme neglect of her parents, violent beatings, rape, abuse and mental cruelty. All done to her before the age of 16. Jenna Jameson (#1 porn star) has a similar background and biography.

Look a bit deeper at this book (forget about all the glamour and the videos and hip-hop stars for a second). What do we learn here? We learn that if families and friends devalue and abuse young girls and cause them to hate themselves and their own bodies, you can virtually guarantee a future stripper, hooker, or porn star. Why? Because she's been taught all her life that she's stupid, she's unlovable, and she's a waste, except for her mouth and the private part between her legs. It shouldn't surprise anyone that she uses it to get things in life.

Karrine didn't create herself - the people and systems that allow girls to get abused and abandoned (her mother beat her - her Dad wasn't there for her) created her and the other women like her. She doesn't deserve our scorn, she needs counseling, support, and love. There but by the grace of God...who's to say that any of us women wouldn't have been in her shoes given the same circumstances.

This is not to say that Karrine always made the right decisions. She abandoned her son with her abusive husband, and she got hooked on alcohol and designer drugs. She used people, and she allowed herself to be used repeatedly. Women who are devalued tend to develop a "warped" irrational way of thinking.

From reading this book, you kind of understand that Karrine will never really get out of the game. She's too far engulfed in it. Behavioral science has already proven that there are only three things that spur you to change your life dramatically in a short period of time: a near death experience, extreme illness, or a deep religious experience. (For example, Vanity, a sex kitten from the 1980's and Prince protegee' did not change her ways until her drug habit nearly caused her death and she lost her kidneys - now she is a married born-again Christian). Barring any of that, I expect that Karrine will continue her sexpot ways. After all, it's gotten her this far.

All that being said - this is a cautionary tale. It is OUR caution that we should protect, love, and nurture our young girls. Otherwise, we can expect to churn out many more Karrine's in the world.

And another thing - this book points out that it takes two to tango. Sure, it was wrong for Karrine to put herself out there in such a scandalous manner. But it's also equally as sick and demented for men to "trade" and prey on damaged and defective young ladies.

Although this is a tell-all book, something that some of the readers may find appalling, there are important lessons to be learned from Confessions of a Video Vixen. I believe that there will be a few aspects of Karrine's story that are relatable: many women have low self-esteem, many seek to be loved and feel valuable. Unfortunately, based on the writer's childhood and family environment, she wasn't provided with a stable and loving upbringing. She sought acceptance through sexual relationships and she has no self-respect, both of which contributed to her downfall.

Because of her unfortunate foundations, it is sad and fascinating to see the path she traveled that led her to experience so many unfulfilling and sometimes dangerous sexual relationships with men in the entertainment and sports industries. I believe that Hollywood paints such a false and misleading picture of success - the more money you earn, the more material things you acquire, and the more you associate with the so-called in-crowd, the more valuable you are. Unfortunately, this is far from the truth and the book serves as a good wake-up call.

Although Ms. Steffans went through much pain and heartache, maybe her story can be a harsh reminder that self-esteem cannot be based on the acceptance of others - people can let you down - and your true value isn't based on the false security of materialism, things come and go.

This book should be read by young women who believe that being a video ho is something to be proud of. This book will show you the downside of the industry that isn't often publicized -- and if some young lady's life can be altered - perhaps Karrine's story is worth telling, even if everyone doesn't agree with how she's telling it.

I read this book at a bookstore in about 2 hours two months ago & it was an engaging page turner.

Like most, I was just a bit curious after getting just tidbits of her personal story during various media promotions.

Readers will interpret this book one of two ways ... A) Take all of her sordid tales for what they're worth with moments of awe, compassion and skepticism while ultimately gaining a broader appreciation for the "real world" out there OR B) Angrily criticize her every move and judgment as she discloses chilling, deeply personal acts that don't always paint her in any better light than the beaus she bedded.

I for one fell in category A.

