Consumer Joe: Harassing Corporate America, One Letter at a Time [Paperback]

Paul Davidson (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 9, 2003

In the bestselling tradition of The Lazlow Letters and Letters from a Nut, screenwriter Paul Davidson has been firing off humble but humorous letters to Fortune 500 companies to find answers to such hot-button questions like why hasn’t Minute Maid begun to sell an all pulp, juice-free product yet, and whether it’s safe to microwave a bowl of Marshmallow Fluff on high for ten minutes. And the funny thing is . . . consumer-care departments everywhere have been writing back to him, addressing his queries with deadpan seriousness.

Collecting dozens of selections from Davidson’s funniest correspondence, Consumer Joe uncovers why a box of fifty envelopes only contained forty-seven and how colorblind people are supposed to tell whether their Ziploc baggies (“yellow and blue makes green”) are properly sealed, while making numerous product-improvement suggestions along the way (such as adding Tuna Melt flavor to the Jamba Juice product line).

Taking aim at the increasingly advertising-sponsored society, Consumer Joe features utterly absurd but irresistible missives to companies ranging from Barnes & Noble and Fed-Ex to Southwest Airlines and Taco Bell. Full of kvetches we all can relate to, Consumer Joe is poised to become the patron saint of every beleaguered shopper.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

This compendium of oddball customer query and complaint letters should tickle the ribs of anyone who's ever considered writing a letter to protest an inferior product or solve a merchandise mystery (e.g., why are Wendy's hamburgers square?). Hollywood writer Davidson, working under the pseudonym David Paulson, reprints some 100 letters he wrote to American companies, as well their representatives' responses to his rather unusual comments and requests. His letter to the Jamba Juice Corporation suggests new flavors (tuna melt, Thanksgiving Dinner) to supplement their popular healthy shots. "I can't quite understand how people are able to swallow that Wheat Grass stuff you grind up for them," he writes. "It tastes like you fell on your face in a game of soccer and just happened to have your mouth open." After Jamba writes back, expressing appreciation for his creativity and their immediate testing of his "concoctions," he follows up with another letter in which he recommends publicizing their products through an activity on Fear Factor. Other pranks include sending a five dollar bill to a "Sir or Madam" at RadioShack ("I was handed it by an elderly customer...I had believed it was stolen from an open cash register"), for which he receives a thoughtful reply and two "$10.00 'Customer Appreciation Dollars'"; harassing Ben &Jerry's ("We're sorry to hear that you are seeing a psychologist because you haven't heard from us about your flavor suggestion," their letter reads); and asking the Marshmallow Fluff folks if "nuking it in the microwave for 10 minutes and then freezing it" will make a marshmallow ice-cream pop (it won't). Highbrow humor it ain't, but it is certainly, as Davidson himself puts it, "damn good bathroom reading."
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review

"I couldn't put it down. Some of the funniest writing since 'Seinfeld'."
-Jerry Stiller

"It's hard to know which are funnier: Paul Davidson's facetious letters to Fortune 500 companies or the corporate stooges' equally clueless replies. Read Consumer Joe yourself and decide."
-Andy Borowitz, humorist for The New Yorker and author of Who Moved My Soap? The CEO's Guide to Surviving in Prison

"Hilarious. Paul Davidson razzes corporate America with the swift sword of Michael Moore, the energy of Richard Simmons, the wit of Seinfeld and the grace of Gilligan. From all-pulp orange juice to plucking his unibrow, this book will have you laughing out loud...at least until you realize just what kind of country we live in. Then of course, you'll want to take it on the plane when you make your exile."
-Gwen Macsai, Author of "Lipshtick", NPR Contributor, Creator of ABC's "What About Joan"

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 212 pages
• Publisher: Broadway; 1 edition (September 9, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 076791502X
• ISBN-13: 978-0767915021
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 7.3 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (16 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,232,574 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

It is true that most of the free world knows Paul Davidson best for his side-splitting humor book Consumer Joe: Harassing Corporate America One Letter At A Time (Random House/Broadway Books) which stormed onto the scene and almost, just barely, brought peace to everyone on Earth. But when Davidson is not harassing corporate America, he is lending his talents to a variety of other time consuming media projects like his second humor book, The Lost Blogs (Warner Books, May 2006), the TV version of Consumer Joe, and his screenwriting career. In addition he s also produced a slew of shows that range from ABCs The Mole, The Benefactor and FOXs The Princes of Malibu. When Paul is not obsessing over visual media, he is a regular contributor to Wired and Mental_Floss magazines, and a commentator for NPRs All Things Considered. And lest we forget the most important of them all, Pauls high-traffic weblog Words For My Enjoyment (http://pauldavidson.net) racks in over 2,000 unique visitors a day.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

12 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Funniest Thing I've Read In a Long, Long Time, October 3, 2003

By 

"fabepm" (Los Angeles, CA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Consumer Joe: Harassing Corporate America, One Letter at a Time (Paperback)

I rushed out to buy this book after listening to an interview with the author on a popular morning radio show. Mind you, this is not something I am prone to do very often, but the guy sounded really funny on the radio and some of the letters that were read on-air almost made me pee my drive-time-traffic pants.

Well, after reading through it a total of one-and-a-half times (some pages were so funny, I had to read again), I am very pleased to report that the book did not disappoint - and in fact, far surpassed my expectations.

The letters he writes to major corporations are truly hilarious. These are all companies that I use, or have used on a regular basis, so reading the letters was not only entertaining, but also a kind of wish-fulfillment on my part. And then, the corporate replies.... Just knowing that someone had to spend the time to write a straight-faced response (and in some cases, not-so-straight-faced) tickled me to no end. Although I do have to express my surprise that some of the companies actually displayed a little sense of humor.

Bottom line: If you like to laugh, buy this book! I've already more copies for Christmas presents!! Sure to become a fave coffee table book in your house as well. And word to the wise: be sure to relieve your bladder before you read!

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious!, September 9, 2003

By A Customer

This review is from: Consumer Joe: Harassing Corporate America, One Letter at a Time (Paperback)

How many of us have ever been dissatisfied with a product or some kind of service and went home muttering about how "we were going to write a letter"? And then, when it came down to it, we didn't cause we just figured no one was ever gonna take us seriously. Consumer Joe has done what we failed to do, and with hilarious results. Every letter goes to companies I've heard of, from Coca Cola to BattleBots to Martha Stewart -- so funny... And what I haven't liked about books like this in the past are the lack of responses -- this book, every letter has a response from the company. It's awesome! Pick it up!

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Good Times, December 13, 2006

By 

Teach "Lover of Science" (Lexington, KY USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Consumer Joe: Harassing Corporate America, One Letter at a Time (Paperback)

I keep this in my guest bathroom. You can hear people giggling in there as they read the stories. I thought it was fantastic, because someone finally asked the questions I wanted to.