Customer Reviews

Birth Control is Sinful in the Christian Marriages and also Robbing God of Priesthood Children!!

5 star:		(58)
4 star:		(14)
3 star:		(5)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(47)

 

 

My wife and I were actually quite impressed with this item. Between the two of us it took 9 days to finish and I must say I found it hard to get used to during the first few sittings, but gradualy became more comfortable as time went on.

Although neither of us paid too much attention to the content, the sheer volume and quality of the paper contained within was pleasantly suprizing. The paper feels crisp, heavy and tough, yet the pages seperate with just the slightest tug of a thumb and forefinger.

The only real controversy this book created for my wife and I was mostly my fault. You see after I finished the last page I was too lazy to replace the book with another and I left the empty cover sitting on top of the sistern. Let me tell you I copped a nagging!

Overall the item was an interesting change, but we found it a bit expensive and not as suitable as the regular stuff available at the supermarket. Together my wife and I have decided just to stick with normal sorbent two-ply rolls from now on, and would suggest others do the same.

Despite being written entirely in BLOCK CAPITALS, this self-published work conveys its message elegantly. In fact, you don't even need to read it to understand the main argument being put forward.

True, by avoiding this book you will miss out on the precise location of the heretical surfboard worshipped by the British royal family and the sinister significance of Abe Lincoln's unholy quadrille. You will also miss out on the explanation of why the Hairy-Eared Dwarf Lemur is really God's own tree-dwelling angel-on-earth and on the coded instructions showing how to grow a prize-winning mushroom, which the author cunningly gleaned from a close textural analysis of St. Paul's third birthday card to the Corinthians.

That aside, my big problem with this book is that the 'birth control is sinful' message is difficult for most regular-looking people to put into practice. I wonder if this lack of guidance is down to the author's own sexual inexperience brought about by her scary fanaticism and a face that would scare a dog out of a butcher's shop.

That's right kids.

Don't be doing the sex thing.

But if you are be doing the sex thing, don't be taking no pills or putting no rubber things on your ding dong to prevent god's babies.

After all, we need more crazy people to write more nonsense like this.

I've found this book to be extremely helpful for me in helping me beat back my disgusting urges for the sinful, tempting, curvaceous, sweaty, heaving bodies of women. By reading this I've learned to understand that fornication is only for procreation not for the unbridled enjoyment it otherwise provides. Having sex without making babies is akin to eating a large, moist, hot, panting piece of chocolate cake without washing your plate afterwards. Where is the fun in that?

Two small quibbles: One, the book may encourage folks to forego christian marriages to try out a less restrictive religious marriage in order to partake in non-productive sex. Two, I've found that my strident recommendations of this book to all women I happen to look at that may tempt me with their swaying, rhythmic, hypnotic hips (which ends up being every woman I see. Succubi!) have kept me from being able to form a relationship with a woman, carnal or otherwise, for years. Perhaps this book itself is a form of birth control, which would then mean this book, too, is sinful.

Well,I'm very grateful I came across this book. I was going to do the 'sensible' thing and plan my family according to my income,health and emotional issues,but now I realise I was wrong & sinful for wanting to have a 'manageable' number of kids.Unfortunately my spouse likes to do the wild thing a LOT and I now have 20 of God's little miracles to feed.Thankfully,I've been able to take a rest from my marital obligations lately as he's either left me or I've lost him under the pile of nappies.A shame,really,as permanently being in maternity clothes makes dressing choices in the morning SO much easier.Oh,well,the nappies come in handy for my untreated obstetric fistula.
We're now living under a bridge,& I can no longer afford my anti-pychotic medication but God will provide.Especially as we're planning on eating little Arthur on Tuesday.If I sell Becky to the knackers we'll have food til Thursday.Now,excuse me,I must go.Eustace is near the drain hole poking something nasty with a stick and the blue goblins are telling me to drown Egibald.Which is insane.Eugenia is the one that has to go.Anyway,this book is a godsend for those days I feel inexplicably depressed & can't connect to my children.Probably just need to pray more.Eustace! I told you! Put that stick down now! You don't know where that dead body has been!!
My one criticism is that the font is small and hard to read by candlelight. Other than that,it's a brilliant book.Thick enough to kill the cockroaches on the first go.

THIS BOOK HAS GIVEN ME A NEW LEASE ON LIFE: I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD USE > PUNCTUATION > IN THIS WAY BEFORE: BUT NOW THE HOLYSPIRIT HAS GIVEN ME THE ABILITY TO> CHALLENGE SOCIAL PUNCTUATIONAL NORMS!! PRAISE JESUS!!

I'm sorry, I thought this was a book about birth control and Jesus, but it appears to be written in FORTRAN.

I found that reading this book was quite an epiphany. In fact, reading this book was a lot like dating my last girlfriend - both were overpriced, and all I got out of it was a sore wrist.

THERE ONCE WAS A BOOK IN ALL CAPS
IT MADE CHRISTIAN PEOPLE GO CLAP(S)
AT $135
IT KEPT SINNERS ALIVE
AND THEY READ IT WHILE TAKING THEIR CRAPS

Say what you will about this book, but it is a DIRECT MESSAGE FROM GOD that was sent to this woman. She dutifully typed it all down. Bless her.
ALSO, GOD DEMANDED SHE PUT IT IN UPPERCASE! THAT WASN'T HER DECISION! GOD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS - ESPECIALLY IN REGARDS TO TYPOGRAPHY.