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Confusing Love with Obsession: When You Can't Stop Controlling Your Partner and the Relationship Paperback – December 17, 2002


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 212 pages
  • Publisher: iUniverse (December 17, 2002)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0595259278
  • ISBN-13: 978-0595259274
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.5 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 11 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (29 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,730,648 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

JOHN D. MOORE, MS, C.A.D.C, is a state of Illinois Certified Addictions Counselor, employed in the Social Services Field as a Community Case Manager. He is also a Professor of Health Sciences at American Public University System, instructing courses in Interpersonal Communications, with an emphasis on styles of attachment in personal relationships. A native of Chicago, he lives on the city's north side.

Customer Reviews

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

18 of 18 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on January 11, 2003
Format: Paperback
I purchased and read this book a week ago after a painful divorce was finalized. Fast forward to now and here I am in the same situation yet again, falling in love with a different man. I read the book and did not take much to heart, basically because I was in denial. But after picking up the book again and giving serious thought to what Moore presented, I can see how addicted I am to relationships. I also found myself feeling a bit embarrassed as I read this book, because much of what was presented hit a little too closee to home. Looking back on my marriage, I behaved just like some of the people in the case studies did - using food to manipulate my ex-husband into gaining weight. I also broke into his computer and deleted emails and tried to cause trouble for him. Why? Because I was obsessed with my ex husband and addicted to our marriage. I have now been motivated to join a support group and get help from a therapist. As for my new relationship, I am putting that on ice until I begin to heal. If you decide to buy this book, be prepared for some moments where you might cry. This is perhaps one of the best books I have ever read, because Moore writes with compassion and shows how relational dependency effects both WOMEN AND MEN!
It will change your life!
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3 of 0 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on December 8, 2003
Format: Paperback
Loved the book. So many of us read your wonderful comments on General Wesley Clark's web blog! Thank You! I not only read the book, but I bought 2 for Christmas gifts.
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13 of 13 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on May 11, 2003
Format: Paperback
I found out about this book while traveling through Northern Ireland on a soul searching tour of sorts. I had recently divorced and was trying to figure out where I was heading in my life. That is when I came accross the book at a local market. Talk about an eye opener! Moore reached into the depths of my very being and spoke to my heart. All of my life, I felt like love was supposed to hurt and feel crappy. Now I know that it does not have to be this way and that loving another person starts with me! He does not use religion or anything, just plain honesty about stuff we all go through that makes us into the people we are today. When you grow up in an unhealthy environment, it has a way of effecting your relationships later in life. Get this book if you are dealing with an obsessive relationship or if you know someone who is. It's life changing.
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12 of 12 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on January 20, 2003
Format: Paperback
I was assigned to read this book by a psychologist after I was involved in an incident, since I am in the military. Like any other assigned reading, I was very reluctant, until I began reading this book . . . and all I could think was, "How could he know?"; Every relationship case study I followed had the same patterns he was describing, and I couldn't read more than a few chapters at a time without having to put the book down so I could stop crying. It all made so much sense! Never before had my behavior been described to me in such a way to make me realize: There was a reason why I fell for the wrong men and gave so much to a disasterous relationship. I was always a fool in love, and in love with a fool. Now I am in love with a beautiful man who actually puts my needs before his own. Now I cry because he makes me so happy instead of crying because he broke my heart again! If you can relate at all, you must read this book and see for yourself . . .
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12 of 12 people found the following review helpful By Edward on February 8, 2003
Format: Paperback
We were assigned this book to read by our instructor at the university I attend for undergraduate social work. Confusing Love with obsession advances so many psychological concepts ways that are easilly understood by the reader. I think what I found most alluring about this book was the level of compassion offered by the author. He went out of his way to not cast blame on relationally depedent people and offered concrete reasons as to why someone might behave destructively in personal relationships. There were a few times I had to put the book down because it started to influence me emotionally. If you are looking for insightful reading material that will hold your attention, get a copy of this book.
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19 of 21 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on March 9, 2004
Format: Paperback
I read Moore's book and was very impressed with each of the case studies. In some way, each person's story spoke to my own situation in a controlling relationship. There were many times that I had to put the book aside because it hurt too much to keep reading. As I kept turning the pages, I saw all of the patterns in my own life and then the lightbulb went off and I thought, "That's me!" If you are in a controlling relationship or are obsessed with someone else, you have to get this book. It will change your life forever.
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful By Brian Reader on January 20, 2003
Format: Paperback
Do you Confuse Love with Obsession? Is someone controlling your life? If so, you need to read this book! Each of the case studies tells the tale of those who use harsh control tactics in relationships - including stalking! I found myself getting upset when I read this book because I could see some of my own behaviors. The author does an excellent job in not condeming the obsessed person and goes out of his way to be supportive and caring. You will never be the same after you read this book.
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11 of 12 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on January 19, 2004
Format: Paperback
This book is for men and women because both sexes suffer from this problem. For along time, I had become obsesse over a man to the point that I couldn't work or even think straight. This book made me feel like I wasn't alone. It also helped to explain why I had become obsessed and what I could do to deal with it. I have no doubt this book will help millions.
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