Customer Reviews

Of Course You're Angry: A Guide to Dealing with the Emotions of Substance Abuse

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This is the best book on anger I've ever read. It applies to everyone, not
just those dealing with substance abuse. It is clear, well-developed and
debunks the common myth that exploding to "get things off your chest"
is healthy. It is not. It's discussion of the two types of anger styles, the
"violent" and the "nice person" is exactly on target. A close relative who
who has been emotionally unreachable, read this book, recognized himself and was deeply touched. The book reached him. I found that to
be almost miraculous. I've read the book twice and have bought it for
friends. It clearly explains how to express your anger without doing
more damage and retaining your own dignity. Bravo to the authors for
an elegant book. Thank you . I am so grateful that I found this book.

I first read this text in 1998, and cannot recommend it highly enough for someone working through their own issues in learning how to express anger and deal with it in effective ways. I recommend the text to clients with anger issues (either suppressing it, or expressing it inappropriately).

This is a great book. It's kind of specifically written to women who have abusive alcoholic husbands. But then it's really written to anyone who has ever had a long-term interaction with someone with anger issues. Really, everyone I know who has read this book really connects with it.

Here's how my gift-giving conversation goes. A friend of mine says to me, "Joseph, I'm so frustrated, last night, [insert name of significant other], said [insert something that I recognize as abusive behavior]"

Then I listen for a while, maybe half an hour or so. They talk about how they're the peacemaker, but that it's ironic because they're so frustrated. It's amazing how often substance abuse has a connection to verbal or physical abuse.

Then, I say, "Wow, this is really just like one of the coolest books I've ever read. It explains why you're angry. Then I tell them why the book says Of Course You're Angry. Then I tell them I'll give them a copy. I give them my copy, and order another one from amazon. Weird, but this situation repeats every few months.

One cool thing about the book is it says, "There's no such thing as uncontrollable rage." It walks you through this myth, and says, "It's amazing how abusive husbands are able to control their 'uncontrollable rage' when the police are on their doorstep."

Then it says that it's actually a good thing to call the police on an abusive person, because abusive people only pick on people who they think are smaller and weaker, and people upon whom picking on yields no repercussions (simpler language than that though). The book says that if you call the police on an abusive person, then every time after, the abusive person will think, "hmmm, maybe I better lay off, or I'll get the police called on me," so doing that actually really helps stop the abusive cycle.

Get one now, or I'll buy one for you.

This book was a life changer years ago and I wanted it for my children. I received them quickly