I don't by any means approve of much of the lifestyle she lived as an adult, but it's really not for me to judge.

I will admit just reading through names of her patnaz and lots of unflattering intimate deatils of cats like Usher, Diddy, Ice T, Shaq, Brandy's brother (yes, Brandy's lil bro), Dr. Dre, Xzibit, DMX, Ja Rule, Merlin Santana and Kool G. Rap ... (the list goes on) makes for that "driving by an accident and trying not to look, but ultimately giving in" effect. Juicy, juicy details are what I've been discussing with family and friends ever since.

But don't get it twisted and miss the big picture. This really is a cautionary tale more than trashy (bad) romance novel in scope.

Ms. Steffans was raped as a teen, physically abused by her mother and had an absent father for most of her young life. That background couldn't be different from my cushy, sweet as pie childhood by comparison AND BECAUSE of this I think it's important to try to relate to her experiences humbly without casting judgment over the decisions she made in adulthood.

A lack of rushing to judgment doesn't mean you co-sign as I see it.

If Wilt Chamberlain, Dennis Rodman and countless other high profile celebrities can write books like this -- and be praised -- I don't see how soooo many can react so angrily to Ms. Steffans, especially when she speaks the truth.

Again, a lot of the decisions she made in the book were appalling by my standards.

But this is a good read if for no other reason than getting people to understand society's own ills when it comes to how it breaks down, degrades and even destroys women (in effect creating the "Gold Diggers" Kanye raps about).

That's the truly shocking discovery to me.

She might've gained financially by name-dropping so many high profile stars who are living just as foul and don't deserve pity.

But, again, having read this book, I can honestly say Ms. Steffans' name-dropping just gives her story the kind of bite to make people see the true-life ills of our society as is.

Like most rappers, you can't hate on her for painting a picture of what's before her eyes.

This "tell-all" made me cringe. I found her book at the local library, prominently displayed in the new releases. Surely Karrine is someone that the average teenage girl should aspire to follow. Can I be "Superhead" too? What a terrific role model for young teenage hip hop fans.
Any elements of a "cautionary tale" seem lacking here; every page except for those in the hasty, insincere epilogue drips with pride in her self-destructive behavior.
I can't imagine the effects of her life on her poor son.
And listen to her tone about Ice T, who has briefly escaped his longtime girlfriend and young son for a brief tryst with her by telling them he "was going to the bank of something"--this on Christmas morning, no less:
"He operated in his own space and time. No one made Ice do anything he didn't want to do."
Karrine oozes with respect for these foul celebrities who so willingly cheat on their wives and girlfriends (and leave their children) for a bit of her famous fellatio.
Will more males earn Karrine's respect by lying and cheating on their wives and girlfriends; to "operate in their own space and time," like Ice T?
Yes, I understand that she had an abusive mother, absent father,and vicious husband. But there is little personal growth here.
I had to take a shower after reading it; not because I was turned on, but because I felt so filthy afterward.
Her introduction says it all: "No shame in my game."

Wow, I am truly feeling like "what was the point"? I must say, I started out feeling bad for this young lady and the things she went through (tacky momma, rape, uprooted from loving grandma', etc.). I even felt bad for her and all of the abuse she endured while being "married" to Kool G Rap (that says a lot about a person - you're married to a woman and you don't even know her real name or age....research, brotha; RESEARCH). Lot's of women get caught up in abusive relationships, especially taking her past experiences and age into consideration. I thought she was on the right track when she left...oh, what a fool I was. Here's where my problem with Ms. Steffens arises. It's easy to make a mistake once or twice, but to continually do it over, and over, and over, is just STUPID!!!!!! I do believe that she liked being treated like a whore! Ice T had done PLENTY for her to "get on her feet" and make her own way. She wanted to be treated like a whore and that's just what she got. I think it's terrible that she now puts these wives in such a position (Shaq's wife, Ja's wife, DMX's wife (who looks as if she'll run into her on the street and rip her heart out with her bare hands) and Whitney Houston). She's not just "putting the fellas out there" she's putting their wives and kids out there. Clearly she doesn't care to humiliate the hell out of her own child, (ie. a big a$! picture of the kid in the book not to mention the stupid dedication to him in the beginning of the book), but it's not fair to put innocent people in this mess. It's humiliating!!!! As is in Hollywood (and other cities) every game has rules. You, Ms. Steffens, ate well, drank well, got high, had monies transfered into your account, got cars (3) and condos. You broke the rules with this "tell all" book. ALL OF THE MEN (BESIDES JAY-Z) should be ashamed of themselves. I NEVER heard you mention a condom except for that one "head-job" you gave to Jay. Fellas, he wouldn't even let her give him head without a condom and you'll go raw? That's just nasty!

