Customer Reviews

The Control Freak

5 star:		(6)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

Les Parrott is a Christian psychology professor and author of several best sellers. He is well-known in the Christian community and is the founder and co-director of the Center for Relationship Development at Seattle Pacific University.

I have found Dr. Parrott's writings very useful in my ministry for adult children of abusive or controlling birth-families, Luke 17:3 Ministries. In this book, Dr. Parrott teaches us how to recognize a control freak and discusses their top ten characteristics- obnoxious, tenacious, invasive, obsessive, perfectionist, critical, irritable, demanding, rigid, and closeminded.

A Control Freak has little respect for privacy and snoops in areas that aren't her business. It doesn't matter how illogical his argument or how insignificant his point, he won't let go. He often zeroes in on some minor detail and doesn't care about the big picture. Compromise is unspeakable- she is right and everybody else is wrong. She sets standards you never agreed to live by. Anything and everything is cause for a tantrum. He will make ridiculous demands and insist or coerce you into doing things his way. He uses criticism as a terrific tool to get people to do what he wants them to.

There is a Control-Freak Self-Test which will tell you if you know a control-freak. Yes or No questions include: If something isn't exactly to this person's liking, he or she reflexively points it out- even at the risk of embarrassing others; It seems that winning an argument is more important to this person than finding the best solution; and If this person doesn't get what he or she wants, you can count on a good display of anger, pouting, or the silent treatment.

The WADIT Principle is explained in a grimly humorous way. We continue forever to do something silly that doesn't make sense because of the WADIT Principle- because that is the way We Always Did It.

Various types of Control-Freaks are discussed, as well as how to cope with them, including chapters on The Pushy Parent and The Invasive In-Law. Each chapter includes a self-test so you can see if you have a Pushy Parent or Invasive In-Law. Setting boundaries, saying "No", forgiveness, identifying your own reactive style, and making decisions are all discussed. We are also taught how to tame our own controlling tendencies.

This is a very interesting and informative book for those with controlling family members, or other controlling people in their lives, and I highly recommend it.

This book gives some practical help for both Control Freaks as well as the people that live with them. Parrott has a sense of humor and the book was easy to read, comprehend and implement. I would highly recommend the book for anyone who is or who deals with a Control Freak on an ongoing basis.

Loving 3 control freaks who are in my family; this book has totally enlightened me on the "Why?" and banished my greatest fear - that I would become one too. Excellent writing kept me glued to the pages - I inhaled the entire book in two days. If you ARE a Control Freak (and that's not all bad - just needs to be redirected, which you'll learn how to do in the book) or if you love a Control Freak - READ IT - it could save your most cherished relationships.

As a previously self-diagnosed Control Freak, this book is a real eye opener. Good for both the CF and those who live or work with CF's. An honest appraisal and reading of the suggestions was very helpful.

I picked up this book becuase I had problems with a few control freaks in my life. Reading it gave me a new perspective on why people control and how wide the scope can be. I'm also shocked to realise that a person like myself who's struggling with control freaks also has some control issues. Ironical as it sounds, Les is right to say that "it takes one to know one".

I'll recommend this book to anyone who's dealing with controlling people in their lives. It also provides suggestions on ways to improve those relationships.

As a person who deals with numerous control freaks, and who possesses the traits myself, I can appreciate Parrot's advice here for handling folks who refuse to do things any other way than their way. I can also appreciate his tips for tempering the control freak within me. His words are candid, thoughtful, and enlightening.

This book is a good read for anyone who interacts a great deal with people. Strained relationships can be mended and strengthened by taming the control freaks around us, and most importantly the control freak within us.

A good book, especially if YOU are the control freak. I'm still working at it; it's a day-to-day struggle to realize that overcontrolling only hurts those you love.

Author Parrott is usually right on the mark, but not in this book that is overly negative and focused on how the reader should deal with people often misdiagnosed as "control freaks."

The term is never fully defined and instead just about any negative personality is considered a control freak. Wanting "control" is not the same thing as wanting "order" or "perfection," and often times these terms are interchangeable here. In one silly example, Parrott says that his gardener is a control freak because the guy doesn't show up on a regular schedule!

Anxiety is the seed that causes this type of behavior, which the author states, but he never truly treats this as an anxiety issue. Instead it's more of a personality disorder that is solved by some simple self-discipline, which (when you think about it) means that he is claiming that control freaks can be cured by having more control.

This is not a book to read if you are a control freak--it will only frustrate you. The solutions are few and simplistic. Instead it's intended as a book for people who have to fight for control with spouses and bosses. There are some valid points made and a couple thought-provoking examples. But the book is poorly structured, seems to have been written in a rush and ends up being an inadequate way of dealing with a serious issue.

Oh, yes, this book is about me. I checked this out from the library, and it's so good that I think I'll buy a copy to keep, and one for my parents, and maybe three of my siblings...

One statement that made me stop with my jaw hanging was this one. "Let's make this clear: At the root of all controlling behavior is an attempt to tame our anxiety - not to dominate another person." SO true! Now that I know this, I can face the anxiety head-on and figure out a better solution than being controlling (which is really a lose-lose type of behavior).

And I personally LIKE the "God talk". Since when did talking about God become a bad thing? Thank GOD that our founding fathers came to this land and formed this great nation so they could have freedom of religion!

My mother is the biggest control freak I have ever met. I never knew there were other people out there that were just like her. Granted, I have known other control freaks, but they paled in comparison to my mom, so they were tolerable. While the message I got from this book was a little frustrating (you can't change a control freak), it was still reassuring to know that my father and I are not the only people in this world who have had to deal with this type of person.