Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With (Paperback)

~ Bonnie Harris (Author)
Key Phrases: connective communication, mindful focus, internal emotional state, Main Ideas, Are Strong Boundaries Keeping Good Balance, New Hampshire

Editorial Reviews

Product Description

When a child believes he is bad, he behaves badly—and parents react badly, which will only reinforce the child’s belief that he is bad. But confident parents can break this cycle and improve their child’s misbehavior, says child development specialist Bonnie Harris. Using Harris’s eight parenting principles designed to help children succeed, parents will learn the following truths: my child wants to be successful; behavior is the signal to my child’s emotional state; inappropriate behavior means my child is having a problem, not being a problem; my needs are no more or no less important than my child’s; I accept my child as a competent and unique individual; the behavior I focus on grows; I need to say what my child can hear; good discipline requires connection; and punishment breaks connection. Putting these principles to work allows parents to abandon the typical reward and punishment system of discipline (which alienates child and parent), and replace it with a more compassionate, successful approach that brings parent and child together. With Harris’s plan, parents will gain the confidence and skills to raise remarkable kids they will love to live with—and vice versa.

About the Author

Bonnie Harris holds a master's degree in Early Childhood Education with a specialization in parent/child development. She's appeared on TODAY and she's been interviewed on other television and radioshows, and in the New York Times. She's written a feature for Working Mother. She is the mother of two 20-somethings and lives in New Hampshire.

Product Details

• Paperback: 256 pages
• Publisher: Adams Media (September 17, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1598694715
• ISBN-13: 978-1598694710
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.2 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #249,735 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A loving wake up call for parents, September 11, 2008

By	Lu Hanessian (New York, NY) - See all my reviews

Most parenting books fail to take one major piece into consideration when they are espousing schools of thought, doling out advice or trying to offer parents hope on the journey: how things look...from the child's point of view.
This book nails that piece into place with wisdom, compassion and conviction. We need to stop seeing parenting as something that parents endure, perform well, or struggle with and start taking into account that parenting implies relationship, not a set of hard and fast rules that little people better follow or else. Bonnie Harris is a powerful voice of reason, rhyme and guts, and we all would do well to listen, listen, listen to ourselves from the inside out...and then do the same with our kids. In her book, she makes it clear, without judgment or preachy advice, that our confidence as parents relies on looking bravely in the mirror and seeing our reflection in our child's eyes--and vice versa. A wonderful book.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Another Hit!, September 8, 2008

By	Claire M. Juengst (Goodyear, AZ) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

It is a great book! I like the way each chapter ends with a summary and the suggested practices. I really believe your basic premise of kids wanting to be successful and the 8 principles are "right on"! We all need to internalize the idea that "the child is not bad; rather the child has bad behavior" and figure out why the behavior is taking place. Your 8 principles get us going in that direction. I liked the idea of trying to focus on what is going right rather than what is going wrong. Other similar ideas that jumped out at me were: Different does not mean wrong and a child is having a problem not being a problem. The eighth principle, "Good Boundaries Mean Good Balance", is a challenge for parents. Parents do want to fix problems so that their children will be happy but as you point out, it isn't always the best way for the child because we are not cultivating mechanisms that they can use in the future.

Adoptive Families Together (AFT) has similar philosophies regarding how we as parents react to our kids' behaviors. They come to us with so much baggage and we must determine what is causing the bad behaviors.

Part 2 is filled with great practical ways to apply the 8 Principles. Chapters 9 to 15 cover all the "hot spots" that occur in everyday life.

5.0 out of 5 stars Any library catering to parents will find this a fine guide, January 14, 2009

By	Midwest Book Review (Oregon, WI USA) - See all my reviews

Parents seeking a better way of improving a child's behavior will find this an excellent book discussing parental needs, kids' reactions to discipline and guidance, and how to break the cycle of defeat on both sides. Children want to succeed, behavior is a parent's cue, and this book tells how to create successful routines. Any library catering to parents will find this a fine guide.