I call it "tell all", but in actuality, you didn't tell all. Why not put "papa" out there? You put everyone eles s*&$ out there? Oh, I'm sure he's still giving you money, which is why I can't feel sorry for you. What was up with P. Diddy acting all nervous at the party when he saw you again?

You haven't learned a lesson from any of this mess. As for the people that encouraged you to put this out there, they are complete HATERS and knew that this would stir up trouble.

You are such a lost soul. You were treated like a HO, but managed to "LOVE" each and every one (or a great deal of these men). Are you nuts? How did you think you were in love. I don't blame Usher for treating you the way that he did. Again, you deserved it!!!!

Again, after reading the first few chapters my heart bled for you. I just KNEW that there would be some type of light at the end of the tunnel. There was not a flicker. You mentioned that you still have "friends and people that you see in the industry" which means you still get it on whenever needed. HOW SAD!!!!

I love reading biographies, and am especially drawn to ones by young women who have lived a different lifestyle than my own, and have something to say about the experience that is either enlightening or entertaining. This book is neither. Karrine, miss Santiago, whatever she calls herself this biography proves to me that she so didn't deserve a book deal! Biographies, if they are to be readable, shouldn't be written in such a way that all the flashbacks, background, and memories barely make sense much less act as a way to connect her tale to the here and now. I have seen better story telling on a bathroom stall door. Her mom was a bad woman, she got beat, her dad wasn't around they moved a lot, she got bad grades, she was raped, she started stripping, met a man who she thought was ugly but decided to stay with him because he was rich, had a baby, left said man and proceeded to open her legs to any mogul, b-list movie star, upcoming Rap Star, video director, heck I am sure this woman bedded the pizza delivery guy to get free toppings. Justifying all her motives because she is such a strong black woman who deserved all the riches, child support, and clothes she could handle. I feel sorry for her son, maybe reading this book one day and seeing that his dad made his mother call him "daddy" when they had sex. She admits to deliberately setting out to be the sleaziest, smuttiest, shocking slut she could be both in life and in videos in order to either get the man, or get the close up. Instead of getting a bio about a young black woman who made a bad choice or two but decided to become an honorable human being and take care of her son, we get a ruthless money grubber who put her life in danger in order to get more bling and attention. Is this a cautionary tale? Or just one gigantic name dropping romp in the sack? I love the "Ice T made sweet wet love to me and gave me what I needed to be okay" Yea, believe that Karrine, I can see why all these men passed you back and forth like a sweatrag at a concert. I have seen her on many interviews on TV since reading this book and I just wrinkle my nose in disgust because she exudes smarminess.

Karrine Steffans Confessions of a Video Vixen isn't a cautionary tale meant to deter young women from the pitfalls of the entertainment industry; it's just a way for her to further exploit the black community and extend the last few seconds of her fifteen minutes of fame. This poorly written "tell all" drops the names of celebrities in an attempt to trick young people into wasting $25. Don't waste your hard-earned cash on this nonsense.

