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Cool, Calm & Contentious: Essays [Hardcover]

Merrill Markoe
3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (46 customer reviews)


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Hardcover, November 1, 2011 --  
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Book Description

November 1, 2011
In this hilarious collection of personal essays, New York Times bestselling author Merrill Markoe reveals, among other things, the secret formula for comedy: Start out with a difficult mother, develop some classic teenage insecurities, add a few relationships with narcissistic men, toss in an unruly pack of selfish dogs, finish it off with the kind of crystalline perspective that only comes from years of navigating a roiling sea of unpleasant and unappeasable people, and—voilà!—you’re funny!

But in Cool, Calm & Contentious, Markoe also reveals something more: herself. This is by far her most personal, affecting collection yet—honest, unapologetic, often painful, but always shot through with the bracing, wicked sense of humor that has made her such a beloved and incisive observer of life, both human and canine. In Cool, Calm & Contentious, she goes there: from the anal-retentive father who once spent ten minutes lecturing Markoe’s forty-year-old, Ph.D.-wielding brother on how to fold a napkin, to the eternally aggrieved mother who took pleasure in being unpleasant to waiters and spent most of her life, Markoe says, in “varying degrees of pissed off”; from the way she surrendered her virginity as a freshman in college (to her, it was “something to be gotten rid of quickly, then never discussed again, like body odor”), to why, later in life, she ultimately came to find dogs so much more appealing than humans, Markoe holds nothing back. It’s all here, in all its messy, poignant glory, and told the way only Merril Markoe knows how—with honesty, wit, and bite.

Cool, Calm & Contentious
offers something for everyone—fans of humorous essays, fans of memoir, fans of great writing and finely drawn characters, fans of dogs, fans of talking dogs, and fans of reading about mothers who are so difficult and demanding they actually make you feel good about your own life. But most of all, this book is for the many fans of Merrill Markoe, who will finally get a chance to learn what makes her tick—and what makes her so funny and wise.


Editorial Reviews

Review

Advance praise for Cool, Calm & Contentious
 
“Now that I’ve read Merrill Markoe’s latest book, I’ve learned a lot—about virginity, fetishism, sociopaths and narcissists, and how she explained the BP oil spill to her dogs. Also that Merrill is funnier, smarter, and more honest than anyone any of us knows. Just accept it—I have.”—Winnie Holzman, creator of My So-called Life, co-author of Wicked

“Alarming and reassuring . . . Wait, that’s impossible.”—George Meyer, writer, The Simpsons

PRAISE FOR MERRILL MARKOE
 
Nose Down, Eyes Up
 
“Read this novel for its nose-to-the-ground wisdom, for its unsentimental take on family, and for the funniest, furriest pack of jokesters this side of the Marx Brothers.”—O: The Oprah Magazine
 
“Whimsical . . . an ideal place to bury your nose.”—Los Angeles Times
 
“Hilarious.”—Publishers Weekly
 
Walking in Circles Before Lying Down
 
“Bound to make you laugh out loud.”—People (four stars)
 
“Fun and charming . . . So spin around three or four times, curl up with your four-legged friend and enjoy.”—Fort Worth Star-Telegram
 
“A delight.”—Boston Sunday Globe

About the Author

Emmy Award–winning writer Merrill Markoe lives in Los Angeles, California, the garden spot of America, with four dogs and a man. She has authored three books of humorous essays and the novels Nose Down, Eyes Up; Walking in Circles Before Lying Down; and It’s My F---ing Birthday and co-authored (with Andy Prieboy) the novel The Psycho Ex Game. A lot of additional information about her—including a long bio, goofy videos, etc.—can be found at merrillmarkoe.com. After great amounts of hesitation, she is also on Facebook. But since she thinks about pulling the page down on a daily basis, check fast.

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Villard (November 1, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0345518918
  • ISBN-13: 978-0345518910
  • Product Dimensions: 5.8 x 0.9 x 8.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (46 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #317,055 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Merrill Markoe graduated from UC Berkeley with a masters degree in art, then went on to use her degree in the most pragmatic way possible by becoming a writer of comedy for assorted venues, including television, movies and magazines,(when there still were magazines.) Along the way she won five Emmys for Late Night with David Letterman and a Writer's Guild Award for HBO's Not Necessarily the News.These days she is STILL writing books and making short films. To learn more than you probably need to know about her, visit Merrillmarkoe.com. And when I say "her", I mean "me." As far as I can tell, I'm the only one writing this.

