Customer Reviews

Crackerjack 3

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When I stumbled across a home video release of Crackerjack 3, I bought it for a couple of reasons. First, I thought it was a "sequel" to a 1994 movie called Crackerjack, with Thomas Ian Griffith as a cop and Christopher Plummer as a neo-Nazi, clashing at a mountain resort over a complicated plan to steal millions in mob diamonds and to cover it up. That movie had lame writing and acting, but still managed to be a fairly entertaining low-budget knockoff of movies in the Die Hard mold. Second, I bought the movie because of Bo Svenson, who I had liked years earlier in "Walking Tall."

As Crackerjack 3 played, I could barely believe my eyes. The supposed "action" movie did not even try to be serious. It was sheer farce. The "Crackerjack" name was a misleading gimmick. There was no continuity with anything from before. The music, tone, pacing, acting, and characters were all suited for a bad comedy, not a drama. Everything in the film, including the rag-tag assortment of elderly ex-spies, assembled by Svenson to combat his corrupt successor as head of a covert spy agency, seemed to be played for an unfunny joke. The villain floundered as ineffectively as everybody else in the film. The story was so thin, disorganized, slow-moving, aimless, and boring that the only thoughts it provoked were of the clock and the fast-forward button.

I can honestly think of nothing good to say. This movie was as close to a pointless, worthless waste of time and money as any I have ever seen.

I was going to write a review but hell, why waste my time. I would never recomend this movie to anyone I like. With 1000's of new movies out every year why would anyone be interested in this one? My recomendation... don't watch it on a full stomach.