In Control: No More Snapping at Your Family, Sulking at Work, Steaming in the Grocery Line, Seething in Meetings, Stuffing Your Frustration [Paperback]

Redford Williams (Author), Virginia Williams (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: February 6, 2007

In this life-changing book--now available in paperback--the creators of the internationally acclaimed Lifeskills workshops draw on groundbreaking research to show readers how to deal with the stresses in their lives that often cause them to lose control. Working equally well for "hot reactors," who tend to blow up when things don't go their way, and "cool reactors," who are more likely to repress their emotions, the easy-to-follow 8-week program will help anyone to cope effectively with a variety of difficult circumstances, from volatile situations at home and at work to smaller annoyances like traffic jams and long checkout lines.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Redford Williams, who teaches psychology and medicine at Duke, has researched the link between hostility and life-threatening illness. In an earlier book, Anger Kills, he and his wife, Virginia, began to write about anger management, and this follow-up presents a comprehensive guide to emotional management, with a solid eight-week program to teach readers how to process negative emotions in healthy ways. The program applies not only to those who actively express anger but to "passive" individuals who "stuff" anger away. The program begins with teaching readers how to identify what they're feeling (e.g., why do you overeat?) and ends with learning to have a more positive outlook. The book also takes a close look at how similar situations are approached emotionally by different people to get far different results. In Control gives the reader simple quizzes as well as time to think through and follow focused exercises week by week. 10 b&w illus. (Mar.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

"Few authors outline the adverse health consequences of anger as well as Redford and Virginia Williams. Their new book relates their years of research in the field, study of behavioral skills, and real-life examples so that readers may ultimately recognize their emotions and remain as their title suggests--In Control."--Congressman Tim Murphy, PhD, and Loriann Hoff Oberlin, MS, authors of Overcoming Passive-Aggression

"Readers interested in living a happier, healthier life will want to learn these skills."--Paul T. Costa Jr., professor of behavioral biology, Johns Hopkins University of Medicine

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Product Details

• Paperback: 288 pages
• Publisher: Rodale Books (February 6, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1594866252
• ISBN-13: 978-1594866258
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 6 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,175,100 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

16 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Emotional Control Within Eight Weeks, June 12, 2006

By 

Dr. Richard G. Petty (Atlanta) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

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This review is from: In Control: No More Snapping at Your Family, Sulking at Work, Steaming in the Grocery Line, Seething in Meetings, Stuffing your Frustration (Hardcover)

This book promises a lot: in effect that if you follow the clearly laid plans, self-control and serenity can be yours within eight weeks. The authors say that greater self-control will improve not just emotional but physical health. Dr Redford Williams was one of the people who first found an apparent link between Type A personality and the development of coronary artery disease, so it is not surprising that the authors focus on this link. More recent research has not been so clear that there is a connection between Type A personality and heart disease, and much interest has shifted toward the "Type D" personality, which refers to the tendency to experience negative emotions and to inhibit the expression of these negative emotions in social interactions. Stress and hostility do seem to be involved in the development of coronary artery disease, and perhaps also other heart and health problems, by lessening our normal heart rate variability.

Leaving aside those technical quibbles, I don't think anyone could deny that gaining greater control of our emotional life is a good thing. Drawing on the burgeoning science of positive psychology, the book begins with self-assessment quiz and ends with advice on increasing your level of optimism.

The main strategies that the authors recommend are certainly sound:
1. Recognize your emotions
2. Weigh the evidence of situations, so that you think before you act
3. Gaining control of your reactions
4. How to resolve problems and implement solutions
5. Assert yourself and learn to say no
6. Improve communication
7. Empathize with others
8. Learn to "look up, " i.e. how to be happy and optimistic

Each chapter is peppered with interesting and appropriate cases.

Most of the advice is intuitive. My only concern with the book, and why I'm giving four stars, is that there is almost too much information in it. I say that with the greatest sympathy: my agent and editor constantly makes the same charge against me! It seemed to me as if the book contained just about every piece of psychological advice that I've ever seen. Including a few techniques that have been shown not to work. The one that jumped out at me was the advice to snap a rubber band against the wrist. Something that was popular many years ago, before empirical research showed that such interruption strategies are not very effective. I have known a few people use the technique with such vigor that they've made their wrists black and blue!

There is nothing about any of the other techniques like thought field therapy that can often be helpful with emotional problems like anger, but since there is little published data on the "tapping therapies," that is not a criticism of the book.

With those couple of caveats I still recommend the book as a compendium of psychological approaches to managing anger. If anger is a problem for you or for those around you, this book is a good place to start.

12 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Finding the "Off" Switch, March 20, 2006

By 

Susan R. Meyer "Life Architect" (New York, New York) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: In Control: No More Snapping at Your Family, Sulking at Work, Steaming in the Grocery Line, Seething in Meetings, Stuffing your Frustration (Hardcover)

As someone who teaches and coaches around anger management issues, I was delighted to read the Williams' simple, straightforward plan for getting anger under control. Following a clear explanation of the factors that create people out of control, this book details a plan for regaining and maintaining emotional control. The plan is easy to follow. None of the steps are so threatening that they can't be attempted on your own.
It's not so hard helping people learn a STOP mechanism; it's harder to guide them through the steps that lead to and maintain balance and appropriate reactions. This book does just that and I plan to use it and recommend it often.

4.0 out of 5 stars Great book, August 29, 2010

By 

Vioro58 - See all my reviews

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This review is from: In Control: No More Snapping at Your Family, Sulking at Work, Steaming in the Grocery Line, Seething in Meetings, Stuffing Your Frustration (Paperback)

This book is a must for anyone who wants to become more intelligent emotionally.
I have enjoyed the exercises and the abilities that one can acquire.