Customer Reviews

The Courage to be a Single Mother: Becoming Whole Again After Divorce

5 star:		(25)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(1)
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I always took pride in giving my husband and kids the kind of happy family life that I never had growing up. So when my husband suddenly abandoned us for another woman I didn't know what to do first or where to turn for help. I was a stay-at-home mom so we had immediate money problems on top of the emotional ones. My sister put me in touch with a counselor who suggested 2 very helpful books. One was called, "SIMPLE MONEY SOLUTIONS: 10 WAYS YOU CAN STOP FEELING OVERWHELMED BY MONEY AND START MAKING IT WORK FOR YOU" by Nancy Lloyd (a Family Circle columnist and money expert). She includes a lot of financial advice for divorced parents and showed me what I needed to do IMMEDIATELY after the divorce. If I hadn't read this valuable information as soon as I did I would have had to sell the house and move my family into a small apartment in a less-than-desirable school district. Next, I started reading "THE COURAGE TO BE A SINGLE MOTHER" and it has been a roadmap for the emotional matters facing our family during a time when it's hard to get up in the morning let alone make good decisions. It's not an overstatement to say that these two books saved my family's dignity and have made it easier for us to get back to a normal life. These books will help you remember your spirit and bring your family closer together.

If I read one more article about how some big celebrity couple is having an amicable divorce, but the wife and kids are doing great, I think I'm going to scream! No normal woman or child can go through divorce without some Emotional trauma. More importantly, THESE CELEBRITIES DON'T HAVE MONEY ISSUES TO DEAL WITH. When you don't know how you can keep up the payments on your house (or if you will have to relocate your kids to another town or at least another school system) there's a sense of urgency that I never see celebrities discuss in People magazine. When going through a divorce I discovered that there is a laundry list of money matters that I had to work out for my kids at a time when I was least emotinally prepared to do it. My therapist and several women in my support group urged me to read a book called "SIMPLE MONEY SOLUTIONS: 10 WAYS YOU CAN STOP FEELING OVERWHELMED BY MONEY AND START MAKING IT WORK FOR YOU" by Family Circle Columnist, Nancy Lloyd. Her eye-opening chapter on dealing with the financial aspects of divorce and how to go about finding the best lawyer, financial planner and tax and pension experts made the difference between my kids having a financially secure future and not. Nancy includes lots of other important advice on money matters but this chapter was the one I (and my kids) would have lived to regret had I not been told about it. And Sheila Ellison's book has helped me deal with many emotional aspects of the divorce that took me months to even realize my kids and I were going through (the shock of the divorce lasts much longer than I ever would have thought). Both books are written in a warm and supportive way. What Sheila and Nancy write will spare you and your kids a lot of unneeded suffering. Both books got my kids and me through the worst time of our lives.

My husband and I began drifting apart after our second child was born. Still nothing prepared me for the fear, anger and financial problems I suddenly faced when he left. My sister helped me through the first few weeks and gave me 2 books that literally saved my family. The first book she had seen Diane Sawyer discuss on "GOOD MORNING AMERICA" with the author Nancy LLoyd. It's called "SIMPLE MONEY SOLUTIONS: 10 WAYS YOU CAN STOP FEELING OVERWHELMED BY MONEY AND START MAKING IT WORK FOR YOU." Nancy really understands what a divorcing mother needs to know about her finances and lays out about a dozen important steps to take as soon as you know you're headed for divorce. I was given several other books by friends, but "SIMPLE MONEY SOLUTIONS" was the easiest to understand and follow -- and the only one that really made sense. Once I got my finances in order (and it's the last thing you FEEL like dealing with then but if you don't you and your kids will regret it) and my husband and I divvied up the house, his pension and our other property I could then deal with the emotional and day-to-day problems of suddenly being without my kids' father. "THE COURAGE TO BE A SINGLE MOTHER" which I saw discussed by OPRAH has shown me that I am not alone and that it takes months or longer to start accepting our new life. Until you reach that stage you really can't move on.

Both these books got me through the worst time of my life. My family is stronger and at last beginning to regain a sense of normalcy. Sheila Ellison and Nancy Lloyd are angels on earth and are helping many mothers and children find hope and happiness again.

