Customer Reviews

In Control: No More Snapping at Your Family, Sulking at Work, Steaming in the Grocery Line, Seething in Meetings, Stuffing your Frustration

5 star:		(2)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

This book promises a lot: in effect that if you follow the clearly laid plans, self-control and serenity can be yours within eight weeks. The authors say that greater self-control will improve not just emotional but physical health. Dr Redford Williams was one of the people who first found an apparent link between Type A personality and the development of coronary artery disease, so it is not surprising that the authors focus on this link. More recent research has not been so clear that there is a connection between Type A personality and heart disease, and much interest has shifted toward the "Type D" personality, which refers to the tendency to experience negative emotions and to inhibit the expression of these negative emotions in social interactions. Stress and hostility do seem to be involved in the development of coronary artery disease, and perhaps also other heart and health problems, by lessening our normal heart rate variability.

Leaving aside those technical quibbles, I don't think anyone could deny that gaining greater control of our emotional life is a good thing. Drawing on the burgeoning science of positive psychology, the book begins with self-assessment quiz and ends with advice on increasing your level of optimism.

The main strategies that the authors recommend are certainly sound:
1. Recognize your emotions
2. Weigh the evidence of situations, so that you think before you act
3. Gaining control of your reactions
4. How to resolve problems and implement solutions
5. Assert yourself and learn to say no
6. Improve communication
7. Empathize with others
8. Learn to "look up, " i.e. how to be happy and optimistic

Each chapter is peppered with interesting and appropriate cases.

Most of the advice is intuitive. My only concern with the book, and why I'm giving four stars, is that there is almost too much information in it. I say that with the greatest sympathy: my agent and editor constantly makes the same charge against me! It seemed to me as if the book contained just about every piece of psychological advice that I've ever seen. Including a few techniques that have been shown not to work. The one that jumped out at me was the advice to snap a rubber band against the wrist. Something that was popular many years ago, before empirical research showed that such interruption strategies are not very effective. I have known a few people use the technique with such vigor that they've made their wrists black and blue!

There is nothing about any of the other techniques like thought field therapy that can often be helpful with emotional problems like anger, but since there is little published data on the "tapping therapies," that is not a criticism of the book.

With those couple of caveats I still recommend the book as a compendium of psychological approaches to managing anger. If anger is a problem for you or for those around you, this book is a good place to start.

As someone who teaches and coaches around anger management issues, I was delighted to read the Williams' simple, straightforward plan for getting anger under control. Following a clear explanation of the factors that create people out of control, this book details a plan for regaining and maintaining emotional control. The plan is easy to follow. None of the steps are so threatening that they can't be attempted on your own.
It's not so hard helping people learn a STOP mechanism; it's harder to guide them through the steps that lead to and maintain balance and appropriate reactions. This book does just that and I plan to use it and recommend it often.

This book is a must for anyone who wants to become more intelligent emotionally.
I have enjoyed the exercises and the abilities that one can acquire.

Are your negative emotions putting you at risk for serious health problems? Do you constantly feel angry, depressed or anxious? Redford and Virginia Williams have created an 8-week program to put you back on track so you can manage your emotions effectively.

The first step is to of course acknowledge your emotions. The program then takes this one step further by requiring you to analyze stressful situation in a journal. Once you become aware of how you are reacting it is then possible to respond to situations in a more positive way.

While the breathing exercises work to calm you down I find that trying to conjure up a feeling of love tends to eradicate most negative emotions fairly quickly. If you show anger instead of love it is interesting to note that your blood is more likely to clot.

The extensive case studies in this book bring a new understanding to this subject but can at times be a little overwhelming. I found myself skipping over some of the examples and going straight for the heart of the book.

It is easy to read this book in a matter of hours but you might want to stretch it out to maybe eight days of reading so you have time to put the principles into practice. I can't see why you would need eight weeks but perhaps that is preferable to some people. The ideas in this book are easy to implement and will produce the desired result.

Don't be surprised if your blood pressure goes down or that you start feeling less stressed and irritable. The authors recommend that you use a journal while reading this book - this will be useful if you intend to do some of the more detailed analysis the authors recommend.

~The Rebecca Review

I really found this book to be useful. I leave it at work for all who feel like they need to try something new to alleviate the anger that can sometimes feel overwhelming.