Customer Reviews

Conquering Deception

5 star:		(27)
4 star:		(11)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

I had already read several books in the category of body language, reading people, word analysis, et al, when I got this one. I was pleasantly surprised, then, to find material here that had not been presented in the other books. Further, it was very insightful, realistic, and highly useable information that I've used since in a variety of conversation settings. I've read the 48 Laws book, which advocates deceipt, and found this one parallels some of the same points, but takes them in quite different directions. It equips the reader to recognize deception rather than practice it, which I've found renders much more power in either a business or a personal situation. I've given this book to several friends to read, and they all come back with the same feedback: Fantastic!

If you want to hear what is really being said by others, read this book!

Jef Nance, a former police interrogator pulls no punches is this informative book. After reading and actually applying some of what I learned, I realized how powerful this information is. The information herein not only can help one to detect deception but also can help one to become better at reading people for other purposes.

Conquering Deception is written from the standpoint of a police detective who has years of experience in interrogating people. Putting the information in this book to use doesn't require that you go around interrogating people. The author points out that the best interrogations don't seem like interrogations because he talks about "mirroring" the other person's "plane of navigation" and putting the person at ease. When asking people harmless questions, I have become more observant of which direction the eyes break contact, nose rubs, and scratching the temples (which isn't mentioned in this book). After thinking about what was asked, the response and the accompanying behavior; I was to a large extent able to tell when someone was trying to deceive me. In meeting people in everyday life, conqureing deception can tell us whether or not we're going to get hired after an interview or whether or not a member of the opposite sex is really interested in us. Chapter 7 "The Eyes Have It" and the discussion on page 185 about the "three whites of the eyes" are by far the best parts of the book because the eyes can tell us so much about a person's true mental state.

Applying the information will require patience and practice. One can become a true pro at reading people from the powerful information contained herein.

This book is quite effective (maybe too effective) at translating police interrogation tactics in a way that you can use in everyday conversations, and like the literature says, you don't have to be overly inquisitive or accusatory to make them work. I say 'maybe too effective' because I'm not sure that the average person needs to be privy to this infromation. Like the author, I'm a former police officer. I liked the book, and as above, it's highly effective--but this is material that the average officer doesn't even know, much less the average citizen. It is powerful stuff--if these principles of conversation have been used to get suspects to confess to murdering antoehr person, it's easy to see that they would be powerful in everyday conversation. I can see that it would give great advantage to people in sales, management, personal relationships, etc, or anyone, really, who doesn't care to be duped. I give it 5 stars because it's that good; I can't in good conscience give it less, though I have to disagree with Mr. Nance putting out material that has until now been known only to a select group of people (trained police investigaors).

Cops are known as being pretty savvy, generally, when it comes to people. My take was this author is trying to impart some of that people-saviness to the reader through some very insightful techniques and his real-world experience. Another reviewer hit it: this is not some Academian that researched and reblended somebody else's knowledge, which there is enough of already. And symptoms of deception are not limited to criminal suspects as some have naively claimed. I've watched presidential candidates on down and seen these indicators of deception. They are given off unknowingly, and people don't study how to avoid transmitting them, and most likely couldn't help but do it anyway. Don't let any one cheat you out of this book, theres good reason you don't see dozens of used ones for sale here. I'm keeping mine.

Essentially, this book advocates the use of STRATEGY in conversation, and furnishes the reader with a host of techniques that were originated by police interviewers. I found it interesting to read, but even MORE impressive when I began to put the author's principles and techniques to work--I pay much more attention now to the words of others, and moreover, I now know how to READ the true meaning of what they've said...fascinating, GREAT stuff, really WORKS! Read Other books on the subjects of lying, influence, etc., but all the ones I've found are written by psychologists and the like, shallow compared to this, their limited experience was suddenly evident when I read this book. This guy's time as a cop, etc., has given him isnsights that no one else has (or has written, at least, that I'm aware of). My only negative is that I would like to have seen MORE on the meanigns of seeing a person rub their nose--very cool! Other than that, the best 12 bucks I've spent in a while...pick this one up if you want to KNOW what other people are really THINKING, really SAYING. Could have called this, 'THE MIND READER'S HANDBOOK'.

The methods taught to you in this book are so easy and so effective.
Here is a true story that inspired me to write this review.
I suspected (knew) that an employee had stolen something from work (value of about $600) and highly suspect he had done this in the past. He was recently told he was being let go for other reasons. (Thats when he went on his little spree). Using the techniques in this book, I was able to have him return all the items and not once did I have to accuse him of taking them or, threaten, or even ask if he took them (that's a no-no).
AMAZING !!! I would have nevr use this technique naturally although when you use it, it sounds natural and after youi practice it becomes natural.

It's not just extreme situations when you use the info in the book, it's much more often. It's not as much about detecting lies/decption, as it is about asking the questions that make it difficult for people to deceive. It's about not putting people in the position to lie, instead of asking for lies, as many of us do naturaly. If people have to work to lie, they generally won't, if we hand them the opportunity to lie, they might.

Wow! You cannot go wrong with this book. It stands waaaay out from the dozens of similar books I've read, primarily due to the clarity of the authors writing and explanations. Not all, or even most, of the information is new (students of NLP will recognize the eye-accessing cues), but this author succeeds in making everything down-to-earth practical and understandable. Of course, in the best NLP tradition he illustrates all of his points with concrete stories of how he came be aware of each technique and then how he was able to use it from then on. And because he is a former cop instead of an academician, the stories involve real people and real situations that everyone can recognize, if not from their own lives, then from TV cop shows. This book couldn't be any better, and if he comes out with any other books I'd buy it in a second. Go for it!

I've worked for 8 years in the criminal justice system and think that I'm a pretty good "reader" of deceptiveness, but have always relied on my gut feelings without being able to pinoint why I believe someone is lying to me. With the use of his techniques, I've been able to pinpoint specific examples of deceptive body and speech language. I've even had success using some of the techniques over the phone and felt confident with the results.

I've shared the book with my coworkers and they have also been implementing the techniques with success.

i think this book could have just as easily been titled, 'how to gain power in conversations'. it deals with deceipt at length, but the overall thrust of the book seems to be toward gathering insights from the subtlties of the things people say (but don't realize they are saying) it also has a section(s?) that explains how to phrase what you say to have greater effect on others. interesting book, well worth the money.

this book could have been titled "NLP in fieldwork and the kinesic interview" and we would have had a much more accurate idea of what it was about. I did enjoy tasting how Nance blended NLP technology with the problems of information gathering under adverse circumstances. It is also a good way to introduce those with no NLP experience to the idea of NLP's value in negiotiating and questioning processes where there is an adversarial relationship. He drops a few interesting tidbits from the inside, such as 20% of career police may fit the sociopathic personality style... takes one to know one it seems...
All the same, if I wanted to gain a little more edge in my negotiating style, I would nead this book. I seriously doubt I'd be able to "instantly spot when others try to manipulate you to get their way" as the cover manipulatively claims for itself...