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(May 02, 2008)
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The invitation from Edgar Pelican arrived at Dr. Clayton Niles' office, by courier. It was ivory-colored, gilt-edged, watermarked, scented with chicory and embossed with the Pelican family crest: two eagles devouring a duck. A certified check accompanied the summons, favoring Dr. Niles in the amount of one thousand dollars.
Clayton settled his lean, six-foot frame in the swivel-chair behind his desk and studied the jagged signature on the draft. "An expensive way to request a psychiatrist's time," he mused. Then he scratched his thinning blonde hair. "Daddy's little boy must be up to his ass in trouble, again."
Prone upon the yellow leather couch across the oak-paneled room, was one of his patients; Mrs. Abbot. She was a plump, sixtyish accountant with blue hair, a taste for floral dresses, preferences for suede wedgies, and a long-standing relationship with support-hose. She also had fantasies for her teenage hair-dresser: Ramón.
"My husband, Herbert, says Ramón is gay!" she wailed. Then Mrs. Abbot's blue-veined hands became animated as she quickly added, "But I don't believe it. The way Ramón sings to me during my cuts; the way he cracks his gum during my shampoos; I just know it can't be. Do you think I'm being a slut because I find Ramón so attractive, Doctor? Herbert, does. He says, 'there is no slut like an old slut."

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