Customer Reviews

A Course in Happiness: Mastering the 3 Levels of Self-Understanding That Lead to True and Lasting Contentment

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Ever wonder why some people remain happy, even during times of great hardship, and yet others who have achieved great wealth and success are terribly unhappy, sometimes to the point of suicide? Happiness can be elusive until you master the three essential levels of self-understanding: integration, intimacy, and integrity.

Ever try to figure out what makes you (or someone close to you) tick? That's integration, a task which can take some of us a lifetime to achieve. In the sixties, we all tried to "get our act together," an expression popularized by the hippies. Three lessons teach us how to achieve integration: finding all facets of self; the importance of self reflection; and using stress for personal growth.

Intimacy is achieved through the quality of our relationships and our connections with the world. Since these can change at any point in time, given that we have no control over the people on the other side of the connection, we must learn to overcome grievances and learn how to move on.

Integrity is built upon our self-respect, and dependent on our ability to think through troubling emotional issues. During our life journey, many of us make mistakes, so we also must learn from our errors in order to regain our happiness.

The chapter, Surviving Hammer Blows, includes stories of people who have experienced the greatest personal tragedies imaginable, and yet were able to rebound from a despair I can only imagine (loss of a child due to a parent's faulty judgment, and a sudden onset of severe diabetes resulting in loss of both legs are just a couple of the real-life tragedies included).

Looking for specific activities to increase your happiness? Lesson 10 to the rescue! Simple pleasures can help us overcome those times of depression and sadness.

What help can this book give you? Through exercises, teaching points, and the real-life stories of Dr. Horowitz's patients, you will have all the tools you need to achieve and maintain happiness throughout your life.

I read this absorbing book in one sitting, and then spent another enjoyable afternoon reading it aloud with a friend while we talked about how it applies to ourselves. Dr. Horowitz has a gift for speaking with depth, simplicity and warmth about the pillars of a happy life, at times using his own experiences in addition to those of people who consult him in his professional practice. His guide for cultivating happiness combines essential truths with a practical, step-by-step approach to gaining greater self-knowledge. This book comes as a gift for the holiday season, and its message will continue to resonate throughout the year.

The strength and the weakness of Horowitz's book is that he draws on his experience with real people in therapy. On the one hand, his ideas are sound; on the other, they can be hard to translate into do-it-yourself. Self-help books tend to be more, probably because people want to dive right in and do something.

The exercises were hard to implement. For instance, Horowitz (e.g., p. 62) sometimes suggests that we consider pros and cons when making a decision. That's harder than it looks and not always helpful. Sometimes a big "pro" will outweigh a small set of "cons" or vice versa. In my experience, we don't always know what to list; when people move to a new location, they're often surprised by what they like and dislike most.

Similarly, it's not intuitively obvious how to list "self-concepts.: Or (p 242), "An emotional theme may have different meanings in different mood states. By comparing such views you can progressively integrate ideas." Psychologists (including some pop-psych authors) have pointed out that mood influences memory and response to situations. But I got lost with this one

Horowitz's examples are interesting but sometimes problematic. I was intrigued by the man who was having trouble gaining enjoyment from his life. When Horowitz tells him therapy will be expensive, the man says, "I could buy a boat." The man does buy a boat but ends up selling it to pay for the therapy. We never do hear how he resolved the issue of enjoying life...just get a plug for therapy.

And that's where I have the greatest frustration with this book. Life decisions are difficult and setting priorities is more complex than Horowitz suggests. For instance, in one scenario, Horowitz describes a woman who wants a child as well as an artistic career. She decides she can go back for an MFA later and seek a teaching position. But careers and skill development have biological clocks too.

Additionally, most examples seemed to feature people in their 20s, 30s and 40s. The examples of "older" people were separated as part of "aging." I was horrified to read about a man who became seriously immobilized with diabetes in his 50s; that's young for "aging" issues. An example of a 68-year-old physician, forced to retire, offered options that would not be available to most people. Anyway, these days people in their 50s and 60s (even 70s!) face a lot of the same challenges as their younger counterparts, with a different outlook and a different set of limitations. One of the biggest challenges of being over 50 is coping with stereotypical responses of others.

Finally, Horowitz's book may be limited in appeal because his core message seems to be about managing expectations and settling for less. After paying money for a book (let alone for therapy), I think we want something more than, "Don't set your goals too high." I'd have liked to see more examples of people who changed through Horowitz's therapy or guidelines. Mary (pp 99-101) was a great example of someone who did work toward a happy ending, but she seemed to do it on her own, intuitively.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading and reflecting on the approaches Dr. Horowitz put forth in his latest psychiatric/medical book. He clearly explained how one could carefully examine one's own mental states to foster less emotional stress, more inner peace, improved interpersonal relationships with others toward the goal of achieving greater happiness. His use of personal life events as well as many summaries of patients that he saw helped illustrate the principles he has organized and put forth in easy steps for the reader to follow. This is a scholarly achievement that will benefit all readers. Janet Westberg Peterson, M. D.

This is a must read book for anyone interested in self development, moving through change and human dynamics. Dr. Mardi Horowitz offers a unique, yet simple read on how to navigate life's many dilemmas in a meaningful and creative way. He offers simple tools for thinking through our challenges and ways we can choose to create a positive, healthy outlook towards our lives and loved ones. Practical and engaging, This book defines the steps to how we can integrate ourselves fully by re-connecting to what is important to us and creating positive thought and action schemas towards a purposeful life! In sharing his own experiences, he clearly shows that he embodies and practices the concepts he is so passionate about. Buy it now!

This book is outstanding. I have recommended it to all of my friends. I keep re-reading it because it is so valuable. The parts on overcoming grievances and traumas are especially illuminating. The author is clearly an experienced psychiatrist who has helped many people who have been lucky enough to see him. Dr. Horowitz is now trying to help even more people and we are all benefiting from his effort. This is the best self-help book that I have ever read.

astondingly insightful, a must read for anyone searching for or already on the path to happiness

Ok, I admit when I saw the title I groaned, because I figured this was one more sappy book like the thousands that line the bookshelves of various book stores. And having lost my husband, raised a child with medical issues and then losing a child, I figured this would be one more woe is me, wallow wallow wallow book. What I realized when reading the book was how blessed I was and what a glass half full type person I was. It was interesting to read so many interesting stories of people who had really messed up lives.

Part Three Integrity and Part Four Weathering the Storms are very good, because the author doesn't baby people, but challenges them to grow up and make adult choices. Lets face it, how often do we even hear the word Integrity these days? Think hard over the past year with bank and auto company bail outs and all the lame excuses we have heard and how its the innocent (taxpayers) who are paying for the mistakes others have made. Me thinks these CEO's need a copy of the book!

Dr. Horowitz has presented events from his life and that of his patients to give us valuable lessons in creating happiness and well-being in our own lives. He shows us how to deal with stress and manage stressful situations. Happiness does not come easily. As Dr. Horowitz says, it has to be worked at. This book gives the reader the tools needed to change their lives. For example, he shows us how important it is to have integrity, to know our values.

Highly recommended.

- Susanna K. Hutcheson