Conversationally Speaking : Tested New Ways to Increase Your Personal and Social Effectiveness [Paperback]

Alan Garner (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 1, 1997

More than a million people have learned the secrets of effective conversation using Conversationally Speaking. This revised edition provides more ways to improve conversational skills by asking questions that promote conversation, learning how to listen so that others will be encouraged to talk, reducing anxiety in social situations and more.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Alan Garner has taught hundreds of Conversationally Speaking workshops. He is the coauthor of Lifeskills for Adult Children.

Product Details

• Paperback: 216 pages
• Publisher: McGraw-Hill; 3rd edition (April 1, 1997)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1565656296
• ISBN-13: 978-1565656291
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.4 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (45 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #6,467 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #5 in Books > Education & Reference > Etiquette > Conversation
  • #52 in Books > Self-Help > Self-Esteem
  • #53 in Books > Business & Investing > Skills > Communications

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

188 of 193 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Must-Have Book for Making New Friends!!!, July 2, 2001

By A Customer

This review is from: Conversationally Speaking : Tested New Ways to Increase Your Personal and Social Effectiveness (Paperback)

A had read three books on making conversation (How To Work A Room, What Do I Say Next?, and How to Start A Conversation and Make Friends). I really tried to do what they said, but for several years now, I have just fallen flat and have not been able to "connect" with others. After reading Mr. Garner's book just last week, I have really been connecting with many people. For the first time, I have been given information that actually works because it is suited to what makes people "tick". Whereas the aforementioned books basically tell you to act nice, listen, and have interesting information to talk about, Mr. Garner's information gives you tools to have people actually want to continue talking with you. I felt that the other books made you still be somewhat "boring" to other people because most people want you to relate to them, rather than them having to find your topics interesting. This book has really changed my life and I am really grateful! Other good picks are (audiotapes) The Fine Art of Small Talk by Deborah Fine and The Pocket Guide to Making Successful Small Talk: How to Talk to Anyone Anytime Anywhere About Anything by Bernardo J. Carducci, Ph D.

67 of 67 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Very Good Basic Info, March 2, 2006

By 

Jude Steiner-Hall (Berkeley CA) - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Conversationally Speaking : Tested New Ways to Increase Your Personal and Social Effectiveness (Paperback)

I ordered this book about 3 months ago and, as recommended in chapter one, I've been reading a chapter at a time, then trying out the suggestions. So far, with very minor changes in my behavior, I've seen very positive results.

I think that to say this book is for wallflowers only is superior and misleading. (I don't know anyone who couldn't polish up their social act a bit.)

Inwardly I have anxiety relating to people, sometimes mild or moderate, sometimes severe, but outwardly people tell me I seem extremely friendly and at ease. I'm not a mute or stammering wallflower. And I'm finding the suggestions in this book useful and interesting.

I noticed that I was tending to monopolize conversations, partially I think as a nervous habit. I wanted to be a better listener. This book shows you how to ask the kind of questions that put people at ease and help them open up and share their most interesting stories. Also tips on body language, how to give compliments without triggering knee-jerk modest responses, and how the talk yourself through moments of self-doubt. All good, basic strategies. I feel secure knowing these techniques are based on statistical evidence and clinical study of how people react and behave.

Sometimes the sample dialogue is hockey; you have to dismiss the seemingly 50's style lingo and focus on the technique being illustrated (e.g. follow up a compliment with a related open-ended question). I think this book will help people who want to cultivate warm, comfortable relationships and feel more socially at ease and effective.

93 of 96 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Very Helpful Book, April 8, 2001

By 

James Nuccini (East Haven, CT USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Conversationally Speaking : Tested New Ways to Increase Your Personal and Social Effectiveness (Paperback)

I had considered myself a very shy person, never knowing what to say to new people, so I decided to read this book. This book is a very helpful book. The author, Alan Garner, takes you through his step by step Conversationally Speaking course, which will help anyone who has any problems striking conversation.

Garner gives advice on how to make people want to talk to you, everything from how to give off a positive body language and seem to others to be open and willing to socialize, to how you can make people interested in what you talk about, just by talking about things that interest them? Now you may ask, how do you know what interests someone, or how do I talk in a way that will make me seem more intriguing to a person, if I dont know them or what they want, let alone what they think??? Your answer..... Read this book!!!!! It tells you all of that and more, and all of Garner's techniques are supported by real life situations, and in many cases, real life dialogue that Garner has either been a part of himself, been there to see it, or heard from a friend. Just reading these alone can show you how to be more sociable and build self confidence. In short, if you want to be a better people person, then READ THIS BOOK!!!!!!!!