Customer Reviews

Control Trap, The

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4 star:		(1)
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1 star:		(2)

 

 

To say that I am not an avid reader would be an understatement. But when my husband flippantly tossed this book at me and dared me to read it, I grudgingly complied.

Through the words of the Barbara Sullivan, I saw very clearly something in myself that I had never seen before: I wanted to control circumstances and situations in my life that were really out of my control.

As I read, my heart started to soften and I realized that I had to let go. As I relinquished control in my marriage, my husband started seeing changes in me that he never thought possible. As I gave him the freedom to be himself and not the way I "wanted", we started growing closer. He then began to make changes in himself because now he didn't feel pressured.

The fact is, this book was largely responsible for saving our marriage. Read it with an open mind and an open heart.

God used this book to bring healing in my life. Most on point book about control. Love that she points the reader back to God and prayer, for He is the Ultimate Healer. This is spoken from one who has controlled every aspect of my life for as long as I can remember. I am walking in the freedom that comes from letting go and letting God.

I have found myself reading this book through various stages of my life --now 54 and re-reading it for the third time (each time using a different color to underline or highlight!). Control must be so embedded in me that it is my natural fall-back position when in fear, anger or shame modes. It has convicted me each time and gives me a deeper understanding each time and guides me to a SUPER-natural means of help. I have moved twice since I first read the book, and amongst great downsizing of books this one remains in my library. This time, in great marriage and step-mothering turmoil, I prayed what book to turn to. This was the one that was placed on my heart ... again. It is also helping me to see how others in my life use control when they are in the same modes, but their style is in-direct while mine is VERY direct. It helps me understand them better while knowing that I am certainly no better than they. Still in the midst of reading the book, I assume I will find that as I pull back from my direct control techniques, give way for God to work in our lives, the others I refer to will be able to back down on their feelings to need to control. They, afterall, will never likely read the book. I can and should no longer control them, but I can read the book, utilize what I learn, lean on God and let what happens be His best for us. So, help me God! Amen!

I read this book several years ago, and it changed my life. Laugh if you must, but as a teen and early adulthood, I truly felt that it was my God-given 'gift' to always take charge and always correct people when they were in the wrong (according to my standards). This book helped me not only to recognize my mistakes, but to see where I had gone wrong, the models I had followed in my life that were wrong, and how to let go of the need to 'Control' everything. There were so many 'aha' moments in this book, and I still have it and reference it, especially since I now have children of my own, and I find myself giving them 'the look'.

This book has so much truth in it! If you struggle with a parent, spouse, boss, or even friend that is controlling - this book will give you good insight. If You struggle with being controlling - this book will really deal with you and what you are really doing to yourself and others in the process. Great counseling tool.

Sometimes what is the most controversial in our minds, is the thing we need to deal with the most. Being in control means things get done, we're never let down, and life will run smoothly...or so we think. Taking control over the lives of others can cause deep stress, physical and mental problems, and division in the household and relationships. This book helps you understand why you do what you do, and allows you to make your own, informed decisions on how to break free from the "control trap."

This was the worst book that I have ever read. The book being very irrevlant to most women. I would liked to have known that it was written by a women who states statistics without facts to back it up. This book only proves that stereotyping women by gender, income or race is still acceptable.

I would have appreciated knowing that this book was centered around a focus on Christianity and "family values". I assumed this was a self-help book. The author is a pastor's wife in a Christian community that understands feminism as aggressive and castrating! The book is geared towards helping women be good wives and mothers, including weight loss. The implicit values make it a narrow resource for me. I found it to be very supportive of roles rather than people.
I had hoped to learn more about being driven or controlled by anxiety, etc. as I live with perrenial stressors, such as the murder of a grown daughter. This was not the book for me and I regret buying it.
Please let us know if a book is Christian focused or is written for members of a specific religous orientation!!