Customer Reviews

Couldn't Keep It To Myself: Testimonies From Our Imprisoned Sisters.

5 star:		(24)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

As a reader interested in women's issues I expected to like this book, but I did not expect to be completely captivated and overcome by it, which is what actually happened. It is presented in such a compelling way you become absorbed by each inmate's story and exeriences. It is at the same time heart wrenching and informative. Some common threads run through the individual stories yet each is so unique you feel the pain of each individual story. Photographs of each writer, both past and present, help to make you feel a connection. I gained insight into cultures and lifestyles I knew nothing about and saw a part of life so realistically described that I felt I had been there myself. Wally Lamb did an extraordinary job putting this project together and the result is a book that I feel will benefit everyone and should be read by all.

This book has already caused a stir for all the wrong reasons. Various victims' rights groups have taken issue with this book for the following reasons: (a) that Wally Lamb would devote his time to, of all things, a group of criminals; and (b) that the stories in this book humanize their writers rather than focuses on the victims of their crimes. It is undisputed that the women who wrote these memoirs did a variety of illegal, immoral and awful things. However, if you read these stories, you will begin to wonder who the victims really are.

The women's stories are uniformly heartbreaking; nearly all the authors were victims of sexual abuse. Nearly all grew up poor. Nearly all had minimal or questionable parental support. And about half wrote about abusive romantic relationships. Several of the authors are in prison for killing their abusive spouse and/or significant other. While it was wrong for them to take their husband's lives, it is also understandable once you read their harrowing tales.

I was especially moved by Bonnie Foreshaw's "Faith, Power and Pants" and Diane Bartholomew's "Snapshots of my former life." Both went from unbearable childhoods to atrocious marriages. Both are clearly angry with a system that has failed them. Yet both write of finding hope despite all the indignities life has thrown at them. As a final indignity, Bartholomew developed cancer while writing her memoir. Only then was she paroled for the murder of her abusive husband. It is clear that she was only paroled because the State of Connecticutt did not want to pay her chemotherapy bills.

This book can be harrowing to read but it left me with a sense of hope. Beautiful women exist underneath the prison fatigues, who have survived despite the brutal conditions of the penitentiary system. Each story in this collection moved me in a different way. I can say that about very few books.

I bought this book so I could read what a woman from my own community wrote. I expected to get through only her story the night I brought the book home with me. I'd already read other writings of hers, so I figured this woman's story would be a good read, which it was. After reading that one story, however, I read Mr. Lamb's intro - then I just couldn't stop reading. I read the entire book in one sitting!
In the past, especially being a social worker, I've read many stories about every possible life situation, but I have never read anything like this book. By the end of each story I felt a real sense of kinship and sisterhood with that story's author. I find it impossible to choose which is the most thought-provoking or well-written.
If this book is typical of Wally Lamb's ability to teach and to give of his heart, then I believe he is not only brilliant but the kind of mentor other incarcerated people need working with them. Thank goodness they couldn't keep it to themselves!

Consider me a reader who was curious about the "public outcry" against publication of this book. I'm not sure what book was read prior to various comments and judgements being made public, through the press, but I don't think I read the same book.
What I read was a collection of powerful stories written about life experiences prior to criminal behavior forming, of lessons learned, responsibility taken, sadness, remorse, and plans for living differently in the future. I read stories of hope, despite tragic past errors.
Reading this book caused me to think about things I don't often think about. I now realize that anyone who has ever driven under the influence of alcohol, used a drug to numb emotional pain, or been involved in an abusive relationship should not judge because they might easily end up with some of the same problems, actions, and consequences; this would include many of my friends and myself as well.
It took a great deal of willingness, courage and hard work to delve so deeply into painful issues, then to expose the most intimate details of their explorations to each other and also to the reading public. Perhaps some non-incarcerated individuals will read this book and think about working up the same courage and willingness to take action concerning their own situations before it becomes to late for them too.
One writer states: "Hope is a miracle that can become contageous." This woman has been out of prison for over a decade now and has fully turned her life around; she has walked away from an abusive marriage, graduated from college, and now works in the field of human services. She also is a tutor of college English for disadvantaged individuals. Kudos to Mr. Lamb for caring enough to help her, and apparantly he did so PRIOR to beginning his current workshop at YORK.
Shouldn't that be one of the relative points of a prisoner's experience, to learn lessons and to change so when a sentence is over, neither they or those around them will continue being wronged or hurt in the future?
Perhaps instead of criticizing Wally Lamb, we in society need to take a closer look at his theory concerning therapeutic writing and his teaching style. Other prisons and ultimately the world outside of prisons might greatly benifit by following his lead.

The writer's job is "to turn the unspeakable into words--not just into any words, but if we can, nto rhythm and blues"- Anne Lamott.

