The Conscious Bride: Women Unveil Their True Feelings about Getting Hitched (Women Talk About) [Paperback]

Sheryl Paul (Author)

Book Description

Series: Women Talk About | Publication Date: December 2000

While family and future in-laws squabble over the menu and the table decorations, brides are supposed to sit, smile, and bask in the prospect of their happiness, even though that prospect is guaranteed to include the post-wedding depression that hits some 90 percent of women during their first year of marriage. This is a must-have book for any woman who has found the partner she wants to be with for the rest of her life and has made up her mind to celebrate that commitment.

Bridal counselor Sheryl Paul interviewed a diverse group of women who share their true feelings about the many concerns that can make an engagement a roller coaster of emotional ups and downs. Along with practical advice and support, you will find welcome acknowledgement of shared doubts and feats that so often run amok as wedding bells take their toll.

Editorial Reviews

Review

From the Publisher

Those blushing brides deal with plenty of complex emotions before they make their way down the aisle. Anxiety over the planning of the wedding and stressful family issues, not to mention concerns about marriage itself, can make an engagement as much a trial as a pleasure. This frank look at a bride's inner life provides advance warning, support, and understanding for women getting married. Led by a counselor specializing in the issues of brides-to-be, a diverse group of brides share their true feelings about such issues as being given away, wearing a veil, changing their name, and closing the hotel room door only to find themselves suddenly - married. The author unravels the psychology behind common difficulties and offers practical advice for handling the fears and doubts that so often run amok as wedding bells take their toll.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 220 pages
• Publisher: New Harbinger Publications; 1 edition (December 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1572242132
• ISBN-13: 978-1572242135
• Product Dimensions: 7.6 x 5.2 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (52 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #42,594 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #39 in Books > Crafts, Hobbies & Home > Weddings > Planning

More About the Author

I pioneered the field of bridal counseling in 1998. I have since counseled thousands of people worldwide through my private practice, my bestselling books, "The Conscious Bride" and "The Conscious Bride's Wedding Planner," and my websites, www.consciousweddings.com and www.consciousmotherhood.com. I'm regarded as the international expert on the wedding transition and have appeared several times on "The Oprah Winfrey Show", as well as on "Good Morning America" and other top television, radio, and newspapers around the globe. I live in Boulder, CO with my husband and two young sons.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

66 of 67 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Emotional preparation for the wedding, February 27, 2001

By 

A. Maxham "Just trying to help..." - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Conscious Bride: Women Unveil Their True Feelings about Getting Hitched (Women Talk About) (Paperback)

While these 6 inch thick bridal magazines have ideas on wedding gowns, honeymoon locales, and bridesmaid dresses, this book is wonderful for the emotional changes that will take place as you prepare for your wedding. For me the single most valuable aspect of this book is that it is *validating*- that I'm not the only one who has experienced lows during this "happiest" time in my life. Through the use of other brides' experiences and quotes, this book validates the losses (e.g., place of Dad in your life), the fear of changes (loss of name, loss of single independence), the disappointments (the ring, the proposal, the absence of deceased loved ones), and generally the feeling of being overwhelmed by the giant Wedding Creature that seems to overtake your life. I didn't really get "advice" per se out of this book- mostly just the feeling that I'm not alone and weird if I experience a negative emotion as a I plan and anticipate my wedding. I don't really need advice- I just wanted to hear I wasn't alone.

As other reviewers have pointed out, the author does talk about losing one's "maidenhead" and the author does have a tendency to relate things to mythology. While another reviewer had a problem with the maidenhead section- I really didn't. For example, the author relates part of "maidenhead" to the loss (or potential loss) of one's maiden name. I'm an older (31) professional (Ph.D.) bride, and I've struggled with the loss of my maiden name and my identity (and whether I want to lose my name at all). The author even indicates that older brides may have bigger problem giving up a name that they've had, identified with, and used professionally for so long. She also discussed the loss of life as a single woman, which is a huge deal the longer you are one.

In short: I personally don't believe that this book is limited to younger brides. I've got my own house and live in a different time zone from my parents, but I am still experiencing some of these issues discussed in the book. But all you've got are two different opinions from two different Amazon reviewers that you don't know from sticks on the ground.

The use of mythology didn't do much for me, but perhaps others might relate to it as a way of making one of the author's points more clear.

Did I relate to absolutely *everything* in the book? Of course not- but could I expect to? (For example, my mom has been wonderful and very unpushy- so the parts dealing with pushy moms aren't really my deal). Overall, I highly recommend this book. And look: Given all the ridiculous amounts of money brides spend on those big fat bridal magazines that have all the same advertisements in them- just put down one of them, get this book, and see if it does anything for you.

54 of 55 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This book fills a cavernous niche for brides and newlyweds, December 6, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: The Conscious Bride: Women Unveil Their True Feelings about Getting Hitched (Women Talk About) (Paperback)

I went to a bookstore yesterday looking for relief in a book about my post wedding angst. Viola! I'm in my second month of marriage and my husband and I are discovering why they say the first year is the most difficult. We're both definitely going through our own personal growing pains. Sometimes it doesn't feel like the "us" I've known at all. So, upon rapidly purchasing Sheryl's book and reading as much as I could squeeze in last night, I'm at least feeling more assured that these feelings are quite normal.

The word "therapy" has continually popped into my head since he proposed last December 30th. Fortunately, since I've gone through my share of self exploration, I felt I was equipped with enough tools to deal with my new emotions. And I do feel I gave them their due credence. I was told I was the calmest bride many of my guests had ever seen. And I did feel calm, serene even.

However, immediately after the wedding was over, I missed it. I felt it had slipped through time as quickly as Cinderella's carriage turned into a pumpkin. Once the wedding was over, I was off my "pedestal". What a crash. Princess syndrome aside, the post wedding reality of the "forever" commitment had propelled me into the depressed and freaked out state that lead me to the bookstore last night. "The Conscious Bride" book is just the affirmation I needed that I'm on the right track in realizing this is quite an adjustment both my husband and myself have taken on. I purchased two copies - my sister-in-law is engaged to be married in May. I'm sure she will be pleased to read it during her engagement.

17 of 17 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Essential for all brides, October 5, 2002

By 

Danielle (Houston, TX) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Conscious Bride: Women Unveil Their True Feelings about Getting Hitched (Women Talk About) (Paperback)

This book is essential for every bride to be and for anyone who has been a bride. I found this book 3 years after I was married...I only wish it was available around the time of my wedding! It would have helped me so much! Reading it now, it helped me to realize that the crazy feelings I was having were ok and even normal.

Some of the things I could do without in the book: the frequent references to mythology and the way the author seemed to imply that in some ways you would become different after the wedding...(I am almost tempted to encourage brides to read this book well after their wedding for that reason).

A great self-help bridal book to help deal with the roller coaster of feelings, emotions, and changing states of mind of the bride.