Customer Reviews

Crawling: A Father's First Year

5 star:		(16)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

Mr. Cooper has set down on paper a series of memorable vignettes that vividly recount his battles and struggles with--and total adoration of--his daughter (and the idea and reality of being a father). As a young father myself, I recognized many of his psychological struggles as my own (why must there be so much pink in a young girl's life?!). But the moments and descriptions I had not experienced were perhaps the most humorous and gut-wrenching.

This is a perfect book for anyone seeking insights into (or commiseration with) what a "modern" father must wrestle with on his becoming a parent as seen through the lens of a gifted writer.

Since I'm not a father, I don't really read fatherhood books. (I never had the impulse to pick up one of the comedian-penned works, which I imagine to be filled with funny observations like "and the baby threw up ALL OVER!" Ha. What a gas). But "Crawling" is different. It's written by a young father who also happens to be a children's book author and who, as far as I know, has never done stand-up. Additionally, I believe, this is his first real foray into the adult world. So, how well does he pull it off? Very well, I think (this from your childless reviewer).

Crawling is funny, extremely well-written, and--I loathe to use such a precious word--poingnant. What Cooper delivers to us is a glimpse of what it's like to be a young guy toting a baby through it's first year of life. This might sound ho-hum, but Cooper is pretty unflinching in his portrayal of himself, his peers, his family. Sometimes he's a good dad, sometimes he's not. He screws up in real ways (not what I imagine to be the comedians' screw ups--"the baby threw up ALL OVER, and I wiped it up with BURLAP." Har har har.) He's got more than a bit of the angry young man in him, which leads to problems with other adults on the planet (check out the chapters "A Bunny Orgy" and "In the Land of Mothers"). In the end, the book, more than anything else, feels real.

Full disclosure: I got this book because I'm familiar with the author's other works and know the author personally. (This shouldn't discredit the review, since I wouldn't have written anything if I didn't love the book). Had I not known him, however, I probably wouldn't have picked up Crawling any more than I'd have grabbed one of the comedian books from the Humor shelf. That said, I'm very happy that I did grab Crawling, or else I really would have missed out. As a young man myself (one who wants kids), this book truly spoke to me, despite my current dearth of progeny. And that's sayin' something.

Here's the thing: I'm a mother and I completely recognized myself in this book about fatherhood. Elisha Cooper's essays about his first year as a breastless parent is honest, hilarious, and insightful. I alternately laughed out loud (cliche though that may sound) and nodded my head vigorously with recognition. Cooper owns up to a short temper (check), to stealing time by dawdling on his solo errands (check) and to not changing his shirt during a cross-country drive (uh, well, maybe not...). But his attention to his daughter, to what she is thinking, feeling, and perceiving at every moment, and his articulate musings on her future and on his future with her make me want to be a better parent.
Crawling is for every potential father and mother who is apprehensive about maintaining his or her sense of self and privacy after the kid arrives. Which is to say, it's for all parents.

I had so much fun reading this! Cooper reminded me of a "This American Life" contributor--a touch of Sedaris, perhaps--only he's more curmudgeonly, athletic, and hetero. His thoughtful, hilarious quips (did he really just say that?) play well against the self-effacing, frank, and quiet insights of a dad slammed into his new identity of Parent. As a childless person, the majority of whose friends are all kid-ified, I sped through the chapters--each new anecdote would lift a whole new backpack full of my own fears of someday becoming a mom myself. Yes, Cooper tells us, you can have a child and still have selfish thoughts, make mistakes, and cling to what you enjoy about your life, and despite everything you will love so many unexpected things about this new person you have welcomed into your home. Parenthood can be a terrifying thing, but it's survivable. And funny. And full of warm moments. And, on top of it all, you can still down a forty with your pals here and there, or whatever your own guilty pleasure might be.

In "Crawling: A Father's First Year", Elisha Cooper invites us along for an entertaining--hilarious at times--introspective look in the first year of raising his first child, Zoë (with wife Elise). As he narrates his emotional and logistical confrontations of becoming a new father, I thoroughly enjoyed Cooper's honest and endearing style, knack for subtle yet enduring witty prose, and Sedaris-esque (though less quirky) use of metaphor.

Cooper's main reflection is his attempt to reconcile the sometimes conflicting sense of manhood and fatherhood, of personal selfishness and parental selflessness that parents are faced with, yet are never really prepared for. Through his disarming ruminations, he reminds us that after all, even though (some of us) are parents; we are only human as well. And doing the best we can, with a full and honest heart. Just as it should be.

This book was a delightful read. His accompanying illustrations, were a subtle yet nice compliment to his narrative. I would highly recommend this book not only to parents to be (men especially, but not only), yet even as a single man with no kids in sight I thoroughly enjoyed Cooper's prose and fresh perspective.

As a mother of 2, I sort of dreaded reading "Crawling"- I could imagine the catalogue of 'firsts' for the novice dad before even cracking the cover. But when I did, I read the book cover to cover. Not only does Cooper avoid being trite, he manages to be honest, funny, shocking, reflective, infuriating and sympathetic. While few of us can relate to Cooper's lifestyle as an artist, the book has universal appeal. It's a pleasure to see parenting and Berkeley through the eyes of this anti-hero. A little gem!

