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Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You'll Love to Live With Paperback – September 17, 2008


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Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You'll Love to Live With + When Your Kids Push Your Buttons: And What You Can Do About It + How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 256 pages
  • Publisher: Adams Media (September 17, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1598694715
  • ISBN-13: 978-1598694710
  • Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.5 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #330,030 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Bonnie Harris holds a master's degree in Early Childhood Education with a specialization in parent/child development. She's appeared on TODAY and she's been interviewed on other television and radioshows, and in the New York Times. She's written a feature for Working Mother. She is the mother of two 20-somethings and lives in New Hampshire.

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Customer Reviews

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10 of 11 people found the following review helpful By Lu Hanessian on September 11, 2008
Format: Paperback
Most parenting books fail to take one major piece into consideration when they are espousing schools of thought, doling out advice or trying to offer parents hope on the journey: how things look...from the child's point of view.
This book nails that piece into place with wisdom, compassion and conviction. We need to stop seeing parenting as something that parents endure, perform well, or struggle with and start taking into account that parenting implies relationship, not a set of hard and fast rules that little people better follow or else. Bonnie Harris is a powerful voice of reason, rhyme and guts, and we all would do well to listen, listen, listen to ourselves from the inside out...and then do the same with our kids. In her book, she makes it clear, without judgment or preachy advice, that our confidence as parents relies on looking bravely in the mirror and seeing our reflection in our child's eyes--and vice versa. A wonderful book.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Claire M. Juengst on September 8, 2008
Format: Paperback
It is a great book! I like the way each chapter ends with a summary and the suggested practices. I really believe your basic premise of kids wanting to be successful and the 8 principles are "right on"! We all need to internalize the idea that "the child is not bad; rather the child has bad behavior" and figure out why the behavior is taking place. Your 8 principles get us going in that direction. I liked the idea of trying to focus on what is going right rather than what is going wrong. Other similar ideas that jumped out at me were: Different does not mean wrong and a child is having a problem not being a problem. The eighth principle, "Good Boundaries Mean Good Balance", is a challenge for parents. Parents do want to fix problems so that their children will be happy but as you point out, it isn't always the best way for the child because we are not cultivating mechanisms that they can use in the future.

Adoptive Families Together (AFT) has similar philosophies regarding how we as parents react to our kids' behaviors. They come to us with so much baggage and we must determine what is causing the bad behaviors.

Part 2 is filled with great practical ways to apply the 8 Principles. Chapters 9 to 15 cover all the "hot spots" that occur in everyday life.
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2 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Margaret C. Hunt on November 25, 2008
Format: Paperback
Bonnie Harris has produced quality advice for parents yet again: a worthy follow up to her first book "When Your Kids Push Your Buttons". Like the Buttons book, "Confident Parents Remarkable Kids" includes many helpful illustrations to make her point. I'm impressed with the way Bonnie helps parents to see the world from the child's point of view so that one can work out what might be triggering the child's behaviour. I also like phrases such as: "What you focus on grows": catch phrases can be very helpful for tired parents. Thoughtfulness, understanding, firm boundaries when required, age and personality appropriate responses, love - it's all there in this lovely book. And if you lose the plot, remember that the Buttons book can help you with that!
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Principles for all relationships.... not just parents and kids! Principle #1: Children want to succeed! Who doesn't? Never yet met a teacher, doctor or even librarian whose goal was to fail.
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By Amazon Customer on June 12, 2013
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I have read a lot of parenting books and this book totally describes the type of parenting I would like to practice!! It describes situations that happen every day and explains the deeper cause and how to handle it!
Of course like any book of the same category cannot give you miracle solutions because the solution is within you as you have to change first for your children to change!!

I would recommend it to anyone who is willing to try a more peaceful approach towards their kids.
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By Chris Sigmon on March 14, 2013
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
When I slow down and have the patience to communicate with my children the way Harris describes, we have wonderful outcomes! (tears, anger, disrespect, etc..... are all alleviated so much quicker; and my children share so much more about their day withe me). It is very eye-opening and rewarding to really explore the reasons they respond the way they do in certain situations. I wish I had read this book years ago.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I love this book for the simple reason that the author explains that parents are not responsible for their child's behavior and that every child is born for success. This book opens lines of communication between the parent and the child without having to yell or punish your children with time outs, or grounding. It explains to parents how important it is for your child to make choices, to negotiate and to problem solve...all the things that your child will have to do for himself/herself in everyday life. I am so happy that I have found it!
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