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Connection Parenting: Parenting Through Connection Instead of Coercion, Through Love Instead of Fear, 2nd Edition Paperback – July 7, 2007

ISBN-13: 978-1932279764 ISBN-10: 1932279768 Edition: 2nd

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Connection Parenting: Parenting Through Connection Instead of Coercion, Through Love Instead of Fear, 2nd Edition + Playful Parenting + How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 212 pages
  • Publisher: Wyatt-MacKenzie Publishing; 2nd edition (July 7, 2007)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1932279768
  • ISBN-13: 978-1932279764
  • Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.6 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (28 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #277,187 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Parenting experts from around the world have embraced Pam Leo's work. Dr. Christiane Northup writes: "Pam's Connection Parenting is utterly transformational. If all parents read and applied its wisdom, the world would be transformed. Pam Leo has been working with families for more than thirty years as a childcare provider, parent educator, childbirth educator, doula, grief work facilitator, and parent mentor. With a passion for learning, teaching, and writing about optimal human development Pam was the Empowered Parents columnist for the Parent & Family paper in Maine for over ten years.

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Customer Reviews

4.8 out of 5 stars
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See all 28 customer reviews
I would highly recommend this book for the parent of any young child.
M. Havens
Before reading this book, I probably spent about 75% of my time with my daughter yelling.
Sharon Anne Osenenko
Pam Leo's book on Connection Parenting makes you feel good just from reading it.
Ilene L. Dillon

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

65 of 66 people found the following review helpful By Arun Pradhan on December 31, 2007
Format: Paperback
There seem to be no bounds to clever and innovative ways of changing children's behaviour. Common approaches span anything from spanking, time outs, Magic 1, 2, 3, to positive discipline and offering rewards. The commonality of these "techniques" are that they begin with the aim of controling, manipulating or altering behaviour.

Then there is the other world view. This alternative attempts to delve beyond a child's behaviour and focuses on who the child is, their intrinsic motivation and the importance or primacy of their relationship with the parent in that context.

This often involves understanding, meeting needs and connecting with a child. There are no quick fixes here, it is an approach based on non coercive, respectful and loving relationships. For practitioners of this parenting approach behaviour becomes another form of communication and expression, rather than something to be controlled or changed.

This world view also has its fair share of acronyms, books and techniques - often to the point where parents wanting to explore it will not know where to begin. Well at least that is one problem solved...

If you are indeed curious about and open to this alternative approach then Pam Leo's Connection Parenting represents a fantastic introduction, distillation and road map for your journey. (Pam Leo pictured right.)

The book is a product from Pam Leo's more than 55,000 hours of experience with children and stems from a Connection Parenting Course she initiated in 1982 entitled "Meeting the Needs of Children". The years spent developing, refining and simplifying her message pay off with a strong clarity and economy in her book, making it extremely readable.
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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful By Sharon Anne Osenenko on November 24, 2008
Format: Paperback
I have two daughters; the elder is 3 and a half and the baby is 10 months old. After the birth of my second daughter, I started to notice more "attention-seeking" behavior from my older daughter. A friend recommended Pam's book, and actually got me enrolled in a teleseminar with Pam Leo through [...]

I was amazed, as I put the principles into practice, the immediate and LASTING changes that my daughter and I both experienced. As I learned new ways to relate to what she was feeling, she learned to trust me more. And as I learned more of the reasons behind some of her behaviors, I learned to trust her more.

Before reading this book, I probably spent about 75% of my time with my daughter yelling. I work 40 hours a week, so we don't get to see each other all day every day, either. The time we have together is so precious to me, but I was completely yelling it away, because of my own frustration at her lack of cooperation. I have learned new ways to respond, new ways to head off a lack of cooperation before it even starts. Now, my daughter looks for ways to help me before I even ask.

I recommend this book to every parent. It should be required reading before you have kids :)
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13 of 14 people found the following review helpful By Gemma Louise on June 28, 2009
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I am a mom of two energetic, strong-willed boys. I have read many parenting books, blogs and articles in search of solutions to the problem of how to "discipline" them without losing my temper and my sanity and without being a marshmallow parent. I love this book. A key phrase it contains is, "bad behavior is an expression of an unmet need." Ms. Leo explains to us that when kids "misbehave," they have actually gone beyond the breaking point and are asking for help with a desperate measure--because at age 3, 4, 5 or what have you they do not know how to articulate what is happening with them. We, as parents, need to decipher the behavior. Is it hunger? Rest? Are her or his feelings hurt from something that happened earlier in the day that was not resolved? This does not mean that the undesirable behavior is okay, and that we let it slide. It means that we find out what is going on through communication and get the kid back on track with communication and love and appropriate, calm, respectful treatment. As parents, we tend to tune into the cries and signals of newborns; however, as children get older we tend to focus on "discipline": time outs, loss of privileges, reprimands and recriminations more often than not doled out in a loud, authoritarian voice. After all, we're supposed to be in charge, right? Pam Leo shows us how to treat children with respect. To listen to them, and to gently set limits in an appropriate manner. Again, I love this book. I highly recommend it to parents of all children, particularly parents of young children going through the particularly difficult 2 to 5 stage.
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26 of 31 people found the following review helpful By katiespace on March 2, 2009
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I was excited to get this book because of the high reviews, but I turned out to be very dissatisfied.

I will admit, this book does give some food for thought which is why I gave it three rather than two stars.

However, the book is deeply grounded in idealism rather than realism. It gives you a goal, but no advice on how to practically put it into action.

At the heart is that if your kids are having behavior problems, it's because their needs aren't being fully met. There is sparse advice on activities to try to meet these needs.

There is also no reference to any research to support the ideas presented, and the book is written almost as though it was just a stream of consciousness rather than as something meant to be a professional guide.
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