Connecting: The Enduring Power of Female Friendship [Hardcover]

Sandy Sheehy (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: July 25, 2000

After years of taking a backseat to other relationships, women's friendships are finally being celebrated as never before. In Connecting, noted journalist Sandy Sheehy investigates why female friendships are so important, how they function throughout our lives, and how we can best experience the joys they offer.

Sheehy introduces ground-breaking research, drawn from more than thirty psychologists and sociologists. Their intriguing, often surprising, findings are brought home with real-life stories and keen insights taken from more than two hundred interviews the author personally conducted with girls and women of all ages, races, and walks of life.

The author provides a fascinating look at the qualities that initially attract women to their closest friends; how friendships change throughout life; and hwy female bonding is a vital part of a woman's psychological development, health, and sense of well-being at any age. Sheehy addresses such thought-provoking questions as: Why is making friends so easy for some and hard for others? How can friendships help us become better, more fulfilled people? What are the key ingredients to lasting and satisfying friendships?

Recognizing how our relationships serve different needs aat different times in our lives, the author describes the ten basic types of female friendship--from soulmates to workmates--and shows how each nurtures and supports us. Sheehy then examines the six seasons of friendships, from girlhood to old age, devoting a separated chapter to the special characteristics and rewards friendship offers each age group. Just as important, she tackles the thorny issues, delving into the challenges that can strain and even shatter friendships, and offers sound strategies for handling difficult situations. And in "Sixteen Steps to Having Friends for Life," Sheehy shares the secrets for keeping and enriching friendships.

In Connecting, Sandy Sheehy takes us on a journey of discovery and appreciation of the rich rewards of this special intimacy, pointing the way to growth-promoting, life-enhancing relationships--to becoming the best of friends and enjoying the best of friendship.How do friendships between women evolve at different stages of life? How do they differ from men's? Why can some women make friends easily while others have none at all? What are the key ingredients to lasting and satisfying friendships? Drawing on recent psychological research and her own firsthand interviews with more than 200 girls and women from all walks of life, journalist Sandy Sheehy takes an engaging and insightful look at these questions and more. She probes the nature and history of female friendships, pinpoints the major types, and shows how they function during the four main stages of women's lives and how they insure our healthy development. This book reads like an intimate and informative conversation with a close girlfriend. It will validate and reassure women about their friendships as never before.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

In this weighty volume, Texan and magazine writer Sheehy (Texas Big Rich) attempts to track how the form and significance of friendships between women change throughout their lives. Describing the friendships of girls and women of all ages, she also examines the divergent views women from different generations may have about their girlfriends. For women who came of age in the 1950s or earlier, she finds, the relationship with a man always takes precedence over friendships; they also don't discuss personal problems. Younger women, on the other hand, reject the idea of standing up a friend in favor of a boyfriend, and they don't hesitate to discuss their personal problems or to ask a friend what's wrong if she seems troubled. Sheehy affirms these relationships warmly and explains the important role they play in women's emotional development and even physical health. Written in a friendly voice and sprinkled throughout with anecdotes that both quicken the pace of the narrative and provide depth and emphasis for Sheehy's points, the book challenges readers to rethink the meaning and import of women's friendships. "Female friendship is indeed a primary bond," she writes. Blending quotes from interviews she conducted with ordinary women nationwide, sociological studies, conversations with psychotherapists and articles from women's magazines, Sheehy makes a strong case. However, her description of "the ten forms of female friendship" (e.g., soulmates, companions in crisis) sometimes seems didactic and restricting, leaving little room for individual variation or quirks. On the whole, however, Sheehy's lively book offers a framework within which women can consider and reevaluate their own friendships. (Aug.)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal

How women's friendships have changed historically, how they change throughout one's life, and their importance in the quality of women's lives are covered in great detail in this intriguing book. A variety of destructive friendships are also addressed, followed by a list of how-to's on friendship. Sheehy, a Texas-based journalist with a social science background, aimed to present a cross section of American women, but the reader will notice that those most often referred to are healthy, well-educated women at a mid- to upper-income level. Numerous anecdotes from the 204 women Sheehy interviewed illustrate her points, a feature that should attract a public library audience. Academics will find many questions for further doctoral research. Sheehy has done her homework; this work is well documented with dissertations and published papers covering a wide range of topics. Recommended for public and academic libraries. Margaret Cardwell, Georgia Perimeter Coll., Clarkston
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 416 pages
• Publisher: William Morrow; 1st edition (July 25, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0380974304
• ISBN-13: 978-0380974306
• Product Dimensions: 9.6 x 6.5 x 1.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.6 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #72,358 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Book For Those Who Value Their Friendships, September 3, 2000

By 

Nancy M. McCoy (Willis, TX) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Connecting: The Enduring Power of Female Friendship (Hardcover)

This is Sandy Sheehy's Opus, written after 5 years of research, with girls and women of all ages about the nature and scope of their friendships. Without a doubt, it constitutes a fascinating study. In addition, however, the inevitable result is a validation of the intrinsic value of these relationships as well as a collage of insights into how they benefit those interviewed in all other aspects of their lives. For example, female friendship was not generally seen to detract from the relationships of the women with the men in their lives. Rather, it typically enhanced those relationships. This book struck a chord with me, as I am in my early forties and experiencing something of an increased need for meaningful, female friendship. The author says that she saw this phenomenon over and over in women in my age group. Many other parts struck me as very relevant to my life as well. I highly recommend this book.

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars this book should be gifted to everyone's truest friends, August 8, 2000

By 

jill cohen (ny, ny, usa) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Connecting: The Enduring Power of Female Friendship (Hardcover)

after reading this tremendously readable book, i decided that my oldest friends from childhood and my closest friends of today, must have this book. readers will want to dispense this like candy to special people. The author makes it a comfortable read, an enjoyable read, an awakening read, and a pure delight. She has put in obvious hard work in capturing truths about friendships (honest, and both good and bad) in people's lives. it's a treasure. stop reading this review now, and just order it! you will bring joy to yourself and to those who receive it from you! nobody has touched on the connection of friendships in such a powerful way!

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Insightful and entertaining, I recommend it, November 23, 2002

By A Customer

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Connecting: The Enduring Power of Female Friendship (Hardcover)

Reading this book gave me a whole new perspective and insight into my friendships. The author uses more than just entertaining anecdotal stories from women, though she includes plenty of those. She also references research perfomed by others in defining different types of female friendships and how they help fulfill our needs. This was one of the few non-fiction books that I couldn't wait to read each night. Not only was it uplifting and entertaining but I gained some valuable insight as well.