In her poorly written "memoir" (Even with Karen Hunter ghostwriting it reads like something a sixth grader on LSD would put together) Steffans, describes how stars like Shaq, Vin Diesel, P. Diddy and Usher exploited her by having sex with her then giving her cash and gifts. Well, that's the textbook definition of prostitution ain't it? A dancer doesn't earn a reputation as "Superhead" for dancing or having sex with married men. Long story short, this greedy golddigger was looking for a rich sucker to take and instead got took by seasoned hustlers who saw her for the parasite she was. No longer able to feed off the small pool of entertainers, she's using this book to find a larger host (the African-American community) to exploit.

Customers, don't let this memoir fool you into believing she was a victim of these stars. This woman had every opportunity to make a career for herself as a video dancer/actress but was too lazy to do anything but lie down. There are thousands of women in Hollywood who have appeared in hip hop videos as dancers. Do they spend their time drinking having sex and drugging with celebs? No. Any professional dancer serious about having a career in the is too busy trying to build a resume of credits and contacts while going out on casting calls or out to shoots. Real dancer/actresses see videos and movies as WORK and as a way to start getting credits towards better jobs like parts on TV shows and movies. They don't spend their time writing crappy books where the facts aren't even accurate. In the first chapter of her book Steffans calls the film A man Apart a Blockbuster. I remember reading how that movie tanked at the box office.
She later tells us her mother abused her. IMO, she didn't hit her hard enough to knock some sense into her. Poor widdle baby had to run away from DISCIPLINE to become a stripper. You know if she applied some of that commitment she had being a "video vixen" to her work in a classroom she could have gone to college and wrote a book that was about something significant like the late Claude Brown did. You want to read the story of a man who suffered and sacrificed pick up Manchild in the Promised Land. The late Claude Brown grew up in WORSE situations than Ms. Steffans and did MUCH MUCH more with his life.

Knowing what I know about the entertainment industry I can tell you that the end of Steffans career in the entertainment industry is drawing near. Celebrities write "tell alls" when their career is just about OVER. Parasite wannabes write them when they can't get a job from their hosts to pay their bills. It's a last ditch effort to scrape the last remnants of gravy from the bottom of the pan before their primary source of income dries up. Some idiot publisher gave Karrine Steffans an advance so she could sop up the last drops. Let that publisher take a loss on this book.

All these whiners like Karrine Steffans, Jayson Blair, and 50 Cent who complain about how hard their lives are need to shut up. They don't know what a hard life is with their "bling bling", $250 OOAK Nike sneakers, $300 jeans, cell phones, lunch in four-star restaurants driving around Hollywood in their Cadillac Escalades and Chrysler 300s. Slaves suffered indescribable abuse. People who lived in Jim Crow America suffered incredible hardship. People like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Malcolm X, Rosa parks who VOLUNTEERED to SACRIFICE in the Civil Rights Movement of the late 50's and 60's suffered horrendously. It makes me sick to my stomach watching this generation of spoiled children destroy the progress countless black people have worked 400 years to achieve.

Instead of this trash, buy Manchild In the Promised Land, Soul on Ice, Autobiography of Malcolm X or a book on Rosa Parks, Madame C.J. Walker, or Sojourner Truth. If you like fiction, Pick Up any of Zora Neale Hurston's books or Ann Petry's The Street. Get yourself Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison. Or just help out a struggling writer who posts these reviews for FREE and pick up a copy of Isis by Shawn James. (Shameless plug) ;)

I really give it to Steffans, she made great connections by wacking people off because the PR for this book was incredible. She was featured as a mentor for a former prostitute on a reality TV show called "Starting Over." I had not read her book at that time, but I sympathized with her simply because she was portrayed as a positive figure with a positive message on that show.

Then, she was on the Tyra Banks Show and Tyra ripped her apart. I respect Tyra as a positive role model for young girls, but I did not understand why she was so hard on Steffans. So I bought the book.... IT WAS WASTE OF MY TIME AND MONEY!!! I do not blame Tyra for not endorsing this book on her show. YOU GO TYRA!!

