Customer Reviews

The Corpse Grinders

5 star:		(3)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(6)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

"The Corpse Grinders" tells the tale of a near bankrupt cat food company that decides to cut costs by utilizing human corpses for their "premium blend" of kitty chow. Amazingly, this chow becomes a best seller, the only drawback being that once the felines have tasted human flesh they revert to a very primal state of maneateing. A doctor and his wife stumble across this plot and decide to investigate, which leads to various "horrific" conclusions. "The Corpse Grinders" can best be described as a ultra-low budget student film even though it is directed by the relatively prolific Ted V. Mikels. The acting, sets, sound and special effects are all very amatuerish. This does not detract from the film however as, if one takes it on this level, it is very fun and "campy". I truly enjoyed this film. The DVD presentation from Image is probably the best available. The source print has some damage and color saturation issues but for a low-budget film as this it seems unlikely that a better source material is available. The extras include director commentary which, unfortunately, I have yet to peruse, a very interesting still gallery that includes some shots from altered nude scenes and the theatrical trailer. The film is presented in a slight widescreen format 1.78:1. I would think that anyone who is a fan of "Blood Feast", "The Undertaker and His Pals" and "They Saved Hitler's Brain" will find themselves enjoying this film. Like the box says, I did not watch this with my cat!

Wow. That's all I can say after watching this, one of the silliest (and conceptually grossest) of all of Mikels' films. I am a true fan of bad movies, but I have mixed feelings on this one. On the one hand the director's commentary is very interesting, even though it's disturbing what he finds funny (no surprise there, I suppose...), and it is a fun movie to mock in a kind of 'Plan 9' way (The 'sets' of the hospital are amazingly realistic! Not!), certainly the plot is silly and fun to riff on. In essence we have a corrupt, near-bankrupt cat food magnate running the Lotus Cat Food Company who decides to cut costs by grinding up corpses, cadavers, and later his own victims. (That's a plus: it certainly beats 'downsizing'; laying off all your employees in the States and exporting their jobs overseas, as is all the managerial rage today.) The only problem is that once the cats taste human flesh, they return to their wild roots and attack their owners, killing them in the most hilarious 'attack' sequences you have ever seen. It is wonderful watching the people holding onto the killer cats for dear life, trying to keep them from running away while making it look like a life or death struggle. Eventually a doctor and nurse couple finds out what's going on and confronts the evil cat food magnate in the climactic scene.

So much for the good part. The bad part is that while very unrealistic, the movie was still gross, in a disgusting, dirty way. The repeated scene of the meat coming out of the meat grinder was not really especially gory, but it was used about a thousand times and got pretty tiresome. I like these nutty, cult movies, but I think Mikels has done better, and way more amusing, movies, such as "Girl in the Gold Boots". If you have seen that movie as well, you will note that several key people are in both movies, and in fact they were filmed in the same year.

Overall, I decided on three stars for boring gore and general amateurishness, although I debated about giving it four stars which is probably what it would deserve for most grade Z movie fans. The deciding factor, interestingly, was an extra on the DVD. The DVD has several extras including the director's commentary track, a filmography, behind the scenes pictures (don't expect too much), and a video 'tribute' to the movie by Bentmen called 'Immaculate Contraption'. I found 'Immaculate Contraption' to be the five most painful minutes of cinema viewing in my life. It was badly produced (and not in a campy, fun way), the music was wretched, and it was generally putrid. That became the tiebreaker and earned the film three stars instead of the four I originally intended. Save yourself the pain. 'Immaculate Contraption' is neither immaculate or a contraption, but it positively is rubbish.

This Ted V Mikels drive-in classic is definately worth at least a one-time glance. There isn't very much gore (as in some Herschell Gordon Lewis Productions) nor is there a lot of sex (as in most Russ Myer films) but this film does have some interesting characters and a unique storyline. It seems that the people at the Lotus Cat Food Company are using human flesh in their product in order to boost sales and sales are definately booming for the food "For Cats Who Love People". Trouble begins to unfold when cats all over town start to turn on their owners (the "cat attack" scenes in this film are totally off the wall!). Meanwhile, a young doctor and his blonde nurse begin to investigate the Lotus Cat Food Company and uncover the ghastly truth. The plot takes a strange twist when the company owners start using live cadavers in their product as opposed to the dead bodies they usually dig up from fresh graves...definately a must see for lovers of cult cinema! This DVD version contains the original theatrical trailer, commentary by director Ted V Mikels, a "behind the scenes" photo gallery, a rare music video entitled "Immaculate Contraption" and some highly entertaining trailers for other Ted V Mikels films.

First of all, the script and acting are OK, not great, but good enough. But what makes this flick worth seeing are the interesting characters: the lady with one leg, the retarded, funny looking janitor (Yes!, he gets a ride in the grinder.), the grave digger, and his loony wife with her doll that she thinks is her real kid. You see what I mean. The commentary by MIKELS is interesting. He certainly likes to do these things. The film footage, on the main menu, shows the corpse grinder in operation. Oh yes, the cats attacking their masters is stupid, but then that is part of the charm of this offering.

