The Confident Child: Raising Children to Believe in Themselves [Paperback]

Terri Apter (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 1, 1998

Raising confident, motivated children is a parent's greatest challenge. Drawing on her own extensive research on children and parents, and on Daniel Goleman's concept of emotional intelligence, Terri Apter has created a strategy based on emotional coaching--learning to respond appropriately to a child's feelings--for parents to promote self-esteem in children.

Children who believe in themselves and have confidence are known to experience future successes, to be less frustrated in learning, and to show overall higher performance. This compassionate guidebook shows parents how to help their child acquire self-esteem building skills and offers parents a plan for learning how to discipline, communicate, and deal with their children's emotional life, an important link to building self-esteem.

In an accessible style, with down-to-earth examples of children's lives in the family and in school, Apter shows parents how to raise a child to solve problems, to be socially active and understand others, to express feelings appropriately, and to manage emotions--all of which are crucial skills in developing confidence.  Every parent and caring adult should own a copy of this necessary parenting guide.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

"We understand far more about how self-esteem can be damaged in childhood--through neglect or abuse--than we do about how it can be fostered, preserved, and reinforced," author Terri Apter writes in The Confident Child: Raising Children to Believe in Themselves. Apter aims to help parents recognize problems in a child's "self theory" (a child's self-image and ideas about her potential), and to help the child "sustain positive attitudes and correct destructive ones." In clear, concise prose, The Confident Child focuses on the age span from 5 to 15, the time in life when self-esteem and confidence are at their most delicate and are the most sensitive to nurturing. Chapters cover assessing a child's self-esteem, being an imperfect parent without ruining your child's life (managing anger, grief, and disappointment), working within the delicate balance of discipline (teaching your child to be ashamed of her behavior but not of herself), success and failure at school, the effects of sibling rivalry, social confidence, and the early teen years. Much of the material in The Confident Child is original; Apter, a social psychologist and researcher and author of Altered Loves, conducted a five-year study that is the basis of this compassionate and practical book. Yet Apter also owes a debt to the works of Erik Erickson, Daniel Goleman, and others. --Ericka Lutz

Review

“Convincing, well-written and truly helpful . . . suggests concrete ways for parents to help their children like themselves and feel confident.” (Publishers Weekly )

“Terri Apter convinces the reader that she is on our side. . . . Her wisdom is tempered by warmth and a rueful acknowledgment that she hasn’t always got it right herself, which is totally disarming.” (Mary Hoffman, author of Amazing Grace ) --This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 272 pages
• Publisher: Bantam (September 1, 1998)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0553379860
• ISBN-13: 978-0553379860
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.3 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.5 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,367,099 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

73 of 77 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Give your child the emotional tools they need., May 9, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: Confident Child (Hardcover)

I finally found a parenting book that doesn't preach to me, or give 'quick-fix' answers. Instead, "The Confident Child...", helps me understand myself, and why I parent the way I do. It helps me to understand my daughter's emotions better which in turn helps me help her.

I especially like the "How to be an Imperfect Parent Without Ruining Your Childs Life" chapter. Wonderful suggestions, that are working in the real world.

With the assistance of this book Terri Apter has helped me pinpoint why my daughter's self-esteem issues arise. She's not the angry perfectionist I thought she was. Now I know where to start!

4 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The Confident Child, November 1, 2007

By 

Stlmharts (St Louis, MO) - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: The Confident Child: Raising Children to Believe in Themselves (Paperback)

Excellent pointers on how to boost your childs self confidence and performance as a result.

0 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Parenting for the Future, July 18, 2009

By 

Michaela K. Warnsley "holly" (Indiana) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Confident Child: Raising Children to Believe in Themselves (Paperback)

This book was first used in my Mother-Child Matrix graduate course in the Child Psych program of my school, and I soaked it up like a sponge. You can't help reliving your own childhood through these books that describe the experiences you go through with your parents as good parenting and not-so-good parenting. So, as a result, I gave this book as a present to one of them ;) I discussed it with one of them, and they said that they were really interested in the philosophy of this book, and now they've read it multiple times over. Even though I'm grown, I now have a 1yr old sibling who this could greatly benefit, and if taken as a guide, it really can.