Customer Reviews

The Conversation: How Black Men and Women Can Build Loving, Trusting Relationships

5 star:		(83)
4 star:		(26)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

THE CONVERSATION by Hill Harper is deeply reflective and honest. The author's ability to discuss his own faults regarding relationships with raw and unflinching candor is impressive. His sincerity should move readers to hold up the mirror, evaluate the health of their own relationships, or assess why they may be unsuccessful in establishing new relationships. Readers seeking inspiration might also enjoy the quotes from other notable celebrities at the beginning of each chapter in this book.

Since the author is unmarried and admits that he has failed in his attempts to commit, many may question his level of expertise on the subject of building loving and trusting Black relationships. To allay these concerns, the author relies on the experiences and opinions of others who enjoy healthy relationships and marriages. He also includes in his writing statistical findings and research from a few reputable sources to support his hypotheses on the state of Black male and female relationships. Readers should however, bear in mind that while the writing is eloquent and captivating, the author is not a professional counselor and THE CONVERSATION does not present scientific strategies for managing Black male/female relationships. Readers seeking more impactful solutions for repairing strained relationships should seek advice from professional counselors.

The material in this book may be more appealing to young newlyweds or unmarried people below ages 30 and below, however. The book gives a number of scenarios (real and fictitious) in nightlife, party, bar, and restaurant settings where younger people are more likely frequent. More mature audiences interested in repairing broken relationships, breathing new life into existing ones, or building new relationships may not find the settings in THE CONVERSATION relevant to them.

The author's ambitious attempt to reflect the experiences of the entire African American race with regard to Black male and female relationships is commendable. He has enlisted the opinions of people from a variety of socioeconomic backgrounds who adopt different value systems. His friends and people in attendance at various soirees are invited to weigh in on the demise of Black relationships. He also invites people from his university, barbershop, job, and church to share their opinions and life experiences. However, since many of these respondents were seemingly acquainted with the author prior to the book's publishing, it is difficult to ascertain whether their opinions are truly objective. In addition, while most of these respondents were not celebrities, quite a few seem to be indirectly aligned with the author's affluent social circles. Therefore, it is difficult to determine whether their experiences accurately reflect those of average African Americans.

Nonetheless, in today's literary market where books written by celebrity authors are often considered vain and shallow, THE CONVERSATION is refreshingly thoughtful and intelligent.

Carla Newsome McManus
Sisters and Brothers of Hotlanta Book Club

I honestly can't think of any complaints about this book. It's written on a very personal level where he speaks about then-current events and people and he includes his self and his actions when talking about problems and making corrections. This book issues a challenge to its readers that I've personally taken on and I encourage everyone else to do the same. It was nonetheless an eye-opener in many ways. At other times, it hammered home points I've tried to make in personal life. I've read the book and have since passed it to my wife to read with the hopes of discussing it together. There is something to be taken from this book regardless of being male or female. I would like to list several of my favorite chapters but in looking back through the ToC, I can't because I took something from every chapter. And that, to me, determines how successful a book is in reaching me. It's must read in my opinion. Again, I encourage any and every one to not only read it, but look yourself in the mirror and answer the challenge.

I enjoyed this book, because it help me to better understand what goes on in a man's mind. Sometimes we get so caught up in ourselves, we forget that a man is also a person with feelings, and they deserve to be treated with affection as well. I thought I was such a reasonable person when it came to relationship, but I now realize that I was selfish in more ways than I thought. I really thought this book was put together well and I have recommended it to several friends. Well done Hill.

"The Conversation..." by Hill Harper was an inside look into how African-American males and females communicate or lack thereof with each other. The book allows the readers to get into the minds of how men and women think and act and re-act to how we're treated in relationships. It also opens the door on how to love. I definitely would recommend this book to both single and married to get an idea of how to be honest with your mate and always communicate with them; it also helps to be friends first. When I ordered this book, it was in good condition; I was very pleased and will continue to order through Amazon.com.

It's hard to find a good relationship book with good sound advice. But I really enjoyed this book and I learned a few things. But I have to be honest......When I was half-way through the book, my opinion was completely different than what it is now. I was starting to think this was just another Black relationship book telling Black women how horrible they were at relationships. A lot of these Black relationship books like to tell us how we're boring, mean or have attitudes. And I was starting to feel like this book was heading in that direction. Because honestly I felt like most of the chapters were written for women. There was maybe one sentence or one paragraph written for men in each chapter. But something told me to keep reading and stick it out. So I did. And Hill totally changed my opinion of the book with his chapter titled, "Man Up." Finally, a chapter that addressed the real issues in the Black community. The Black men.
*NEWSFLASH LADIES* It's not us. To all the Black women reading this review, do not let society make you feel incopentent or lost. I know plenty of mean, boring, crazy white women that have husbands. Don't let these books (Not talking about "The Conversation" book) tell you that something is wrong with YOU. It's not YOU. The real issue is the lack of Black men and the destruction of the Black female/male relationship.

Hill Harper's book is a wonderful read. I enjoyed his writing style and was inspired by the content. I loved that he included his own trials with relationships in the backdrop of the book. I also like that he offered questions for the reader to continue the conversation and begin her own conversation with friends/peers. I have recommended the book to all of my friends and continue to speak its praises to others I come in contact with. Hill keep on doing what you do and encouraging conversation as it is necessary in the midst of this technological takeover. tweet that!

I just finished reading the book and I will say that I'm not 100% happy with it. It was very easy to understand and I liked how it geared toward sinlge adults, but I don't think it should have had the subtitle that it did. It starts with "HOW Black men and women..." when there aren't any real explanations on "how" to solve the problems that were discussed. Hill just put them out there (as if we didn't already know what they were). I enjoyed Chapter 19 "Man Up!" becuase I know that one of the hardest things to do is admit something that that makes you look bad, for example when you know your boy is cheating and not saying anything to correct him (I'm in the military, and get the pleasure of seeing men do this first hand- covering for each other and 'claiming' to be that girls friend) Its pretty sad. I would have liked to see more coversation from the women's point a few and also a chapter for women that was similar to "Man Up!" because I'm sorry, but there are lots of women out there who need to get their acts together that make it harder for those of us that have it together. Men treat women badly becuase we allow them to-plain and simple.

But now Hill Harper is on my radar and I'll be looking for upcoming works.

This book did not make any sense to me. How is he trying give advice on finding the right met if he is not in a relationship and too scared to commit. I was not feeling this book at all. Couldn't get through the entire book. I gave it away.

This book is great. It was a real page turner!!! I am a hispanic female and this book is information for all cultures!!!

Harper should have named this book "The Answer: How Men and Women Can Build Loving, Trusting Relationships". Harper offers his unbiased opinions, experiences and the experiences of his close friends and his grandparents to explore the complexities in Black relationships. To my surprise Harper digs deep often making me write a side note, hitting Google, and exploring my own experiences and attitudes toward relationships. A say its a must read especially for the younger generation.