Customer Reviews

Convent [VHS]

5 star:		(11)
4 star:		(16)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(6)
1 star:		(11)

 

 

If you are looking for an intelligent,scary horror film...this is not it. But if you are looking for outrageous camera work, laugh out loud lines and undead nuns, guns, and gasoline...this is flawless. It really shows that the director, writer, and actors had a blast making this and play it totally for laughs. I was on the floor cracking up through most of it and can highly recommend it for those friday night parties when you're with all your friends, had a few drinks , and don't really want to use your brains...

Now you have to give this movie some credit. There's nothing that stands out in the acting. The characters are stereotypical and, if you ask me, redundant. What stood out to me was the effects. First of all, the fight scenes were rather entertaining. For all you knew, you were watching a John Woo shootout (okay, maybe not John Woo). I'm not one for comparing movies to see how they portray possessed people. But you really gotta give these guys props for their effects and portrayal. It wasn't the typical Linda Blair. It was more like a special effects upgrade to the usual demonic possession.
So if you watch movies just for effects, you'll probably get a kick out of this. The r-rating is for sexuality (no nudity), language and graphic violence. Don't take it seriously. Just enjoy it for what it offers.

Think Evil Dead II or Dead-Alive. You'll laugh, puke and scream all at the same time! Though I hear the Trimark DVD is cut by a few seconds (what a moronic waste of production time!) it's still worth picking up. I absolutley love this movie. It's destined to be a cult classic.

I was really excited about this movie and had heard about it for a long time, it just didn't have an American distributer. Well, I finally seen it and I must say I'm a little disappointed.
The concept of demon nuns and lots of gore sounds pretty cool. But why must all new horror movies have to be funny? Why must all new horror movies have to have "in-jokes"? Why must all new horror films have to look like Marilyn Manson videos?(You know, with the zombies/demons/ghosts doing that twitching thing)

As for the gore, why is it neon colors? And what's with all the black light stuff? While I must admit the wanna be goths in the movie are absolutely hysterical because it's so true, I wanna see a good gory, straight frightfest from an American film. It reminds me of Dead Hate the Living meets the remake of House on Haunted Hill(and that's not a good thing because both films did the Marilyn Manson video/in joke thing which is becoming tiring.

In short, yeah it has funny parts, yeah there's some gore(with neon blood), but if you wanna see some *** kicking gory zombie movies, America isn't making them. Not even the Italians are making them any more. Japan is doing the genre with some real awesome fresh movies in the likes of Junk, Wild Zero, and Versus. Look for them because other than Romero and the Evil Dead series, America is useless when it comes to zombies/demons and gore.

I wasn't sure what to expect with this one but the plot sounded interesting and anything with Adrienne Barbeau is worth the price of admission.
Some of the acting is rough and the plot is on the skimpy side but once you get into the movie, who cares! This was a hoot and a half. Interesting effects and characters and of course upon the first glimpse of Ms. Barbeau as Christine, you feel like you're seeing a familiar friend.
This is a fun romp that gives you a taste of horror, comedy, drama, and is good old fashion popcorn movie. I'd like to thank the writers, producers and actors for making a quiet evening at home much more interesting.
I recently met Ms. Barbeau before seeing this movie and when I mentioned it she told me I'd enjoy it and she was on target. (I also must mention that it was a dream come true to meet this acting Icon and she was an absolute delight!!!).
If you want a great movie with a dash of everything this is the one for you. And you had to see the ending coming a mile off!!! (Wink, wink, nudge)

I think The Convent is one of the freshest schlock horror/dark humor films to come along in a long time. The opening sequence is absolutely KILLER, and this will become a true cult classic. The action doesn't drop off, but becomes like an ascending acid trip with psychedelic craziness, good characters, and new monster effects with that wild jerky motion unique to this film. I had to see it twice to take it all in! Just don't show it to your grandparents.

Man, what a trip! Usually, if a movie tries really hard to be campy and funny, it fails miserably. This one hits it just right. Hilarious, fast-paced, great-looking, and creative. Love those flourescent nun zombies!

Ok, so this movie isnt scary at all, but it is absolutely hilarious, the perfect satirical B-horror movie. Pick it up if you enjoy a movie with an original touch and characters who are mockingly typical. If you are looking to pee yourself from fright, avoid this movie.

I'd give it 3 stars.
I was looking for a decent 'bunch of sexy young people head off to a secluded place and get slaughtered' flic last night and thought i'd try this one.
I loved Adrienne Barbeau since Swamp Thing so when i saw her name on the box it was decided.
The opening was good as others have said but i was kind of disappointed that they dumped the horror potential of the dead nuns and went straight to the schlocky demons so soon.
Anyways the cast was fresh and worked together well which is half the battle in these movies.
Some things made me laugh out loud like the flashback to her days in the convent 40 yrs ago when the nuns became demons and punished the students with paddles.
There were other little moments of great dialogue in the movie like the scene between the 2 virgins that are tied up together at the end.
Adrienne was ok but could've been a little more over the top .
Convent shouldn't be decribed as being in the same league as my sacred Evil Dead 2 but it's not bad at all.

You know, it was really hard for me to dislike this movie, because I really wanted to like it. I first heard of it having trouble finding a distributor a few years ago, and heard it was outrageous, wild, gory, stylish - and so much more. I thought I was in for something new, but after a rousing start (nice, nice), the film becomes stunningly mediocre. Cardboard characters that have been in every teen fright flick since the late 70's populate the picture, and even the one character who should be original - the goth girl (who is absolutely beautiful) - is basically Angela from the Night of the Demons series. In fact, the echoes of NOTDs are everywhere from the makeup to the gore (yes, NOTDs 2 even had decapitated nuns).

At a trim 81 minutes, you'd expect the sensational subject matter to pack a wallop, but outside of the opening and a neat flashback sequence, its all really rather contrived. At times, it seems the filmmakers were trying overly hard to be un-pc, and it does feel a bit juvenile. With such a short running time, there should be no pointless scenes, but instead of wall to wall carnage, we get a couple of scenes in a diner, some inane chatter amongst the teens to establish 'character', and a really cheesy ending.

It does have its moments, some good gore, a bit of stylish photography. Pitty more wasn't done with the effort.