Conversations With a Pedophile: In the Interest of our Children [Hardcover]

Amy Hammel-Zabin (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 9, 2003

In an effort to show parents how to protect their children from sexual predators Conversations with a Pedophile, through direct correspondence with a convicted pedophile, describes how victims are selected and preyed upon. Dr. Hammel-Zabin details ways to spot early warning signs of abuse and proves that the danger of pedophilia does not come from the stranger in the street offering gifts of candy. It's the nice boy next door, the distant relative, the sweet baby-sitter. It is also shown that our churches aren't safe havens. Nor are our schools or our Scout troops.

Editorial Reviews

Review

...only by understanding pedophilia can we protect children. The veracity of these revelations have the ring of truth. -- Kirkus Reviews: March 15, 2003

About the Author

Amy Hammel-Zabin is currently a practicing music therapist and a graduate advisor for music therapy students at New York University. Her flute playing is featured on a CD that is currently ranked #5 in Europe. She lives in Greenwich, CT with her husband and two young children.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 237 pages
• Publisher: Barricade Books; Twenty-Eighth edition (April 9, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1569802475
• ISBN-13: 978-1569802472
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.8 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,107,491 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

20 of 23 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Got kids? Read this book!, September 15, 2005

By 

A. Student (Marietta) - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Conversations With a Pedophile: In the Interest of our Children (Hardcover)

Be warned! This book is as profoundly disturbing as its subject! That being said, it provides critical information that parents and caregivers need to know to keep their children and charges from becoming another statistic. The pederast who provides the "real life" information for this book was able to rape (repeatedly) over 1,000 prepubescent boys and was only discovered because a mother found a picture of her son in a sexually explicit pose -- none of the victims ever reported their rape. Dr. Hammel-Zabin does a great service in discovering and describing, using the pederast's own words, how this could have happened, the tactics used to control the victims, and, most importantly, what needs to be done IN THE HOME and community to counter these tactics. Reading this book will disgust you and likely cost you some sleep but you will gain a deep insight into how such things happen and, more importantly, be prepared to help keep it from happening again.

23 of 27 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A powerful book, offers insight that can save lives, June 4, 2004

By 

Annie M. "Accerdited book worm" (USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Conversations With a Pedophile: In the Interest of our Children (Hardcover)

This is a powerful and important book, even if disturbing at times. It tells the story of one Pedophine, and a contrite one at that, yet still offers some insight into the workings of the minds of at least some people who are considered the lowest of the low even among the incarcerated. It was interesting to read Alan's (the pedophile whose long-term correspondance with Dr. Zabin is at the foundation of this book) explanation of his evolving perversion. At times his rationalizations seem almost a little too clear, as if he'd spent time filling in the gaps to make the process meaningful. Even to casting blame on others for not giving him what he needed and "driving him" to seek control elsewhere. However, I think that Alan's story and his escalating tactics of grooming and ensnaring victims does glimpse into a process many of us would rather not have to look at: pedophiles don't drop out of the sky as dirty old men...pedophilia evolves...pedophiles hurt many children before they are caught.

While to some degree this makes it all the more scary, it can hopefully in the future allow society places of awareness and intervention that might stop a tendency, confusion, or re-enactment before it becomes a full blown addiction to power that feeds on vunlerability and submission.

The title of the book, "Conversations with A pedophile", is well thought--Alan's story, a pedophile who accepts his responsibility (at least at part) and expresses some rue for his violations can't be easily generalized. We are yet to learn more about the workings of the minds of violent offenders; those who do not take the time to "groom" their victims and their families; those who establish their dominance on their own young who already have no way other than to submit. And still, for an area with such paucity of public information, there is much that can be taken of this book is helpful, can maybe even save lives.

Maybe the most helpful information is in the detailed explanations of secrecy, control, escallation, and the use of the victim's own shame as an effective tool of control. These are essential insights to anyone who wants to understand child abuse in all it's forms.

Hurray to Amy, author and therapist, for the courage to share and weave her own story into the pages. Even with all the strides made in the area of awareness and understanding of child abuse, when it comes to professionals, there is still a stigma attached, and it is time it lost it's wear.
Secrecy is only as powerful as we allow it to be, as individuals as well as a society.

I recommend this book to anyone who works with children. And especially to those who still like to claim that child abuse is rare, that "good citizens" don't do such things, that the effects of abuse has to be obvious and immediate, and that children do not keep secrets, do not repress, do not forget, or really have a choice. (...)

14 of 18 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Horrifyingly Enlightening, May 6, 2003

By 

yikes54 (White Plains, NY USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Conversations With a Pedophile: In the Interest of our Children (Hardcover)

Engrossing from the first to the last page. Hammel-Zabin opens her darkest secrets to the reader and through a most amazing relationship she forged with a "brilliant" pedophile we are horrified, amazed, awakened and enlightened at the same time!! Anyone who has ANYTHING to do with children should read this book!