Reading this book made me come face to face with the denial I was still in about my divorce. And worst of all, my kids were suffering. On the one hand were the emotional scars and on the other were the financial crisis I was living through on a daily basis (my husband ran up huge debts before the divorce and then filed for bankruptcy. He's living the high life with his girlfriend and I am struggling to pay off his bills). Since February, two books that I saw on television have changed my life. The first is "SIMPLE MONEY SOLUTIONS: 10 WAYS YOU CAN STOP FEELING OVERWHELMED BY MONEY AND START MAKING IT WORK FOR YOU" by Nancy Lloyd (who I saw on "GOOD MORNING AMERICA"). Her book has shown me so much, including how to get my husband's creditors to forgive $3,200 of his debts so that I can use my hard-earned money to help my kids live better. It also showed me what to tell and show my daughters and son about money so that they don't start out their adult lives as financially naive as I was. A few weeks later I saw "THE COURAGE TO BE A SINGLE MOTHER" discussed on "OPRAH" and it has helped me with many of the emotional issues surrounding single parenthood.

Both books are blessings and my kids and I are much happier and closer as a result of my buying and reading these 2 books. They can help you too.

This book is a smart, emotionally charged read. I laughed out loud serveral times and cried at others. A page turner full of dramatic highs and lows, Sheila Ellison tells us the story of how she overcame divorce and built a new life for herself and her children. Throughout the book we also hear stories of other women who have survived divorce. Covering topics such as, child support, weekend party time with dad....then back home to fuddy duddy mom , re-entering the job force after giving up years to build a family, dating again, facing peer approval /dissaproval, finding a new home, handling attorneys.....readers can learn from the stories of these capable women. I did.

This book is very insightful and comforting at a time when you feel your most lost and alone. In Ms. Ellison's book she thoroughly examines the many emotions you are feeling as you best prepare yourself for single motherhood. The many stories of the other women helped me to see the various phases you go through in the divorce process, but also helped me to see that although each situation is different the fears and challenges we all face are the same. This book helped me get through some very rough times by giving me hope, comfort, calm, and perspective. As new situations come up or old ones play out over and over again I often find myself pulling this book out and rereading sections that I find helpful. This book is a must have for anyone going through a divorce.

This book helped me get through my own divorce experience and realize the things I was going through (fear, frustration, uncertainty, numbness...), others had also gone through; and made it! The book offers an uncomplicated look at the process of healing after one's dreams are forever changed, and offers hope for a fine future after the trauma of a divorce. I would recommend this book to anyone seriously contemplating, in the midst of, or having survived the divorce process.

This is a wonderful book that I fully believe can help any mother who is going through a divorce. While I count my Blessings for having not gone through a divorce myself, in fact I don't even have children yet either, but I'm still praying that maybe one day I can, someone very close to me recently has suffered through the pain of a divorce and now she faces life as a single mother of three children. So when I heard about this book, I just had to check it out because I so wanted to be better able to understand what she is going through so I could then help her better. Now that I've read the book, the best compliment I can give Sheila's beautiful and insightful book is that I want to give a copy to my friend. You know, we all have sisters and girlfriends in this very situation and it is so important for us all to be there for one another, so please read this book and then share what you've learned. I know the book has certainly helped me and I pray that it can help my friend too.

Lily of the Valley Carnie, author, Chi Gung: Chinese Healing, Energy, and Natural Magick

They say the best writing comes from life experience and that rings true with this book. Sheila Ellison does a wonderful job explaining her experience with divorce and single motherhood. The emotions she described were right on the nose of what you go through during the process of leaving, of legal issues, of trying to heal and discover the new you when its all said and done. By the time I got to the fourth sentence in the book I had pen in hand and was underlining like crazy. I've NEVER found a book that has inspired me to do so.

Every woman going through or even thinking seriously about going through a divorce should pick up a copy of this book. It DOES take COURAGE to step out and make the move to a new life but with this book as your guide you'll know you're not alone and YOU WILL BE OK.

It's very simple why I love this book. It comforted me. It made me understand that my feelings--insecurities, anger, passions, and fear--were okay. Sheila supports women's growth, empowerment, passion, anger, sexuality and sadness. Through her story and the stories she shares of other women, she provides a safe place and a platform from which women can begin to rebuild their lives.

And after the book comforted me, it began to give me strength. The energy and enthusiasm to make my life what I wanted--for my children and ME! It helped me understand my own mother's painful divorce and my own pain as a child of divorce as well--and have compassion for both my mom and myself. I can now accept responsibility for my choices, and better yet, I can take charge of my own life and make it fabulous. Sheila and the women in her book are powerful examples.