5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
DONT WASTE YOUR TIME or money, September 24, 2004
CORPSES ARE FOREVER is one of the worst movies i've ever seen. so much is wrong with this awful movie that i don't know where to begin. for starters, the acting is terrible. this is the most ungifted group of actors that i've had the displeasure of watching. the main character's kung fu fight with the zombies is so lame that its not even funny. the punches and kicks are blatantly fake even with the camera's loss of depth perception. secondly the sound is nearly as bad as the actors. some sort of loud background noise overpowers the dialog in most scenes; which is almost a good thing when you consider the horrible plot. i was so angry that i stopped the movie half way through so that i could come vent my disdain for this movie.. i'm not even sure if i will turn it back on. and now, as i think, im begining to get angry with myself for even wasting my time berating this movie. however, if this review prevents even one person from watching this atrocity, then my efforts will not have been in vain.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Corpses are Forever Lame, February 5, 2005
It's been a long time since I've had a chance to sit down to a horror movie/zombie movie that I just grabbed off the shelf. So, of course I forgot to numb my senses with booze. I regret this oversight, thanks to this B-Movie crapathon.
Here's a synopsis: It starts as a black and white suprnatural mystery. Then, it's a "zombie" movie where there are a grand total of twelve zombies that are about as terrifying as a throw pillow. They don't even kill anybody. NOT ONE ZOMBIE CASUALTY. THEN it's a spy thriller with a Gay General who looks like he's dressed to be camouflage at a Jimmy Buffet concert. THEN it's an amnesia mystery with a nurse that stepped out of a porno (or a Florida strip club) and forgot to bring her nudity. THEN it's... well, this is taking to long. It's CRAP.
If you're going to make a movie on a limited budget and work so hard on something to create your art, WHY would you half-ass it so badly? The fight scenes are less convincing than a WWF match between two forty-year-old jobbers. The writing is so convoluted that I could jam a taco in my butt and come out with a more thought-out story. At one point, I believe that the writers ran out of ideas, so they had a woman with blood on her head start GRANTING WISHES.
It's not exciting and it's NOT scary. I've seen pillow fights with more terror and intensity. Even the guy who was IN THE MOVIE wrote a lousy review.
Here are some questions for the filmmakers:
Is this a zombie movie because they were filming one next door? Were these people on a lunchbreak from another zombie movie? Have these filmmakers ever heard of a retake? (If the actor can't hit the slide release on his pistol the first time, try saying: "CUT, do it again." ) When you kick a fat zombie woman in the teeth (assuming you get closer than two feet from her face...) why does she just STAND THERE? Where did you get that cheesy rubber mask? WHY did Debbie Rochon get involved with this travesty? And MOST importantly: IF THE WORLD IS INFESTED WITH ZOMBIES, WHY ARE YOU CRUISING AROUND IN A CONVERTIBLE CADDY? I mean, it's a nice car, but not real tactical for a CIA agent. Not so low-profile.
In short, I can't say this movie was a waste of my time or money. It taught me three valuable lessons:
1) If I can't write a one-paragraph synopsis of the plot that is accurate to the script, I need to rewrite the script.
2) If a movie doesn't scare my wife, it's not scary at all.
3) If zombies ever DO invade the earth, the place to be is Florida, because there will only be a few of them and they'll be too busy commuting between the three locations of this film to worry about doing anyone any harm.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Corpses Are Crap, June 1, 2005
Why do I continue to sodomize myself by viewing low budget trash like 'Corpses Are Forever'? I guess my penchant for self-flagellation is overpowering my need for self-preservation. Let's just put it this way: this flick is so bad that after watching it, I couldn't walk right for a month.
Listen to your gut reaction(i.e. the movie sucks worse than you think it possibly could)when you see the cover of this DVD and don't try to fool yourself into thinking that this could be a low budget zombie flick that is good. 'Corpses Are Forever' is truly pile of crap. The script is embarassing, the acting is terrible, the special effects are pathetic, and the camerawork looks to have been done by sixth graders. The absolute worst part of this film though are the action scenes. The makers of the film have tried to stage some big action pieces with the lame hero taking on numerous zombies at once in hand-to-hand combat. Obviously the makers of the film know nothing about action. They are slow, no contact is ever made when a punch is thrown, and they are just pathetic. These are the worst action scenes ever put to celluloid. The lame hero's spinkicks have to be seen to be believed. Its just sad. The action here looks like what would be done by middle schoolers for a school project. Pathetic.
'Corpses Are Forever' is just another log from the turd factory. It should be filed in the "Crapfest" bin along with other turds like 'House Of The Dead', 'One Of Them', and 'Alone In The Dark'. Ugh.
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