Confronting Your Spouse's Pornography Problem [Paperback]

Rory C. Reid MSW (Author), Dan Gray LCSW (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: June 1, 2006

Addressing the modern issue of addiction to Internet pornography, this evaluation guides spouses struggling to find ways to confront this problem in their married lives. Calling on years of counseling experience and clinical study, the authors cover the most concerning issues of this addiction, from understanding the importance of disclosure to reestablishing trust for the success of a long-term marriage. Containing valuable information gathered from experience, research, and the testimonies of clients struggling to overcome these issues, this guide helps couples confront and overcome the hurdles of related activities such as illicit chat rooms, cybersex, and predatory behavior towards minors.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"The authors frankly and respectfully address the emotional issues involved and help...to restore the relationship."  —Library Journal

About the Author

Rory C. Reid, MSW, is a licensed therapist who specializes in the treatment of sexual-impulse behavior. He is the program director for sexual impulsivity at the Provo Counseling Center in Utah. He teaches in the behavior science departments at Brigham Young University and Utah Valley State College. He lives in Orem, Utah. Dan Gray, LCSW, is a clinical director of sexual trauma and recovery in Salt Lake City. He specializes in addictions counseling. He lives in Salt Lake City.

Product Details

• Paperback: 176 pages
• Publisher: Silverleaf Press (June 1, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1933317434
• ISBN-13: 978-1933317434
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.3 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #109,909 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

51 of 54 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Finally a book for the other person in the relationship, February 12, 2007

By 

Stephanie Manley (Houston, TX) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Confronting Your Spouse's Pornography Problem (Paperback)

It hasn't been until recently that pornography has been accepted as a real addiction. Pornography addiction in some ways is much more shameful than alcohol and drug addition, and reliable resources for this type of addiction are still limited. This is the first book that I have read that really places the emphasis on the partner who is impacted by their spouse's behavior.

This book covers very well the feelings that you may have when you find your spouse is addicted to pornography. I like that the book also tells you different ways to confront your partner, and what to expect when you do confront your partner. This book also emphasizes what you must do as the partner that realizes they are in a relationship with a person with an addiction. Reid and Gray spend time in walking you through how you will feel, and offers you suggestions in how you can work through your own feelings.

Reid and Gray then spend time in helping you and your spouse to determine if a treatment plan is going to be used. Unlike Carnes' Out of the Shadows this book takes the perspective of the partner who is hurt by the addiction. The book also suggests ways to work on treating this addiction, determining if the relationship can be saved, and then working through the outcome of the relationship.

While there are a few books available on pornography addiction, this one really excells at what the partner suffers through. This book is well worth reading if you are involved with someone with a sexual addiction and how it will impact you. This book read along with Carnes Out of the Shadows will give a very well rounded perspective on the relationship from the addict and the person impacted by this behavior. Pornography addiction does not have to mean the end of a relationship, but it does mean looking at the relationship with fresh eyes. Reid and Gray will assist people in this type of circumstance with healing, and growing from this experience.

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars saved our marriage, January 7, 2009

By 

S. Parks (kentucky) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Confronting Your Spouse's Pornography Problem (Paperback)

this is a very informative book. it is written so it is understandable. it has really helped me through some very tough times. i was mad at my husband for this and almost ready to divorce. this helped me to understand and deal with it and hold our marriage together. highly recommend this book to anyone going thru a sex addiction such as porn addiction. thanks amazon for quick delivery.

9 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Very Helpful!, July 14, 2009

By 

Andrea Cummings "princessflttrby" (Kansas) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Confronting Your Spouse's Pornography Problem (Paperback)

I purchased this book after my husband told me he had a porn problem. We've been married for 5 years, together for 8, and I've always known something was up in the sex area, but could never ferret it out. Anyway, this book was a very helpful tool for both me and my husband. It outlines the first steps to dealing with and healing a relationship invaded and damaged by pornography addiction. The book does a lot for validation of feelings and understanding your partner's feelings. It also stresses the importance of honesty and getting it all out in the open so that decisions can be made about treatment, healing, and the continuation of your marriage if that is your choice. I think what I liked most about this book was that it gave several options for treatment and recovery rather than just dwelling on faith and religion as I have found many books related to addiction do. This does not bypass faith as a healing tool, but it isn't the be all and end all of getting better, which I greatly appreciated. If you or your significant other thinks they have a problem, or if the problem has all ready upset your home, this is an excellent book to give you some direction. It was a much needed guide in the "What the &*(^ do I do with this? How do I process this? What do you mean "addicted" to porn?" stage. It answered many of the initial questions I had and gave solid suggestions for finding peace, getting treatment, and healing.