But back to Supa head....

Steffans needs therapy really BAD. She had no business appearing as a mentor on show helping women. After reading this book, I have lost respect for her and I will never watch that show "Starting Over" show again. The show's star life coach, Iyanla Van Zant, has lost all of her credibility inviting that lady on her show.

On top of that, she's a NY Times best-selling author!!! The NY Times has also lost its credibility.

I truly do not like Steffans. There are too many contradictions in this book. I work with young girls at a detention center (many of which are detained for sexual offenses, like prostitution) and I would never recommmend this book to them.

There is no rating below a star. How unfortunate for us all.

This book had several contradictions such as when she said she was naive about hip hop. Yet, when she ran away from her mother's home, she took her treasured Wu Tang Clan tape. The contradictionis and inconsistencies caused frustration for me as a reader. The whole book was a contradiction in a way- she was bragging about her industry conquests while claiming the book was written to discourage young women from following in her footsteps. Who would brag about sleeping with Dr. Dre, Shaq, or Xibit? Or bragging about how many men she slept with period!! GEEZ!!! I started off feeling sorry for her- the abusive mother, the rape, the semi absent father, the abusive marriage. If we took her attitude we would all be sliding down polls and prostituting ourselves. Not good excuses. The sympathetic feeling I had was quickly disolved when I noticed her pattern of self distructive behavior that she never tried to avoid.

The book was not a good lesson for other young women because in some ways she glorified the lifestyle- she almost made it seem that it was part of the deal to perform oral sex and screw dudes at random, just to get to the top. I also don't get the impression that she has embraced change in her life, as she is almost naked on the cover. What a message that sends!!!!! At the same time she kept talking about how she suddenly found God and how she was getting guidance from him. I guess God told her to go to that New Year's bash at Puffy's.

I believe this book was also her way of trying to tell some of the dudes that she loved them or had feelings for them even though she continuously used the term "love" lightly. She loved Papa. She loved Ja.

She tried to make us feel sorry for her by stating that when she was at her lowest point she had no one she could get money from! We weren't living her life and even WE knew those dudes were not REAL friends.

The blame is not totally on her but there is no book written about the other side of it- the nasty industry dudes who paid for a**!!! They have serious problems too! We already know they are whores! Their wives and girlfriends KNOW IT TOO and have probably stayed with them and endured because of the money too!!! So basically her book didn't tell us anything we didn't already know. I was even surprised a few names were missing!!! The book was pointless. It seemed like she name dropped because these dudes NO LONGER wanted anything to do with her and this was her pay back. I saved my receipt and the store from which I bought it has a generous 30-day return policy. I will be getting my $25 back because if she was silly enough not to even invest or flip her money after laying on her back for so long, I won't put another dime into this chic's pocket!

I have never seen something this bad get this much attention. The author claims to have written this book in an attempt to help young girls steer clear of the trappings of the Music video world and recognize some of the dangers before they fell victim. But this book reads like a recruiting tool for this type of life. This woman displays some really disturbing behavior in this so called "book". What's more disturbing is seeing people that seem to condone and in some cases admire this woman's behavior. And on top of that the book flows like it was written by a 4th grader. This woman slept with a lot of married men and somehow justified it in her mind. This woman never expressed any remorse for anything she did. Once you read this it will be obvious that she wrote this book for the same reason that she has done anything in her life, its for the money. I saw her in an interview and she claims to want a normal life, with a husband, a two car garage, a couple of jet skis and a nice scraggly dog in the yard. I know most fellows usually decide on a car with a few miles, but my goodness who wants a car that has turned over the speedometer 2 times, traveling on the most well know roads in the world. Some guy is going to end up with a lemon. How much more wear and tear can that engine take. At the end of the day and the end of this tragedy passed to us as a book, is a disgrace to African Americans and a cultural setback to millions, but it made one psycho.........$millions