I finally found a parenting book that really works for me.
I like the book for two reasons. First, it emphasizes an attachment parenting philosophy, but without losing sight of the importance of parental authority and respect. Second, it provides lots of great practical application material. It gives me both a framework and the "how-tos" that so many books are lacking.
The first half of the book discusses eight foundational principles that comprise the framework for thinking about parenting:
My child wants to be successful
My child's behavior is my clue
My child's greatest need is acceptance
Expectations must be set for success
Connection strengthens relationship
The behavior I focus on grows
Problem solving, - not punishment - teaches responsibility
Good boundaries mean good balance [between the parents' needs the kids' needs]
The second half of the book applies the foundational principles to common problems. There are individual chapters on getting out the door in the morning, chores, sibling rivalry, peer pressure, homework, mealtime, and bedtime.
The recommended discipline approach is logical consequences. But, the book's primary focus is on problem-solving between parent and child. When that's done, the need to impose consequences is minimized. For example, the emphasis in the "getting out the door in the morning" chapter is on coming alongside kids to teach them how to structure their morning. That structure includes imposition of rules that kids may not like (e.g., no electronics or TV before leaving for school in the morning). Similarly, there's an emphasis on unconditional love, but that's done in the context of also setting appropriate expectations for behavior and achievement.
Too many parenting books fail to balance mercy and justice. Bonnie Harris succeeds, and I'm grateful for this recource.
