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Cool, Calm & Contentious [Hardcover]

Merrill Markoe (Author)
3.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (22 customer reviews)

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Book Description

November 1, 2011
In this hilarious collection of personal essays, New York Times bestselling author Merrill Markoe reveals, among other things, the secret formula for comedy: Start out with a difficult mother, develop some classic teenage insecurities, add a few relationships with narcissistic men, toss in an unruly pack of selfish dogs, finish it off with the kind of crystalline perspective that only comes from years of navigating a roiling sea of unpleasant and unappeasable people, and—voilà!—you’re funny!

But in Cool, Calm & Contentious, Markoe also reveals something more: herself. This is by far her most personal, affecting collection yet—honest, unapologetic, often painful, but always shot through with the bracing, wicked sense of humor that has made her such a beloved and incisive observer of life, both human and canine. In Cool, Calm & Contentious, she goes there: from the anal-retentive father who once spent ten minutes lecturing Markoe’s forty-year-old, Ph.D.-wielding brother on how to fold a napkin, to the eternally aggrieved mother who took pleasure in being unpleasant to waiters and spent most of her life, Markoe says, in “varying degrees of pissed off”; from the way she surrendered her virginity as a freshman in college (to her, it was “something to be gotten rid of quickly, then never discussed again, like body odor”), to why, later in life, she ultimately came to find dogs so much more appealing than humans, Markoe holds nothing back. It’s all here, in all its messy, poignant glory, and told the way only Merril Markoe knows how—with honesty, wit, and bite.

Cool, Calm & Contentious
offers something for everyone—fans of humorous essays, fans of memoir, fans of great writing and finely drawn characters, fans of dogs, fans of talking dogs, and fans of reading about mothers who are so difficult and demanding they actually make you feel good about your own life. But most of all, this book is for the many fans of Merrill Markoe, who will finally get a chance to learn what makes her tick—and what makes her so funny and wise.

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Editorial Reviews

Review

Advance praise for Cool, Calm & Contentious
 
“Now that I’ve read Merrill Markoe’s latest book, I’ve learned a lot—about virginity, fetishism, sociopaths and narcissists, and how she explained the BP oil spill to her dogs. Also that Merrill is funnier, smarter, and more honest than anyone any of us knows. Just accept it—I have.”—Winnie Holzman, creator of My So-called Life, co-author of Wicked

“Alarming and reassuring . . . Wait, that’s impossible.”—George Meyer, writer, The Simpsons

PRAISE FOR MERRILL MARKOE
 
Nose Down, Eyes Up
 
“Read this novel for its nose-to-the-ground wisdom, for its unsentimental take on family, and for the funniest, furriest pack of jokesters this side of the Marx Brothers.”—O: The Oprah Magazine
 
“Whimsical . . . an ideal place to bury your nose.”—Los Angeles Times
 
“Hilarious.”—Publishers Weekly
 
Walking in Circles Before Lying Down
 
“Bound to make you laugh out loud.”—People (four stars)
 
“Fun and charming . . . So spin around three or four times, curl up with your four-legged friend and enjoy.”—Fort Worth Star-Telegram
 
“A delight.”—Boston Sunday Globe

About the Author

Emmy Award–winning writer Merrill Markoe lives in Los Angeles, California, the garden spot of America, with four dogs and a man. She has authored three books of humorous essays and the novels Nose Down, Eyes Up; Walking in Circles Before Lying Down; and It’s My F---ing Birthday and co-authored (with Andy Prieboy) the novel The Psycho Ex Game. A lot of additional information about her—including a long bio, goofy videos, etc.—can be found at merrillmarkoe.com. After great amounts of hesitation, she is also on Facebook. But since she thinks about pulling the page down on a daily basis, check fast.

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Villard (November 1, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0345518918
  • ISBN-13: 978-0345518910
  • Product Dimensions: 5.8 x 0.9 x 8.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (22 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #34,853 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Merrill Markoe graduated from UC Berkeley with a masters degree in art, then went on to use her degree in the most pragmatic way possible by becoming a writer of comedy for assorted venues, including television, movies and magazines,(when there still were magazines.) Along the way she won five Emmys for Late Night with David Letterman and a Writer's Guild Award for HBO's Not Necessarily the News.These days she is STILL writing books and making short films. To learn more than you probably need to know about her, visit Merrillmarkoe.com. And when I say "her", I mean "me." As far as I can tell, I'm the only one writing this.

 

Customer Reviews

22 Reviews
5 star:
 (10)
4 star:
 (3)
3 star:    (0)
2 star:
 (4)
1 star:
 (5)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
3.4 out of 5 stars (22 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

76 of 76 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Love this book, November 21, 2011
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Cool, Calm & Contentious (Hardcover)
This book was worth the wait. The writing is so good. It's more of a conversation than a book.

The approach Merrill takes to difficult subjects is extremely clever. Whether she is talking about her mom or her adventures in relationships, she handles it with wit and grace.

When I was done reading the book, I wanted to be able to give her a big hug of thanks. But since I couldn't do that, I wrote this instead.

This is a must buy.
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54 of 54 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Classic Markoe PLUS, November 15, 2011
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This review is from: Cool, Calm & Contentious (Hardcover)
I've always been a huge fan of Merrill Markoe's novels. I bought this book of essays as soon as it came out. Not only is it hilarious (trying to model herself on Jack Kerouac as a desperate-to-be-liked teenager is full of laughs) but incredibly brave and revealing. Markoe writes with honesty, wit and wisdom on a wide range of topics: her impossible-to-please mother, a perfect explanation of the narcissistic personality, or a river rafting trip for women to bond over. Oh, and dogs! Lots and lots of dogs. This book is a treasure.
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Her mom was a Claude Rains character, December 6, 2011
By 
VD (vdbooks) "VD" (Somewhere in New England) - See all my reviews
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This was a fun read, especially the parts about Merrill's peculiar yet fascinating mother. She came across as a character we've seen Claude Rains play (and that's why we love Claude Rains). Her 'first time', arty teen, rafting, and 'how to spot an a-word' essays were also fun. I got bogged down with all the dog stuff, but a dog owner may slurp that stuff up like spilled gravy.
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