The Coward's Guide to Conflict: Empowering Solutions for Those Who Would Rather Run Than Fight [Paperback]

Tim Ursiny (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 1, 2003

Nobody likes conflict, but you can't avoid it. Top performers just like you face problems every day. If you know how to deal with conflict well, you can turn it into your biggest opportunity for success.

The Top Performer's Guide to Conflict is your essential conflict handbook, giving you the tools you need to manage conflict and come out on top. Discover:

--Why you must know how to handle conflict
--How to recognize conflict before it happens
--The best ways to deal with difficult people
--How to build strength by overcoming problems
--Secrets to impacting and leading others
--Tools to guide you past conflict

Top performers face conflict head-on and come out on top. You are just a short read away from mastering this essential skill.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Ursiny, a mediation coach and former practicing psychologist, readily admits that he's a "coward" when it comes to any kind of conflict. He believes that there are many people like himself who wince at the thought of having an argument or avoid confronting work colleagues. Everyone, regardless of their position at work, can learn to handle conflict more effectively. The benefits, according to Ursiny, are immense and include more self-confidence, less anger, greater self-respect and more intimacy. To help readers learn how to change the way they handle conflict, each chapter opens with a brief case study. The author then uses checklists and exercises designed to teach the reader new ways to handle conflict. Ursiny is clever and readers will recognize and immediately understand his hypothetical situations. For example, the author says that people avoid exercise by focusing on the "pain" of getting up early, taking time, or not being able to sleep later or do other things they enjoy more. The motivated person, on the other hand, focuses on how much better he or she will look and feel and the positive reinforcement that other people will provide. Particularly useful is the chapter on "Avoiding the Top Ten Mistakes Made When Dealing With People." Readers will identify with the irate man whose flight has been canceled. This is a wonderfully engaging book that should easily motivate readers to rethink their behavior and conversations both at work and at home.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.

About the Author

Timothy E. Ursiny, Ph.D., the founder of Advantage Coaching & Training, is a success coach specializing in human behavior and achievement in life and in the workplace. He is an expert on communication skills and conflict resolution. Before becoming one of the leading personal and business coaches in the country, he was a psychologist in private practice for seven years. He lives with his family in Wheaton, Illinois.

Product Details

• Paperback: 304 pages
• Publisher: Sourcebooks, Inc.; 1 edition (March 1, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1402200552
• ISBN-13: 978-1402200557
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 7 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (27 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #75,817 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #70 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Relationships > Conflict Management

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

43 of 44 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars I really enjoyed this book!, September 21, 2003

By A Customer

This review is from: The Coward's Guide to Conflict: Empowering Solutions for Those Who Would Rather Run Than Fight (Paperback)

I have always hated conflict. Although I have read other good books on conflict, none of them were helpful in overcoming the fear of confrontation. What I like about the "Coward's Guide" is that it helped me get to the root of my fear of conflict and gave me ideas on how to decrease it. I will say that it is not a book that you can just glance at and put aside. I had to put in the effort to do the exercises in order to really "feel" what the author was teaching. However, the pay off was worth it.

One of the most important things that I learned is that there are a lot of costs that come with avoiding conflict. The author helped me see that good things can come from healthy conflict like greater intimacy and respect.

37 of 40 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Insightful!, November 21, 2004

By 

Rolf Dobelli "getAbstract" (Switzerland) - See all my reviews
(HALL OF FAME REVIEWER)    (TOP 500 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Coward's Guide to Conflict: Empowering Solutions for Those Who Would Rather Run Than Fight (Paperback)

This is a fine, short guide to managing conflict. Author Tim Ursiny particularly addresses those of you who are "conflict cowards," people who do not like conflict...and who does, outside of a few well-compensated litigaters? Ursiny himself is a confessed hater of conflict. He has hated it ever since he was a child and now, even though he's an executive coach and a fairly beefy guy, he still hates it. He is also a psychologist, and his style and approach have much in common with the work of other pop psychology writers, although this guide is more useful than most. Ursiny keeps the reading light by providing ample anecdotes and he invites readers to participate through several self-examination questionnaires. He provides some clearly written, easily accessible explanations of how conflicts occur and how to manage them. In fact, he defines conflict, its consequences and even its benefits so broadly that almost anyone fits the book's target audience. You got a problem with that? We doesn't and warmly recommend this entertaining, refreshing book, which - we agree - has something for almost everyone who'd rather duck than fight.

18 of 19 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Right on Point!, June 16, 2004

By A Customer

This review is from: The Coward's Guide to Conflict: Empowering Solutions for Those Who Would Rather Run Than Fight (Paperback)

Ursiny uses examples to illustrate his points so well - one example looked like it came right out of my work environment - as if he was a fly on the wall! No one likes to face conflict and we are all pretty good at avoidance. This book helps one understand conflict and, most inmportantly, how to face and resolve it in an honest, respectful and EFFECTIVE way. FIVE STARS!!!!!