The Corpse Grinders is one of those Z grade "classics" that only appeals to a very small group of people. Most lovers of bad films are even turned off by this movie making it a kind of Cult cult movie, if such a term exists. Random folks are being attacked by their cats. Seems some loonies who run a cat food factory put corpses into the cat food, thus making the cats ravenous for human flesh. A doctor and his nurse girlfriend are out to get to the bottom of the madness. Basically that's the story, and a cool idea it is. The problem is that the movie has no edge to it. Many other Z grade exploitation directors had an edge or gimmick that made their films work, and made it easy for people to see past the low budget. Mikels, unlike his schlockmeister peers, HG Lewis, Russ Meyer, John Waters and Roger Corman, just didn't have anything new or unique to bring to the table. Ted Mikels has a cool idea, but it's not enough. No gore or nudity, or even humor for that matter(his film Astro Zombies was better in my opinion, though some might debate that). This movie might have worked out much better if it were played as camp. Sure, you really can't take what's going on seriously, but the movie seems to be taking itself quite seriously. There really aren't even any "so bad it's funny" type moments. Well, maybe one or two. I'd have to say the most entertaining way to view the movie is with Mikels' commentary track. While I do have to admit that I did actually enjoy this movie on some level, I can't recommend it to folks with any kind of confidence. Folks may be able to get past the wooden acting, amateurish look and cheap sets(after all, Herschell Gordon Lewis can make these things work to his advantage), but I don't think alot of people will really dig this one coz it's just missing that "something" that could really make it work. Hell, someone must have liked it though. It did fairly well at the drive-ins, and Mikels' career continues to this day! The man did make money off his films, so someone out there is watching. You can watch too, but do it at your own risk.

This isn't for gore hounds but it is a treat for lovers of wacky cult cinema... and cat owners. The title and concept are great and this an enjoyably wacky little movie. The over-the-top poster on the DVD cover is a treat too. Not for everybody but a blast for those who "get" these types of things. I dug it. The commentary by Mikels is a delight!

MMM-MMM-MMM, come and get it! Ted V. Mikels (Astro Zombies) brings us this delectable dose of cretinous carnage entitled, THE CORPSE GRINDERS. It seems that felines all over town are feasting on Lotus Cat Food, only to turn on their owners like tiny, needle-clawed, razor-fanged furballs of death! The guys at Lotus have been adding their secret ingredient (yepper, human flesh) and selling it to cat-lovers everywhere! Only a doctor and his trusty nurse seem to have a clue as to what's going on. Will they be able to stop these god-awful ghouls before tabbies rule the world? Can they put an end to the unspeakable horrors of the corpse-grinding machine? Let us hope so! Watch this one as part of a double feature with MOTEL HELL. Bon Appetite...

Well, I'm not sure what exactly I was expecting. Cujo, the cat version maybe. "Schlock" director Ted V. Mikels had a brilliant idea for this low budget grindhouse type flick.

Cat lovers, ever wonder just what exactly is in that can of Friskies your furball is happy to devour?
In order to cut costs and make some yummy premium cat food, the shady folks at Lotus Cat Food Company decide to grind up some dead bodies and serve it up to the unsuspecting felines. Some nice harmless chow.

Great idea, except for one little side effect--it makes the kitties crazy for human flesh! I'm talking about psycho 4-legged monsters with whiskers. Oh the horror!

Unfortunately, this film doesn't get near campy enough to make it too exciting. Like I said, it's a great idea, but it takes itself way too seriously. No buttload of cats on a vicious rampage. No gory shocking flesh devourage. No gratuitous nudity thrown in just for kicks. Nothing! (me pouting)

The Corpse Grinders does have a little bit of blood and a cat dissection scene. There are also some "so bad it's funny" moments (kitty munching on a lady's jugular?), but it seems pretty toned down for this type of flick. It just doesn't quite compensate for the bad acting and low production values. Oh well. Hollywood, how bout a remake of this one!?!?! Dang that'd be sweet.

For Z-list horror afficionados only.

This is a film that only Ted V. Mikels could make; I only wish that John Carradine could have been around to participate. For those of you who have not seen the original, the Lotus Cat Food Company makes cat food from people. This film not only furthers that plotline, but takes it a step further and also inserts a plot about an intergalactic space war between the cat people and the dog people. At this point I must issue a stern warning: do not under any circumstances attempt any activity such as eating or drinking, or Heaven forbid, running on a treadmill (like I was) during the first five minutes of this film! I am just glad that I didn't wind up in traction. The CGI special effects, makeup, and costumes of the cat and dog people are far and away the most inept in film history. Ed Wood could not do worse. I am completely serious. The introduction of this movie is absolutely breathtaking in its badness. But, and I must emphasize this, it's bad in a good way.

The film has a fairly scattered plot (read: "hard to follow"), with numerous subplots in which an alien goes grocery shopping, the alien ship faxes demands to the White House for Lotus Cat Food, Ted Mikels makes a hilarious cameo as a professor bicycling through the Nevada desert in shorts and a tam-o-shanter, etc. Really, there is something for everyone here.

I don't like gore films, but this is gore at it's least plausible and most campy. The film is a funny, cheap laugh, and is great for people who enjoy laughably poor movies. There is a fascinating commentary track with Ted (learn more about his tam!) as well as two behind the scenes features, although the outtakes are less entertaining than you might expect.

This one is hard to grade, but I settled on three stars as a compromise. It is very economically made (OK, it's cheap...) and poorly acted; on the other hand, it scores very highly on the schlock-meter. Depending on your reason for watching this will be a hit or a miss: if you want real scares or gore (or a well made movie) look elsewhere; if you want to laugh at a campy horror feature, this can't be beat.

When I went out shopping, it was a lucky find. It's not exactly a cinematic masterpiece, but it's cheap kicks to pass the time. My hobby is collecting horror movies, so it was more for the sake of "Oh I got that", than anything else. As long as you don't try to take it seriously, it's just funny. Ever since I heard about it, I was curious. Corpses to Cat food is the base plot, with a lot of bad acting and corny dialogue.