Customer Reviews

Coping with Infuriating, Mean, Critical People: The Destructive Narcissistic Pattern

5 star:		(2)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

Although I gave this book a "five" I do find that the book is lacking (in fact I probably should give it a four.) Yes, I know one is usually supposed to list the positives before talking about negatives, but this book could have been a definitive book if the author had stayed more in line with her title.

Here's the only beef I had with the book: She does an excellent job helping the layperson to understand narcissism more fully--which *is* a necessary part of the coping/healing process when dealing with narcissists. But, seriously, there are a fair number of books on the market which tell of the traits, tendencies and charactaristics of the narcissistically challenged. Too few of them deal with how to cope with narcissists with the depth the author does--but still he doesn't go far enough.

The author is at her best and, to me at least, was most helpful when addressing the issue of how **we** add to the misery in dealing with narcissists by the poor way we react to them--and why we do so. I'm convinced that if the author had fleshed-out this part of his book more fully it could save a number of people from heading to counselors for help and could have been a very helpful resource for those of us who are in counseling because of narcissistic abuse. For example, the author touches on how our own less intense form of narcissism reacts with more toxic narcissism. Narcissists not only screw with you in the *real world* they screw with your head (which often is longer lasting and more devastating.)

The author, yes, should have either 1) included all the helpful understanding of narcissism which she has in her book **along with** a more exhaustive-and helpful-writing on how to deal with the "mind-game" part of narcissistic abuse or 2) cut back on the former and keep the latter. It's plain to me that the author knows what she is talking about: just help more with the "mind-game" part of coping with narcissism, please.

Still, this is a good effort and, sometimes, authors and books need to be given a little grace just for attempting to address such a worthwhile subject--thus the "five."

I'd just like to see her...oh, you know what I'd like to see the author do if she ever decides to rewrite the book.

Narcissistic behaviors displayed by those in power, friends and lovers affect everyone and are prevalent throughout society, which is why Coping with Infuriating, Mean, Critical People is so important and explains a destructive mental pattern which takes hold and affects many. Methods to help victims of this behavior are provided and come from a scholar/professor in Educational Leadership and Counseling, covering everything from indifference to others and emotional intimacy challenges to projection, protection and conquering loneliness. An outstanding guide surveys both victims and survivors as well as the narcissistic personality, this book is a pick for not only college-level holdings strong in psychology and sociology, but for general-interest library collections.