My wife is due with our first (a girl!) October 4th of this year. We're six months in and the shopping for all the things we "need" has commenced. In short order the shopping circuit was refined to a couple new, hip baby shops choke-full of too cute and cool baby junk, ah, I mean, whatnot.

I'm nervous when my dear wife talks about going to these places for two reasons: 1) because the proprietors shamelessly price their wares into the stratosphere (which may lead to a fight about having to return something) and 2) because the stuff itself is annoyingly perfect in terms of design, calculated to cause an urban parent of a certain aesthetic to say "Oh, that's so cute/cool!" and reach for the plastic. I loathe consumerism and can't stand the idea of being inside the small rings of a market target. Marriage is about compromise, though. So -- as long as she gets clearance from the financial gatekeeper of the family (aka me) -- I grin and bare it.

But when said wife toted the subject book home from one of these joints, complete with the too cute and cool cover, I was skeptical to say the least. I knew her heart was in the right place, but I couldn't help (mentally) rolling my eyes. If it hadn't been for a backlog of guilt over having read nothing to date in preparation for our cherub's arrival, "Crawling" would have been put at crawling level on my nightstand and left for baby's future teething pleasure. Guilt, however, is a great motivator.

I cracked the thing and started reading. From page one, I was surprised. The tone was chatty and approachable; the prose were lucid and well-written. Admittedly, it's a particular style, not one everyone is going to like. But I found the stories funny and revealing. This guy seemed like someone you would meet at a party who, despite being an Ivy-leaguer with a wife getting a PhD from Berkeley, would be fun to drink a beer with and not at all caught up in his pedigree.

Maybe he IS a self-important jerk in real life, but he does not come across as such in this book. He named dropped a bit, but I think it was as a matter of course. Why should it be held against him if he likes to go to Chez Panisse for dinner once in a while? (By the way, I'm pretty sure he speaks of going primarily to the cafe upstairs, which is less expensive than the main restaurant.) Frankly, I was glad to hear that he did. My wife and I are concerned we won't get to go out to dinner to restaurants we love once boobkins comes along. He addressed this concern head on and I appreciated his perspective.

As to his day not including work, I mean, what do you expect? He's a writer, for crying out loud. That's not a "go to this place, check in, work, check out" kind of job. Obviously he finds time to write, he just doesn't describe it. This book isn't about the struggle of fitting work into his life with a new baby. It's about his emotional experience being a new father.

To some extent, I can understand the criticisms leveled at the book here. But I think they are way too harsh (e.g. the cup peeing thing was a little gross, but, hey, different strokes... if they'd have drank it, well, that would have been another story). I was worried it was going to be too precious or self-conciously cool. But it wasn't. This was a nice light read which gave me some relief from certain anxieties I have as an expectant first time father. Given that that seems to be the goal of the book, I can recommend it

The first time I read "Crawling" I smiled often. It is strangely comforting to watch a fellow human flail, especially when they bring to it a sense of humor.

I bellylaughed the second time through - this time as an insider. With a newborn shrieking in your face at 3am you need all the coping mechanisms you can get - one of the most effective is insightful, comic relief.

It's a great book. Buy it.

Elisha Cooper never wanted kids. Or at least he thought. Until he and his wife were expecting their daughter Zoe. And then life took a whole other turn--into parenthood. That's the entire premise of Elisha's book CRAWLING. And let's be honest, I am not sure Elisha knew it, but he probably really did want to be a Dad. Deep down inside (come on, why else would he, ironically, illustrate children's books?).

As much as I read (and write) mom lit, I thought I had the whole parenting psyche down. But Elisha proved me wrong. His perspective on the father side of parenting--diapers, breastfeeding, sharing his wife, building cribs, sharing his morning walks, breaking his routines, and well--everything called fathering is absolutely enchanting. Enchanting in that ever so-truthful it hurts sorta way. In fact, Cooper is so honest in these essays it almost hurts to read them. He admits rightfully, about how he was clueless and at the same time enchanted by his daughter. About how he and his wife had favorite outfits for his daughter--and the moment his wife left the house, he changed the clothes.

The essays are arranged in order--from birth to 12 months of the first year of parenthood for Elisha, his wife, and new little daughter Zoe. The essays are definitely from the heart. Earth shatteringly honest. And one of the freshest prose I've read this year. I was chuckling. Crying. Shaking my head in recognition in almost every chapter. And at the same time shaking my head in disbelief. Not that Elisha said anything that wasn't true--far from it! He said what was all to real no matter what side of the parenting is yours.

So I'm sitting in a West Village cafe opposite a beautiful young writer, and she's friends with a guy named Eli Cooper who seems to be living a dream life as a children's book author. He's just written his first non-watercolor-painted book on fatherhood, she has it, and don't I want to check it out?

I don't know if I do. Will I be jealous of his writing? Should I trust this review by this other guy? Parenthood isn't something I'm rushing into. Even a book about it raises my heartbeat. (I'm married but childless. For now.)

Reading the first two chapters floors me instantly. This is not at all what I expected. How do you make fresh what so many other people have tried to write? Well, this Elisha guy succeeds. Mr. Cooper writes with such a natural tone it's like listening to an old friend just kind of chuckling over the phone. At the same time, his observations are sharp, cutting, and hilarious. This is the good stuff. I'm buying it. Go get it!!