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Couple Skills: Making Your Relationship Work Paperback – December 1, 2006

59 customer reviews

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Couple Skills: Making Your Relationship Work + Communication Miracles for Couples: Easy and Effective Tools to Create More Love and Less Conflict + Why Can't You Read My Mind? Overcoming the 9 Toxic Thought Patterns that Get in the Way of a Loving Relationship
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Editorial Reviews

Review

From the Publisher

This revised and expanded edition of the classic relationship-skills book offers couples a comprehensive approach to better communication, greater intimacy, and deeper commitment. The new edition includes way to use acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) principles for better conflict management.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 328 pages
  • Publisher: New Harbinger Publications; Second Edition edition (December 1, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 157224481X
  • ISBN-13: 978-1572244818
  • Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 6 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (59 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #16,276 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Matthew McKay, PhD, is a professor at the Wright Institute in Berkeley, CA. He has authored and coauthored numerous books, including The Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook, Self-Esteem, Thoughts and Feelings, When Anger Hurts, and ACT on Life Not on Anger. His books combined have sold more than 2.5 million copies. McKay received his PhD in clinical psychology from the California School of Professional Psychology. In private practice, he specializes in the cognitive behavioral treatment of anxiety and depression.

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

48 of 48 people found the following review helpful By doctor_beth #1 HALL OF FAMETOP 50 REVIEWERVINE VOICE on April 7, 2008
Format: Paperback
Couple Skills is written by three established authors in the self-help field. The authors argue that their approach is unique in that it focuses on action and change, thereby requiring the active involvement of the reader. Furthermore, they have designed each chapter of the book to stand alone, thus allowing readers to pick and choose the sections of the book which are most personally applicable.

As a clinical psychologist, I believe that the main strength of this book is its practical approach. Every chapter contains a wealth of helpful case examples, interactive worksheets, and constructive couple exercises. However, as the topic areas addressed become more complicated, so do the interventions, thus demanding an even greater level of participation from the reader. As the authors say in their introduction, this book is designed for couples who are willing to work; there must be a real commitment to engaging fully in the activities suggested in order to derive benefit. Topics addressed include listening, expressing feelings/needs, providing reinforcement, negotiating, problem-solving, coping with anger, and assertiveness techniques.

For couples who share joint motivation to work on their relationship and who are willing to put in both the time and effort required to learn and practice the skills set forth here, this book is likely to be useful and informative. However, those who feel more ambivalent towards their partners and/or are looking for a quick fix are likely to be disappointed in work-intensive approach necessary to obtain benefit from this skills-focused guide. Overall, I rate this book 4 1/2 stars, as it does require a high level of commitment.
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40 of 43 people found the following review helpful By Susan S. Harper on September 14, 2007
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This is my favorite couples' therapy book. Not only do I use it constantly when I work with couples, but I've recommended and shared it with my interns and with psychiatric residents who are working with couples for the first time. Practical and down-to-earth, it provides useful examples and exercises for couples, both new and long-term. I highly recommend it.
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18 of 18 people found the following review helpful By J. Chavez on February 5, 2009
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
We love this book! It has saved our relationship! I recommend this to any couple that is going thru a rut. it has excellent communication exercises that can be put into play immediately for lasting results.
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14 of 15 people found the following review helpful By Rachel C Hodgetts on February 11, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book can really save a marriage, even if read by just one partner. This made me realize my own role in contributing to the problems in our marriage, and gave helpful advice for how to approach potential hot issues in a more productive, caring manner. I can't praise it enough. Much of this may be just basic psychology, but it works! I have bought a few copies to give to friends.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Lizz on August 17, 2012
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
This book gives you tools to use in the relationship your working on. It doesn't give you a false sense of everything will be fine if you read this what it does do is give you tools to use in this relationship to help yourself bit fix the other person.
It also allowed me to see things that I was doing to help me understand why, and then put them in check.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Korikori on December 13, 2014
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I haven't finished the book. However, reading first chapter already made me feel confident this is a great book.
It helps you realize what your problem is and actually giving you the solution. It is truly teaching you a skill how to be a good partner. Which many people, including myself, is lacking due to upbringing, personally, etc. it's helpful and very practical!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By nhmtnbkr on October 30, 2014
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Very good read with lots of helpful tips for dealing with a problematic significant other, and for learning to better oneself. A very dense book though, so it's not an easy read in many ways.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Perette Halpin on January 31, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I use the defense mechanisms part in my couples work VERY frequently. Seems like the examples are diverse in their language.
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