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Covenant Marriage: Building Communication and Intimacy Hardcover – September 1, 2003

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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

GARY CHAPMAN is the author of the New York Times bestselling The Five Love Languages book series. He is the director of Marriage and Family Life Consultants, Inc., and travels around the world presenting seminars. Gary's radio program airs on more than 100 stations. For more information, visit (www.garychapman.org.)

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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 215 pages
  • Publisher: B&H Publishing Group (September 1, 2003)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0805425764
  • ISBN-13: 978-0805425765
  • Product Dimensions: 9.4 x 6.5 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (49 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #73,287 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Married more than 45 years to Karolyn, Dr. Gary Chapman is just the man to turn to for help on improving or healing our most important relationships. His own life experiences, plus over thirty-five years of pastoring and marriage counseling, led him to publish his first book in the Love Language series, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. Millions of readers credit this continual New York Times bestseller with saving their marriages by showing them simple and practical ways to communicate their love to their partner.
Since the success of his first book, Dr. Chapman has expanded his Five Love Languages series to specifically reach out to teens, singles, men, and children (co-authored with Dr. Ross Campbell).
He is the author of numerous other books published by Moody Publishers/Northfield Publishing, including The World's Easiest Guide to Family Relationships, Anger, The Family You've Always Wanted, The Marriage You've Always Wanted, Desperate Marriages, God Speaks Your Love Language (Jan 09), Parenting Your Adult Child, and Hope for the Separated. He co-authored The Five Languages of Apology with Dr. Jennifer Thomas.
Chapman speaks to thousands of couples nationwide through his weekend marriage conferences. He hosts a nationally syndicated radio program, Love Language Minute, and a Saturday morning program, Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman, that air on more than 100 stations. Dr. Chapman also serves as senior associate pastor at Calvary Baptist Church in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.
Dr. Chapman holds BA and MA degrees in anthropology from Wheaton College and Wake Forest University, respectively, MRE and PhD degrees from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, and has completed postgraduate work at the University of North Carolina and Duke University.
Dr. Chapman and his wife have two adult children and two grandchildren, and currently live in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

63 of 63 people found the following review helpful By FaithfulReader.com on January 24, 2004
Format: Hardcover
Popular author and relationship expert Gary Chapman adds yet another valuable marriage volume to his portfolio with COVENANT MARRIAGE. Well known for his bestselling series of titles based on "The Five Love Languages," he strives in his latest work to move couples from a contract mentality toward covenant matrimony.
Decrying the growing divorce rate among Christians, Chapman calls readers to a closer commitment to the cause of Christ. In his estimation there isn't the social stigma attached to divorce that there once was, and this is largely a result of divorce becoming culturally acceptable in the church.
Chapman suggests that communication and intimacy are essential to maintaining the sacredness of the marriage relationship, and he outlines the means to achieving them with skill and sensitivity. Identifying the types of unhealthy communication patterns and the five levels of communication, he offers readers useful material in a meaningful manner.
As Chapman cleverly points out, "The word communication is found in the dictionary between the words commotion and community." Building on that thought, he suggests to couples that community is the result of good communication while commotion is created by poor communication.
He also addresses the need for a definition of love that is scriptural rather than secular, maintaining that too many couples today focus more on being happy than being holy. Chapman explains that the secular meaning of love is a feeling, while the scriptural meaning is a commitment.
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43 of 45 people found the following review helpful By Amazon Customer on December 5, 2004
Format: Hardcover
First of all, I love Gary Chapman's books. I started with reading "The Five Love Languages", then I read "The Love Languages of God".

As a new Christian, there are things that I found very difficult to understand when people who explain to me their opinion of a Christ-centered relationship and what a mature Christian is. I was so confused and felt disappointed and hopeless.

CHAPMAN'S book came to my rescue!

The chapter "Covenant Marriage" explained the concept of a Christ-centered relationship and actually gives you some pretty basic steps to build that foundation.

The chapter "Spiritual Intimacy" is probably the section of the book that meant the most to me. It explained the concepts of spiritual growth and spiritual intimacy.

--Spiritual Growth illustrated to me that I was a mature Christian, and that mature Christians want to be more like Christ. It's not that they've been going to church and reading the Bible for years. It's in their willingness to be living sacrifices to God and to be more like Christ.

--Spiritual Intimacy also answered the question that I had, "How can a newly rededicated Christian be loving, convenant relationship with someone who has been a Christian for some time?" According to Chapman, both partners don't have to be at the same level in their relationships with God; however, they have to be willing to share it with each other.

This book gave me a lot of hope for establishing a devinely blessed covenant relationship with the man God has chosen for me.
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36 of 38 people found the following review helpful By Raymond Chua on January 20, 2004
Format: Hardcover
This is indeed one of the powerful book written on building communications & total intimacy (Physical, Emotional, Intellectual, Sexual and Spiritual) in marriage. This book effectively deals with the root of broken marriage problems, our relationship with God, which is central in building an intimate marriage. This book is an excellent investment in restoring, building and enriching your relationship.
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32 of 37 people found the following review helpful By Truth Seeker on October 2, 2008
Format: Hardcover
To be honest, I gave this book every benfit of the doubt I could muster, but still felt let down at the end of nearly every chapter. Gary Chapman's approach to a covenant marriage is decidedly secular in its premise, taking most of its cues from popular psychology (self-esteem issues, childhood emotional distress, personal rights to happiness and self-fulfillment). While I don't deny these problems exist for the average Christian, I believe God, through His Word, has called us to a life that chooses to esteem others primarily and ourselves secondarily, a life that moves beyond the chains of childhood trauma, and a life whose rights have been voluntarily relinquished in service to Christ.
So many times, he gets close to the root of the problems we experience in our relationships, but doesn't quite go deep enough. The Bible teaches that my own sinful desires are the reason I fight and quarrell with my wife, not the pattern of communication I learned from my parents. The Bible calls damaging patterns of communication sin, not Chapman's sugar-coated term "unhealthy communication". The Bible teaches that we are each responsible for our responses, emtions, thoughts, and behaviors, not our spouse who is assaulting our self-esteem.
Chapman's use of Scriptre is almost entirely antecdotal, being used as a tool to verify his already-established ideas rather than as the foundation from which he develops his thesis.
All that being said, I believe he hit the nail on the head with his concept of the "covenant marriage" versus the "contract marriage." The covenant marriage is lived out for the good of both persons involved, with no thought for divorce, to glory of God.
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