Connect: 12 vital ties that open your heart, lengthen your life, and deepen your soul [Hardcover]

Edward M. Hallowell M.D. (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: August 3, 1999

The promise of wellness and satisfaction has never been as ubiquitous in our culture as it is now.  Images of happy people stare out at us from magazine pages and television screens; they are successful and busy, hurrying from the office to the opera, eating healthfully and acting responsibly.  We are a nation of achievers but, as Dr. Edward Hallowell makes clear in Connect, what sustains us--emotionally, psychologically, physically--is connectedness, the feeling that we are part of something that matters, something larger than ourselves that gives life its meaning, direction, and purpose.
    
Hallowell examines the real life most of us lead--overwhelmed, harried, pressured--and outlines the steps we can take to connect ourselves to the people and things that matter to us.  He elevates the simplest forms of communication, understanding, and self-knowledge as examples of the human moment: the basis for the bridges we build to one another. He tells stories of personal growth--one woman's plan to bring a neighborhood together, another woman's assembling of a makeshift family, a real estate developer's institution of company-wide weekly pizza dinners--and identifies in them twelve vital ties to a more connected life. Hallowell concludes that within each of us exists the capacity to connect with the people around us--our parents, spouses, children, friends, and colleagues--to become who we want to be and to be happy with who we are.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

For enhancing life quality, Hallowell has deceptively simple advice: connect. If it's a sad commentary on our times that people need to be reminded of the value of, indeed the need for, fundamental human connection, the author of Worry and co-author of Driven to Distraction doesn't dwell on it. Instead, he demonstrates the powerful benefits of connection through highly personal stories of his own painful youth and such examples as a couple who weathered significant strains in their long-enduring marriage and the creative life of his lifelong friend Jonathan Galassi (Farrar, Straus & Giroux's editorial director). Urging return to the "human moment," which he describes as "people talking to one another in person with interest," he notes some causes of social disconnectedness, including the quest for personal freedom and, ironically, advanced communications technology. Despite his prestigious academic standing as a psychiatrist and lecturer at Harvard Medical School, Hallowell's style is easy and will be especially appealing to baby boomers searching for meaning and balance. Recognizing that individuals vary in the number and depth of their connections, he identifies many potential sources: family, both of origin and created; friends and community; one's work or mission; beauty, music, art, literature and ideas; the past; nature and pets; institutions, oneself and one's belief system. Two slim, concluding chapters suggest ways to examine and enhance one's own connections, but reinforcement is hardly needed after absorbing Hallowell's wise lessons. He may not be the first to identify the missing ingredient in many lives, but he can claim authority of a splendid articulation in this book. Agent, Jill Kneerim of the Palmer & Dodge Agency. 12-city tour; 20-city radio satellite tour; PBS one-hour special.
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal

Hallowell (Driven to Distraction) urges readers to "make time for connectedness," which he alternately defines as having person-to-person interaction or being involved with something greater than oneself. He identifies "Twelve Points of Connection" (i.e., marriage, family, friends, work, beauty, the past, nature, pets, ideas and information, institutions, religious concerns, and self-knowledge) that can supply this grounding. Though a healthy individual need not be connected to all of these points, Hallowell asserts that some meaningful connection is required to promote longevity and personal happiness. This lengthy book, written in lay reader's terms, is packed with case histories and personal accounts intended to illustrate the power of connections. Hallowell is a crusader, with a tendency to sermonize, but his anecdotes are usually engaging, often amusing, and frequently moving. He concludes with a self-assessment quiz and "tips" to improve one's connectedness. This will be useful for those who feel disconnected, disconcerted, and discontent in a world where personal achievement has replaced personal relationships. Recommended for public libraries.AYan Toma & Jessica Wolff, Queens Borough P.L., Flushing, NY
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 352 pages
• Publisher: Pantheon; 1st edition (August 3, 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0375403574
• ISBN-13: 978-0375403576
• Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 6.3 x 1.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (15 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #547,385 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