Customer Reviews

Markoe offers an excellent and often hilarious book of essays. Panchoskie  |  7 reviewers made a similar statement
I've always been a huge fan of Merrill Markoe's novels. Gentle Reader  |  3 reviewers made a similar statement
Try to find positive and if you can't find it make positive happen. Linda  |  3 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
82 of 82 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Love this book November 21, 2011
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
This book was worth the wait. The writing is so good. It's more of a conversation than a book.

The approach Merrill takes to difficult subjects is extremely clever. Whether she is talking about her mom or her adventures in relationships, she handles it with wit and grace.

When I was done reading the book, I wanted to be able to give her a big hug of thanks. But since I couldn't do that, I wrote this instead.

This is a must buy.
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57 of 57 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Classic Markoe PLUS November 15, 2011
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
I've always been a huge fan of Merrill Markoe's novels. I bought this book of essays as soon as it came out. Not only is it hilarious (trying to model herself on Jack Kerouac as a desperate-to-be-liked teenager is full of laughs) but incredibly brave and revealing. Markoe writes with honesty, wit and wisdom on a wide range of topics: her impossible-to-please mother, a perfect explanation of the narcissistic personality, or a river rafting trip for women to bond over. Oh, and dogs! Lots and lots of dogs. This book is a treasure.
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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Her mom was a Claude Rains character December 6, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
This was a fun read, especially the parts about Merrill's peculiar yet fascinating mother. She came across as a character we've seen Claude Rains play (and that's why we love Claude Rains). Her 'first time', arty teen, rafting, and 'how to spot an a-word' essays were also fun. I got bogged down with all the dog stuff, but a dog owner may slurp that stuff up like spilled gravy.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
3.0 out of 5 stars Not bad, not great
Very "David Sedaris-like" in her writing style but just couldn't keep up with the humor as consistently as him. It left me wanting more, but not in a good way.
Published 24 days ago by mike oster
5.0 out of 5 stars Fun, Sad, and a Great Read!
I flagged this book for a potential read after seeing the author on a late night comedy show and then I forgot about it until now and decided to buy the Kindle version. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Green Rose
2.0 out of 5 stars Not exactly uplifting
The author is a decent writer, but this is a tale of self-pity and woe. Being too young to know who she actually was, naturally I googled her to figure out who her mystery famous... Read more
Published 2 months ago by Amanda Kimble
5.0 out of 5 stars Love these stories!
Ms. Markoe is a terrifically funny writer! The way she sees the world is entertaining and touching. I love the way she writes. Get this book, then get her others. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Linnymsw
4.0 out of 5 stars Speed and accuracy
The book is not as bitingly funny as I thought it would be. After seeing numerous interviews with the author I thought it would be a bit more colorful of a read, but it gave me a... Read more
Published 5 months ago by Amanda L Murphy
5.0 out of 5 stars cool
awesome
wow a book with words, it is readable, wow, this has pages, and everything, can you believe it a book with pages, simply amazing!
Published 7 months ago by onececcn
1.0 out of 5 stars Painfully boring!
Both my wife and I tried to read this book and both ended up not being able to finish it. My wife stopped at a 1/3 of the way and I tried my hardest to get to the 1/2 way point... Read more
Published 8 months ago by Vasu S. Kengeri
4.0 out of 5 stars Maximum Markoe
Markoe offers an excellent and often hilarious book of essays. If you're a fan of the form and enjoy writers like David Sedaris, you'll love this little gem. Read more
Published 8 months ago by Panchoskie
5.0 out of 5 stars Loved this memoir
I have been a fan of Merrill Markoe since high school, over 15 years ago. I love this book. It ties with What the Dogs Have Taught Me as my favorite. Read more
Published 8 months ago by longtimefan
4.0 out of 5 stars Humorous And Interesting
This is the first book that I've read by Merrill Markoe, and I'm looking forward to checking out her other works. Read more
Published 10 months ago by BookBuff
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