In this somewhat controversial collection of stories, the authors have fulfilled the mission that Lamott sets for writers, above. Wally Lamb, prize-winning "Oprah" author of "I Know This Much Is True" and "She's Come Undone" has acted as teacher, mentor and inspirational leader at a writing workshop in a women's prison in Connecticut. He's compiled an anthology of stories from 10 incarcerated in prison, and a woman who teaches in the prison. To say that the collection is stunning is an understatement.

Wanting to keep in tune with Connecticut's "Son of Sam" law, that does not allow writers to profit from writing about their crimes, Lamb successfully keep their focus on the tales of their early lives, and each woman's coming face to face with what she did and what her life will be like in prison. There are no sad-sack, pity me stories here. What you will learn is that there are painful incidents in these women's childhoods, that they are finally able to face on paper. They hold themselves accountable for what they've done, and they use their craft to provide not only their own inspiration, but inspirational thoughts for women everywhere.

"Orbiting Izzy" - one of two stories from former inmate Nancy Whitely is the piece that sold the idea to Lamb's publisher. Whitely may have the freshest voice of all the authors represented, but you will find evocative moments in each woman's tale. Following the story, there is an information piece about each author, and it is astounding that these women have all found not only their voices, but their hopes for the future in all of the accomplishments they've made while incarcerated.

This collection is not to be missed by anyone who has struggled to find themselves as an adult-- it is a gift of faith and humility for us all.

From author Brenda Medina:

"Beyond the steel door, there's a mourning
Grief for misplaced innocence....

Past the bright light, there's a longing
One that will not go away ..."

The collage cover of the book was also made by inmates as replicas of the Mona Lisa. It is a testament to women who's lives were shattered, coming together to make a perfect illustration of the wondrous words inside this book.

This wonderful book has changed the way I have viewed women in prison. Most of the women in this book suffered from one or several of factors like drug and sexual abuse, domestic violence, low self esteem, and even the loss of a loved one. The amazing thing is that every woman in this book has achieved their individual aspirations and goals while in prison or upon her release. I loved the story of Nancy Birkla who was convicted of drug dealing and served 7 years in York Correctional Institition. What is remarkable is what she acheived after her release. She earned a college degree with a perfect 4.0 grade point average in human services. She later worked as a coordinator for an agency that provides life skills counseling, housing and job opportunities to adults with developmental disabilities. I enjoyed reading the story of Barbara Parson Lane who was convicted of killing her husband after he sexually molested his step grand daughter. She became involved in a variety of interesting pursuits while incarcerated like working in a program in which inmates train Labrador retrievers to assist adults and children with special needs. This incredibly ambitious woman also studies computers, journalism, and yoga.

I loved the story of Brenda Medina who was convicted for her participation in a gang related killing as a teenager. She has become a bilingual tutor and has taught Hispanic inmates to read, speak, and write English. Brenda also serves a reporter, photographer and editor for the inmate newsletter. Bonnie Foreshaw was the first person convicted for the murder of a pregnant woman in Connecticut which was an accident. She actively supports and is involved in anti violence and literacy groups.

The story of Diane Bartholomew is very moving too. She was physically, emotionally, and sexually abused through her twenty four year marriage. She later experienced a breakdown which led her to shoot and kill her husband. However her life did not end there. She later earned a bachelors degree in social work with hopes of becoming a mental health counselor Diane even fought a courageous battle with breast cancer while in prison.

This book is filled with hard luck stories about women who have endured great adversity in their lives. It is written so truthfully as each story tugs at your emotions. I enjoyed it very much.

Wally Lamb, who wrote the best book I've ever read (I Know This Much Is True), has been teaching writing in a women's prison for several years. 11 of his students contributed autobiographical essays to this amazing book. The stories are not self-pitying; they are thoughtful reflections on real American lives. This book will stay with you forever. I highly recommend it.

I'm another one that couldn't put this book down until I had heard all. Thank you to these women for the courage it took to share their lives with the rest of us. The writing does vary in style and cohesiveness. But each story is beautiful in its own right in its sadness. I think of the other women in the group who were not published and feel they must be heroes as well for being able to write about their lives at all. This book will change your life. Reach out to each other, help those children around you today living in the world of neglect, abuse, and poverty. It is all about their pants, as you will see when you read Bonnie Foreshaw's piece.

Thank you, Wally Lamb, for helping to give these women's voices to the world. If every new writer could look as deeply and write as truthfully as these participants in his workshop at a Connecticut prison, there would be a lot more books worth reading. Many of these women have a very natural gift for language, and their stories (mostly nonfiction, but some fiction) are as honest as writing gets. The first two essays alone make the book a worthwhile purchase; I hope some of these writers go on to publish more.

I think that the book was a good read. Many of the stories were somewhat repetitive, altough from different voices in different environments. I think that misunderstood teen girls who have been through similar situations would benfit better from the reading of this book than most other people.