54 of 54 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Another Valuable Marriage Volume to Chapman's Portfolio, January 24, 2004
This review is from: Covenant Marriage: Building Communication and Intimacy (Hardcover)
Popular author and relationship expert Gary Chapman adds yet another valuable marriage volume to his portfolio with COVENANT MARRIAGE. Well known for his bestselling series of titles based on "The Five Love Languages," he strives in his latest work to move couples from a contract mentality toward covenant matrimony.
Decrying the growing divorce rate among Christians, Chapman calls readers to a closer commitment to the cause of Christ. In his estimation there isn't the social stigma attached to divorce that there once was, and this is largely a result of divorce becoming culturally acceptable in the church.
Chapman suggests that communication and intimacy are essential to maintaining the sacredness of the marriage relationship, and he outlines the means to achieving them with skill and sensitivity. Identifying the types of unhealthy communication patterns and the five levels of communication, he offers readers useful material in a meaningful manner.
As Chapman cleverly points out, "The word communication is found in the dictionary between the words commotion and community." Building on that thought, he suggests to couples that community is the result of good communication while commotion is created by poor communication.
He also addresses the need for a definition of love that is scriptural rather than secular, maintaining that too many couples today focus more on being happy than being holy. Chapman explains that the secular meaning of love is a feeling, while the scriptural meaning is a commitment.
According to Chapman, the mistake that many people make is that they place an emphasis on the fleeting emotion of happiness, which is dependent on what is happening temporarily instead of on the eternal value of holiness, which is reflective of a life wholly submitted to the Lord. After all, he states, the purpose of life is to do the will of God, not our own.
Paradoxically, Chapman reminds readers that life is more than having a good marriage. "The Christian's ultimate call is not the call to develop a good marriage; the Christian's call is to be a disciple of Jesus Christ. As Christians, we must remember that marriage is not an end in itself," he writes.
One particularly helpful resource is a chart with the heading, "Personality Opposites," which treats readers to an instructive listing of a dozen stereotypical personality types and their polar opposites, offering an insightful lesson on how opposites attract.
Toward the close of the book, Chapman devotes several chapters to specific types of intimacy, including emotional intimacy, intellectual intimacy, sexual intimacy and spiritual intimacy, complete with helpful suggestions for achieving each type.
A welcome addition to the growing collection of marriage enrichment guides, COVENANT MARRIAGE is a must-read for anyone who desires a marriage modeled on covenant commitment rather than contract convenience.
--- Reviewed by Sean Fowlds
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38 of 39 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Building the ultimate Christ-centered relationship, December 5, 2004
This review is from: Covenant Marriage: Building Communication and Intimacy (Hardcover)
First of all, I love Gary Chapman's books. I started with reading "The Five Love Languages", then I read "The Love Languages of God".
As a new Christian, there are things that I found very difficult to understand when people who explain to me their opinion of a Christ-centered relationship and what a mature Christian is. I was so confused and felt disappointed and hopeless.
CHAPMAN'S book came to my rescue!
The chapter "Covenant Marriage" explained the concept of a Christ-centered relationship and actually gives you some pretty basic steps to build that foundation.
The chapter "Spiritual Intimacy" is probably the section of the book that meant the most to me. It explained the concepts of spiritual growth and spiritual intimacy.
--Spiritual Growth illustrated to me that I was a mature Christian, and that mature Christians want to be more like Christ. It's not that they've been going to church and reading the Bible for years. It's in their willingness to be living sacrifices to God and to be more like Christ.
--Spiritual Intimacy also answered the question that I had, "How can a newly rededicated Christian be loving, convenant relationship with someone who has been a Christian for some time?" According to Chapman, both partners don't have to be at the same level in their relationships with God; however, they have to be willing to share it with each other.
This book gave me a lot of hope for establishing a devinely blessed covenant relationship with the man God has chosen for me.
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31 of 32 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Marriage Enrichment, January 20, 2004
This review is from: Covenant Marriage: Building Communication and Intimacy (Hardcover)
This is indeed one of the powerful book written on building communications & total intimacy (Physical, Emotional, Intellectual, Sexual and Spiritual) in marriage. This book effectively deals with the root of broken marriage problems, our relationship with God, which is central in building an intimate marriage. This book is an excellent investment in restoring, building and enriching your relationship.
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