15 of 15 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Valid and Practical, June 1, 2008
"If we love aggressively, we will resist strife every time," Joyce Meyer writes near the end of the book. The theme is that by seeking peace, the quality of life increases and joy is manifested. As in her other books, the subject matter is one she has lived out in her own life, overcoming numerous obstacles that prevented her for the peaceful/joyful life she describes. She points out it isn't necessarily easy to begin the process of pursuing peace, but through focused discipline it can be achieved and is well worth the process.
"Envy and jealousy are open doors for strife," she points out. By taking thoughts into captivity, negative thoughts can be replaced with God-given thoughts that produce joy. She points out that the devil doesn't want the possessions of a person, but seeks to steal one's joy because the joy of the Lord is our strength.
Part of obtaining joy is to overlook other people's shortcomings. We all have them. She encourages you to be generous in granting mercy and being long-suffering. Forgiveness is emphasized. It should be given frequently and quickly.
In one section of the book she talks about the mysterious way God works in one's life, that often we do not understand at the time what He is doing. The implication for relationships is that sometimes people need to have some slack in their lives as they may be struggling with issues that are unresolved.
A powerful nugget she leaves is, "Rather than trying to make someone treat you fairly, pray for them, and trust God to take care of you."
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14 of 14 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Hurting people hurt people., November 2, 2009
This is a wonderful book full of deep, personal testimony, admissions of the author's own personal vulnerabilities, ways that she came to deal with her own frustrations as well as particularly relevant verses from scripture, written exercises the reader can use to make Joyce's material specifically meaningful to them and prayers after every chapter.
I particularly liked Chapter Four The Pastor Must Not Like Me so applicable to many women, myself included, who struggle with insecurity. Joyce tells us "The enemy often uses people with emotional wounds and scars to stir up trouble. These people...do not operate in self-control, nor do they ask God to help them get over the hurt, as a more secure or mature Christian would do. Instead, they allow Satan to magnify incidents in their minds and make them appear to be much more important than they really are. The devil wants to get these Christians to believe that people ...are purposely trying to hurt them." She later adds: "Insecure people...carry a root of rejection. They need a lot of outward assurance that they are accepted. They lack feelings of worth and value from within, so they crave it from outside sources. They need other people to affirm their acceptance through their actions and words." Joyce tells her readers over and over again "YOU NEED TO LEARN TO TRUST GOD TO HEAL YOUR EMOTIONAL WOUNDS." Whereas this may oftentimes be difficult to do it is essential that we do just that.
In Chapter Six Trust God, Not Self Joyce again acknowleges "Like me, many people have difficulty trusting God because of past hurts. But God is not like other people. We can trust him." The concluding sentence of that chapter is "When we trust in ourselves, it leads to strife. When we trust in God, it leads to peace--peace within ourselves, peace with God and peace with others."
Joyce tells us in Chapter Seven Make Friends With Yourself that she herself did not "understand that my rejection and self-hatred were why I didn't get along with most people and why most people would not get along with me. My relationships had a lot of strife because I was in strife with myself. People disliked me because I disliked myself." She reminds us that "God's Word assures us that we have tremendous value because of who we are--God's beloved children. What I do is not always perfect. But I still know who I am--a child of God whom He loves very much. My worth and value come from the fact that Jesus died for me, not because I do everything perfectly." Joyce adds that "You have tremendous worth and value. You are special to God and He has a good plan for your life." In this same chapter Joyce describes how much trouble she had trying to constantly change herself because she did not like herself: "The more I stuggled to change, the more frustrated I became, until the glorious day when I discovered Jesus accepted me just as I was. He, and only He, could get me to where I needed to be. No amount of struggle or self-effort could perfect the flaws in me."
Chapter Eight Make Forgiveness a Lifestyle was particularly meaningful to me personally. Like Joyce previous hurts had continued to cause me pain because I had trouble trusting God to vindicate me. Joyce tells us here that "The world is filled with hurt and hurting people, and my experience has been that hurting people hurt others." She advises here to learn to forgive. I think that may be very difficult for many of us who have been severely hurt but if we can remember that those who hurt US may have been deeply damaged themselves, that may make forgiving a little easier.
Chapter Eleven Live in Harmony and Unity with Other Believers summarizes it quite nicely: "To live in harmony we must make allowances for each other and overlook each other's mistakes and faults. We must be humble, loving, compassionate and courteous. We must be willing to forgive quickly and frequently. We must not be easily offended and must bless others rather than curse them. We must be generous in mercy and we must be long-suffering (patient)." This is followed by Chapter Twelve Revise Your Strategy for Spiritual Warfare where Joyce reminds us how Jesus taught his followers a different way of fighting their battles: "But I tell you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute (hurt and abuse) you." (Matt. 5:44)
In closing Chapter Fifteen Reclaim Your Inheritance Joyce advises her readers to "Make a decision today: 'I am finished with upset and turmoil; peace is mine, and I am going to enjoy it now', and begin to live in peace. Keep conflict out of your life; out of your thoughts, words and attitudes; out of your relationships. Choose life! Choose peace!"
For many reasons I would strongly recommend this book for all those who struggle with insecurity, self doubt, frustration, unforgiveness, anger and conflict.
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