I am a child and adult psychiatrist with a private practice in Sudbury Mass with my group of clinicians collectively called The Hallowell Center. I also am a writer and a lecturer. I am married to Sue Hallowell, a social worker and a therapist. We have been married for 17 years and have 3 children, Lucy, now 16, Jack, 13, and Tucker, 10 (as of April, 2006).
The major theme that runs through all my work is the magical power of the human connection, and the power of positive connections of all kinds. I also specialize in learning differences and have written books about how to deal best with attention deficit disorder, a condition that I regard as a potential gift, if it handled correctly.
I welcome hearing from readers. Just send me an email to [e-mail] or visit my website at drhallowell.com

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

29 of 31 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Among the many "self-help" books, this is one not to miss!, August 28, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Connect: 12 vital ties that open your heart, lengthen your life, and deepen your soul (Hardcover)

When one evaluates the choices in a psychology or "self help" section in a bookstore (or online), the selection is overwhelming. Without a specific recommendation from a trusted source, it is often difficult to determine which authors have real credibility. Because I have gleaned many useful ideas from four of Dr. Hallowell's earlier books, I was pleased to see another. While I found Driven to Distraction, Answers to Distraction, and Worry excellent reading, my favorite to date was an out of-print book, Finding the Heart of the Child. Connect, while having its own distinct purposes, is similar to "Finding the Heart"in that it reveals the gentle and loving "heart" of the author, who openly shares his incredible life story in a manner that enables the reader to better understand the importance of his message. In our frentic "cyber-world", it is not possible to stay adeqately connected to family, friends and institutions without really intentionality. This book offers scientific, thought provoking evidence of the value of being connected. Supporting arguments in Connect are powerful because they are based on moving real-life stories of people who have managed rich and full lives, despite challenges that might have been ruinous for them and their perspectives.

19 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A book the world needs, August 9, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Connect: 12 vital ties that open your heart, lengthen your life, and deepen your soul (Hardcover)

As a psychologist, I have long been a fan of Dr. Edward Hallowell's best-selling books ("Driven to Distraction"; Worry"), and have recommended them to many people. One of Dr. Hallowell's gifts is his ability to connect with readers by approaching them with respect, and by writing in a warm, friendly, jargon-free style. He does it again in his latest and best book yet: "Connect." Reading "Connect" made a three hour plane ride go by as if it were three minutes. Hallowell sees "connectedness" as key to an individual's mental, social, emotional, and physical health -- and he traces many of our personal, interpersonal, and societal problems to the disconnectedness in our lives. The concept is so simple, yet so profound. Once you begin to think about it, you see how true it is. ATM's, virtual offices, and Internet shopping sever human connection; the stress-filled, hurried lives so many people lead have eroded connections with one's spouse or partner, children, extended family, and neighbors. Hallowell points out the importance of feeling connected to one's work, faith, and culture; to the past and the future; to nature and art and music. Hallowell's book includes a lot of autobiographical anecdotes, childhood remembrances, and stories about clients and other people the author knows or has read about. Far more than just a self-help book, "Connect" has the power and suspense of a novel. In a chapter that is destined to become a classic in the literature of psychiatry and psychotherapy, Hallowell writes about one of his patients, a schizophrenic with whom he first communicated by writing a line of poetry. The patient responded, and the two connected over "poem therapy." It is one of the most powerful, touching stories of two human beings connecting you will ever read. Hallowell wisely puts most of his "how-to" advice in one chapter. This not only makes his suggestions for increasing connectedness in one's life readily accessible, but frees the other chapters to be lyrical, philosophical, and moving. The construct of connectedness is one that people need to embrace if they wish to improve the quality of their lives and relationships. This book is destined to become a benchmark in the discourse of our culture.

24 of 29 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars There's a customer in the "Connect" message, September 8, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Connect: 12 vital ties that open your heart, lengthen your life, and deepen your soul (Hardcover)

I was first exposed to Ned Hallowell's writing and his work in the Harvard Business Review article, "The Human Moment". What struck me then and again after reading this latest work is how much of Ned's insight on relationships applies to our business lives and how we manage relationships with associates and customers. There's no question that Dr. Hallowell has hit on one of life's real opportunities -- the chance to make true connections. This book helps us to understand and appreciate the value these relationships bring to ourselves and our families. What the world of business often lacks is a sense of how relationships are the key to our success and that we need a strategy and a process to do it successfully. Ned has uncovered a very compelling message with the evidence to support it! I'll have the opportunity to hear him speak at a conference in Minneapolis next week and can't wait to have a "human moment" with the author of this masterfully written book.